Help me figure this out.......

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... are you sure?

First it was his mentally ill ex that committed suicide. Then it's a conviction that does not allow him to date people with developmental disabilities. And neither makes his behavior reasonable.

Hi Angnix,

I'm not sure if you want more input on this or not, but I can't stop worrying about the situation. Please forgive me if I'm saying too much or if it's unsolicited, but you did ask us what you should think of this chap.

You are recently bereaved, vulnerable, lonely, (horny), (smitten), and developmentally delayed with autism. I think you also mentioned mental illness (either bipolar or borderline -- I'm sorry I can't remember). You said you have been manipulated by your uncle repeatedly in your life. He has a history of emotional blackmail and gaslighting. He makes fun of your feelings and tries to make everything "your fault". He has also been attempting to hook you up with questionable men since you lost your husband at new year. It's almost like he's pimping you out (sorry to be rude, but he's abnormally interested in your love life, and he is controlling).

It seems you have chosen to stay with your uncle and this other guy voluntarily, rather than isolating alone.

You just reported that a) this guy's ex was mentally ill and committed suicide, and then b) he's a criminal. He was convicted of a crime against a developmentally disabled person (presumably female). This shows that he has a history of dating or being attracted to people who are vulnerable. He isn't allowed to be with other vulnerable partners. That's a pretty serious crime and a very serious sentence. I'm sure you'll never know exactly what happened, because he twists the truth.

He's already manipulating you by messing with your head about the other woman, and telling pseudo-stories about his intent. Your uncle thinks it's a big joke and that (as usual) you are to blame. The man is a criminal, Angnix, whether he's kind or not. He isn't supposed to be involved with people who have disabilities. Whether he calls your relationship "friendship" or not, he's covering his arse so that he can't be accused of having romantic interest in you. Meanwhile he is screwing with your head and your heart. He's doing what he is prohibited from doing, and hiding behind the fact "we're just friends". I doubt that sex was the defining feature of his relationship with the other woman. He was more likely guilty of emotional abuse and psychological powerplay by exploiting her disability.

As a woman who has been manipulated, exploited and abused myself, I see the red flags.

Please get away from these people. Their behaviour will become insidious because you are growing used to it one day at a time. From an outsider's perspective (including many other people commenting on this thread), you aren't in a safe situation.

I know you like him. He obviously likes the excitement of knowing you like him ... and that it's forbidden. He likes bending the rules and seeing how far he can take this.

Tell me to shut up if you'd like, but I had to say what's on my mind.

I do wish you would go home, and forget about this person who is clearly a criminal with no respect for women.

^ seconded.

Get as far away from this guy and his history as you can.

Indeed. His behavior would be worrisome even if he wasn't a criminal. But being convicted of a sex crime and displaying worrisome behavior on top of it

I insisted and my uncle is going to take me home later.

^ Good.

Let us know when you’re home and safe.

Good for you Angnix and to all here who supported you.

Very relieved, Agnix. You are far safer now.xx

Ty... With part of my stimulus money and money I already have from state taxes I'll get some books, video games and watch movies to pass time.

Thank goodness. I didn't like the sound of him at all. Please don't get drawn back into all that pathology.

At first because of his fidgeting I thought he could be ASD, but I found out he's ADHD btw with other disorders...

I've noticed members of his and my family treat him as if he's innocent of his crime so he could be... But it's still kinda crummy that he was telling more than one girl he was in love with them... My aunt says guys often do that though. But yeah, he'd be breaking his probation if he dated me.