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People assume i am gay

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sly279
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14 Jun 2020, 5:58 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You just don’t tell strangers that....it’s none of their business.

And you have had relationships.

I don’t go around telling people I’ve had 30 lovers. People who aren’t nosy don’t ask these sorts of questions.

People probably think I’m virtually a virgin where I work.

When I was in high school, people expressed shock that I had a girlfriend in my senior year. People didn’t think of me as being capable of such a “feat.”

Nope I’ve never had a relationship.
Doesn’t seem I ever where as it’s too almost too late and my situation is considered more and more a red flag ever year older I get


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kraftiekortie
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14 Jun 2020, 6:06 pm

You would do better in a place like Bend.....that’s for sure.

I used to know people, as friends, who were married, and both the husband and wife had minimum wage jobs. They would get into arguments like anybody else....but you knew they loved each other.



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14 Jun 2020, 6:16 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You would do better in a place like Bend.....that’s for sure.

I used to know people, as friends, who were married, and both the husband and wife had minimum wage jobs. They would get into arguments like anybody else....but you knew they loved each other.

Bend is super conservative why would I do better there?
Women in retail think I’m beneath them. I’ve got no future, I struggle with staying alive long enough for ps5 or or it’s worth the bother.


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sly279
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14 Jun 2020, 7:05 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Maybe not “relationship status”—but you can certainly hide your “virginity” or your “celibacy.”

Sly doesn’t want to be pressured into sex. This can be easily converted to “waiting for the right girl.” Sly is a Christian, and can get away with this.

Normal people my age would have had atleast 5 series us long term relationships by now if not married. Definitely would had dates. The women at my work go at Max a week between relationships. The guys a little longer. Few of them date people at work but never me as I’m a loser with no future.

Most Christians I’ve seen oR talked to have lots of pre marriage sex.


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Pepe
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14 Jun 2020, 10:41 pm

Jamesy wrote:
i am 30 never had a proper girlfriend or sex. When i go out socially people label me as 'gay' and there have been one or 2 occasions were women try and hook me up with other men.

I will admit i dont often talk to/start conversation with women in social settings because fear of rejection.

Do you think me having aspergers has something to do with me being labeld as a homosexual? Because we dont behave in socially normal ways perhaps?


Absolutely it can.
I had this problem for most of my life.
Half the men I used to meet thought I was gay.
But then,
Half the women I used to meet thought I was trying to crack onto them. 8O

It is an aspie/NT misunderstanding thingie.
Don't take it personally. :wink:



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14 Jun 2020, 10:43 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
i am 30 never had a proper girlfriend or sex. When i go out socially people label me as 'gay' and there have been one or 2 occasions were women try and hook me up with other men.

I will admit i dont often talk to/start conversation with women in social settings because fear of rejection.

Do you think me having aspergers has something to do with me being labeld as a homosexual? Because we dont behave in socially normal ways perhaps?


I had people who thought I was gay because I only had one male friend at the time and did not start dating until I was in my mid 30's...
People jump to conclusions.


NTs are often idjits. :mrgreen:



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14 Jun 2020, 10:48 pm

sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
How does this lady know you’ve never had a relationship?

And don’t tell me she can see it in your eyes.

The thing to do....is to not advertise your business to every Tom, Jane, and Morgan.


She asked and I’m honest person.

Most everyone at work can tell I’m single and never had a relationship and a loser.
Everyone else talks about their relationship or their partner visits. I’m the only one who doesn’t so it’s not rocket science.


BIG mistake.
Never be honest with an NT. :mrgreen:

But yes,
My openness and honesty did cause me many problems.
Most NTs don't expect it, and I am serious when I say that.

These days I just avoid people wherever possible.
Problem solved for me because I am much older than you and don't want a partner. :wink:



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14 Jun 2020, 10:54 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
I think people just think of me as too young (I’m 27 but look like I’m about 16), or as “mentally handicapped” to the point where I’m off the market (I’m not, but something about me gives people that impression no matter what I do). They probably assume I’ve never had a romantic relationship (which is true) and never will, and that once I’m an adult (which I already am), I’ll spend my life in some sort of care home and essentially be a child for my whole life.


What's wrong with that?
It is called an "Alternative Life Style",
One which I keenly enjoy. 8)



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14 Jun 2020, 10:59 pm

Gentleman Argentum wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
How does this lady know you’ve never had a relationship?

And don’t tell me she can see it in your eyes.

The thing to do....is to not advertise your business to every Tom, Jane, and Morgan.


She asked and I’m honest person.

Most everyone at work can tell I’m single and never had a relationship and a loser.
Everyone else talks about their relationship or their partner visits. I’m the only one who doesn’t so it’s not rocket science.


Don't mistake sexual/romantic activity as "success"

Those of us who have had "success" also get the other side of the coin, betrayal.
Right now I am going through divorce, how much of my $$$ net worth gets taken? Over and beyond that which was already stolen out of my home while I was at work?

It's no big thing getting caught up in some relationship, that can bring a lot of problems too. Be happy being single, ain't anything wrong with that, at all.


I won't make a joke because I know divorce can be one of the most painful experience people can go through.

But yes,
Being single can be a great alternative lifestyle.

BTW,
Probably a bit too soon,
But can you see yourself getting into another significant-other relationship?



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15 Jun 2020, 12:15 am

Yeah, people think I'm gay too. No significant male other and always being in photos with just women. Also being not particularly feminine, being a headstrong, opinionated aspie.

People like to put labels in what they find to be different.

For years I wanted a boyfriend just so I could be normal. I tried forcing too many wrong connections. I'm sick of that.

I'll just get on with life and if someone I can actually connect with comes along that'll be great, but I'm so weird I doubt they ever will.



sly279
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15 Jun 2020, 12:54 am

Pepe wrote:
Gentleman Argentum wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
How does this lady know you’ve never had a relationship?

And don’t tell me she can see it in your eyes.

The thing to do....is to not advertise your business to every Tom, Jane, and Morgan.


She asked and I’m honest person.

Most everyone at work can tell I’m single and never had a relationship and a loser.
Everyone else talks about their relationship or their partner visits. I’m the only one who doesn’t so it’s not rocket science.


Don't mistake sexual/romantic activity as "success"

Those of us who have had "success" also get the other side of the coin, betrayal.
Right now I am going through divorce, how much of my $$$ net worth gets taken? Over and beyond that which was already stolen out of my home while I was at work?

It's no big thing getting caught up in some relationship, that can bring a lot of problems too. Be happy being single, ain't anything wrong with that, at all.


I won't make a joke because I know divorce can be one of the most painful experience people can go through.

But yes,
Being single can be a great alternative lifestyle.

BTW,
Probably a bit too soon,
But can you see yourself getting into another significant-other relationship?

Most humans and thst includes me, are social creatures. We aren’t meant to be alone and being alone is severely harmful to our mental and physical health.


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sly279
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15 Jun 2020, 12:57 am

hurtloam wrote:
Yeah, people think I'm gay too. No significant male other and always being in photos with just women. Also being not particularly feminine, being a headstrong, opinionated aspie.

People like to put labels in what they find to be different.

For years I wanted a boyfriend just so I could be normal. I tried forcing too many wrong connections. I'm sick of that.

I'll just get on with life and if someone I can actually connect with comes along that'll be great, but I'm so weird I doubt they ever will.


I wouldn’t care to be normal, but I need true social companionship of a gf and friends and I have neither. You have friends ri fulfill most thst for you, I havent had friends in 10 years. I don’t get any social interaction. Only time i even speak is at work.
I’ve become more wild like an animal in ways. It’s nit at all good mentally for me.


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hurtloam
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15 Jun 2020, 3:47 am

sly279 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Yeah, people think I'm gay too. No significant male other and always being in photos with just women. Also being not particularly feminine, being a headstrong, opinionated aspie.

People like to put labels in what they find to be different.

For years I wanted a boyfriend just so I could be normal. I tried forcing too many wrong connections. I'm sick of that.

I'll just get on with life and if someone I can actually connect with comes along that'll be great, but I'm so weird I doubt they ever will.


I wouldn’t care to be normal, but I need true social companionship of a gf and friends and I have neither. You have friends ri fulfill most thst for you, I havent had friends in 10 years. I don’t get any social interaction. Only time i even speak is at work.
I’ve become more wild like an animal in ways. It’s nit at all good mentally for me.


My desire for a partner changed after I was let down once again and I realised that I can't really rely on anyone.

Being more financially stable helps too. I don't need to split the rent with anyone. I can afford to travel by myself. I don't need anyone practically and no man ever filled any emotional needs, apart from a couple of good friendships which I still have, but nothing more than that has ever brought any happiness.

It's a bit tough right now. You can't even make any effort to meet new people because of the virus.

Art. I think that art is the answer. It makes us less like animals.

Doesn't really help with the gay perception though if you're an arty man, but who cares. Art is real life.



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15 Jun 2020, 6:48 am

Pepe wrote:
I won't make a joke because I know divorce can be one of the most painful experience people can go through.

But yes,
Being single can be a great alternative lifestyle.

BTW,
Probably a bit too soon,
But can you see yourself getting into another significant-other relationship?


Not no, but H*ll No.
Out of habit, I signed on to online matchmakers after the bomb dropped on me, because I have always lived with someone and never been alone. But I soon had second thoughts. The next relationship would very likely follow the same trajectory as all the other relationships.

People always using others, that is what people do. And they lie all the time, I mean all the time.

I gave up on H. sapiens and instead am making acquaintances in the spirit world. Just getting my feet wet.


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15 Jun 2020, 6:54 am

sly279 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Gentleman Argentum wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
How does this lady know you’ve never had a relationship?

And don’t tell me she can see it in your eyes.

The thing to do....is to not advertise your business to every Tom, Jane, and Morgan.


She asked and I’m honest person.

Most everyone at work can tell I’m single and never had a relationship and a loser.
Everyone else talks about their relationship or their partner visits. I’m the only one who doesn’t so it’s not rocket science.


Don't mistake sexual/romantic activity as "success"

Those of us who have had "success" also get the other side of the coin, betrayal.
Right now I am going through divorce, how much of my $$$ net worth gets taken? Over and beyond that which was already stolen out of my home while I was at work?

It's no big thing getting caught up in some relationship, that can bring a lot of problems too. Be happy being single, ain't anything wrong with that, at all.


I won't make a joke because I know divorce can be one of the most painful experience people can go through.

But yes,
Being single can be a great alternative lifestyle.

BTW,
Probably a bit too soon,
But can you see yourself getting into another significant-other relationship?

Most humans and thst includes me, are social creatures. We aren’t meant to be alone and being alone is severely harmful to our mental and physical health.


I'm not human.
I am a Vulcan. 8)
Live long and stay rational. V



Pepe
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15 Jun 2020, 6:57 am

Gentleman Argentum wrote:
Pepe wrote:
I won't make a joke because I know divorce can be one of the most painful experience people can go through.

But yes,
Being single can be a great alternative lifestyle.

BTW,
Probably a bit too soon,
But can you see yourself getting into another significant-other relationship?


Not no, but H*ll No.
Out of habit, I signed on to online matchmakers after the bomb dropped on me, because I have always lived with someone and never been alone. But I soon had second thoughts. The next relationship would very likely follow the same trajectory as all the other relationships.

People always using others, that is what people do. And they lie all the time, I mean all the time.

I gave up on H. sapiens and instead am making acquaintances in the spirit world. Just getting my feet wet.


Animals are better than people.
I seriously mean that.
Get 2 labradors, etc, so they can keep themselves company when you are at work.