Is It Our Fault We're Alone? - My Opinion Has Changed

Post Reply New Topic

I am an illustration of the notion—that “it’s not the meat, it’s the motion.”

I strongly feel that an appeal to “genes” is a gross oversimplification.

Not everyone wants to get married

Different people find different things attractive

Not everyone married has a good physique, career, or a driver's license

Some people are naturally fatter or less attractive than others (set point theory)

It is a good thing to do your best, doing your best doesn't guarantee the outcome

In some cities, a lot of traffic and not a lot of parking. It is easier to take public transportation than drive a car

Some diseases and drugs cause weight gain

The world needs a wide variety of occupations to function. It is not happening that everyone could be whatever they want to be when they grow up

In United States the divorce rate is fifty percent

Not everyone is good at their job

Not everyone likes their job

Not everyone has a job

Just because you don't have a spouse, doesn't mean that you are morally inferior to someone that has a spouse

There are many reasons to get married

There are many reasons not to get married

Being single has advantages and disadvantages

Regardless of marital status, "life" goes on and on and on and on and on




Match for com

Many times, there really isn’t a “reason” why certain circumstances happen in life.

This is why I feel like the search for any one “reason” could lead to over-analysis which could very well lead to “paralysis by analysis”.

There are many things about me that could very well negatively impact my ability to find romance.

1. I’m a short man. Just under 5 foot 5.

2. I’m overweight. About 180 pounds.

3. I dress like a nerd. I used to wear dirty clothes, too. My clothes sometimes don’t fit too well.

4. I can go on and on about something I’m interested in, and have bored many people.

5. I have no mechanical ability. I’m useless in a DIY sense.

6. I sometimes don’t listen too well.

7. I can be stubborn and persistent in arguing a point.

8. I have little charisma

9. I don’t exude intelligence. I don’t convey knowledge well.

10. I take myself too seriously.

11. My sense of humor is still not as “advanced” as many people here. People living “odd” lifestyles tend to scorn me because Im too strait-laced. I once lost a lover because I didn’t smoke weed.

And many other things.



Yet, I’ve done okay, somehow. My solution (and it worked!) WAS adopting a “lackadaisical attitude.”

I pretty much stopped seeking to “meet women” outside my work environment. Inevitably, I would socialize with women within my women-dominated work environment. This gave me the opportunity to “practice,” so to speak. I guess living in a large urban area helped matters.

After a while, I feel like my outward presentation to women changed. And my conversations changed to my interests outside of finding romance. I began to see women as being human, rather than being mystical, enigmatic creatures. I began to acquire confidence through these conversations, and through “practice” in how to “listen” to people. I learned, in essence, not to “try too hard.”

I continued to think about women, though I stopped making a concerted effort to seek a relationship. I would gather that you probably know my solution when I felt biological urges which could not be satisfied by a loving woman.

In my case I was born with various physical & mental disabilities besides Aspergers which caused me to majorly struggle with lots of life things including romantic relationships. It does look like I got a raw deal in life compared to most but I'm NOT gonna say I think it's society's fault or it's my fault regarding my life situation & how much & how long I struggled to get a romantic relationship. Some people just have more problems than others & things may not be due to anybody's fault. Maybe the person has disabilities or illnesses, maybe they were a victim of a natural disaster, maybe the person is less smart, maybe the person just has poor judgement & decision making skills, maybe the person is just always in the wrong place at the wrong times & there's no way anybody can predict em(random chance), & there can be lots of other reasons too. Those things may be nobody's fault but that doesn't mean that there aren't ways those unlucky people & society can improve things for those people. In my case I know I made LOTS of mistakes throughout my life but I'm trying to learn from them & make things better in the future but I also know I have to be realistic. I can only handle so much. I do feel I could of done better if I would of had better medical care & resources & help with life stuff but things are what they are. I won't get anywhere if I go around saying that the world f#cked me over so I'm not gonna do a d@mn thing to help myself since society owes me. I gotta play the cards I'm dealt as best I can.

Nope, we're on the Fnord show.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos