A new word: ZUMPING

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I wouldn't mind a friend comforting me during a difficult time.

But cake? No thanks! Cook me a healthy meal, please.

Friends can turn up unannounced, drink 3 cups of coffee, deplete other stores and either complain or attempt to justify themselves. They are welcome to do repeat this pattern for up to 6 months at a time. They don't require much input.

Maybe because NT's refuel each other and are interdependent and ASD's are more autonomous and self-fueling.

Last edited by Teach51 on 21 Apr 2020, 4:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

Asperger named the Condition he discovered autistic psychopathy. It goes to reason that most of us on the high end of the spectrum “have no heart.” I’d had to “bottle up” my feelings for quite a long time due to 1)being the family idiot 2) being the village idiot, and 3) being persecuted for even having or showing feelings By my parents.

That could be part of it. I LOVE being in an interdependent romantic relationship but I cant be comfortable & myself around anyone else including my own family.

My friends fill the void in my aching heart with love when I am distressed, I have exceptionally special friends. Needless to say being "zumped" if it ever happened would not be a source of distress for me, just something that happens in this era of superficial hook ups and the perpetual need to "upgrade" with the illusion that the grass will be greener elsewhere.

I used to hear all the gossip from coffee mornings twice a week, most of it centered around the excluded partners (in this case boyfriends). Anyway, it was very gossipy and reading about Zumping reminded me of a culture that I'm familiar but one I didn't partake in, where fatalistic friends wait in the wings with proscribed remedies and everyone is keenly aware of how well everyone else's relationships were going.

IMHO people who have the "need" to "upgrade" to a more luxurious or sporty human, are sociopathic and should just be avoided.

I am hoping that this global crisis will lead to more introspection and there will be a return to better values and priorities. People should not have to look like Mr Universe or pad their bums with botox in order to be valued. Humanity has really lost all sense of what is important.

IOW too many have lost the essence of what it means to be human.

Quite so.

Don’t count on it! People in the USA have the memory length of probably .0000000001 second, and it gets shorter by the minute.

The point of this original article was that it's harder to be dumped during Coronavirus than during "real life".

It wasn't about whether a person should be sad during a breakup.

I still maintain that it's better and more authentic to break up online if needed, than to stick with someone for months of quarantine when your heart isn't in it and you are deceiving them until you meet again.

I think that would be even more hurtful.

I can't imagine needing to maintain a relationship that wasn't working, on top of all the other stressors, just to be politically correct during a stay-at-home order.

That being said, I agree that I'd rather be sad in private than crying all over other people and expecting gifts.

I guess we're all different in that regard.

I agree. A lot of people just go straight for ghosting/curving nowadays. That's way worse, imo.

Oh true. What's curving?

Curving is when you are trying to talk to your s/o and they reply in non-committal and disinterested ways, as an attempt to "let you down gently" ig.

For example, last year I was seeing someone whose "car broke down" and then he went to another country. Then I went home for the summer. He was increasingly more and more distant and formal, but when I asked him about it, he was like, "I'm just stressed" "I don't have time" etc. I didn't want to press him further, but eventually (as in after several months of this...) I just told him that if he wanted to end it he should just do so.

There's also "soft ghosting" where instead of replying they just "like" everything you say... Ugh. It is just not good practice.