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No friends, but constantly having guys "wanting" me

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Pepe
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16 Jun 2020, 8:50 pm

blazingstar wrote:
I don't know why I am surprised, but I am that so many other women had this experience when young. I also could not make friends with other women when I was younger. I didn't understand the "rules" and I thought their lives and conversation was shallow.

Now I have some women friends, but have little interest in most men. Now the women seem interesting and the men seem mostly shallow. This would be NT men, not anyone on WP. Also not including in that my husband, who even after some 12 or more years of living together, still surprises me with his insight and ability to have transformational experiences.

The women friends I have: some are work connected and I wouldn't be surprise if they faded away when we are no longer working together, or are Quaker related and Quakers also move on to other locations and so on.


I find your comment, here, rather offensive.
I can be just as superficial as any NT male,
If I put my mind to it. :wink:



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16 Jun 2020, 9:00 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
I had a male friend in early 2000, I really liked him as a friend, but he wanted more, he wanted me to have sex with him, I was so hurt, I ended it with him.


There are actually 2 options here:
1. Having sex,
Alternatively,
2. Playing aggressive video games with him.

I gather you didn't distract him with the second choice. 8O

Women need to think in terms of:
NT Young men are so close to neanderthals that there isn't a discernable distinction. :wink:

Next time,
Throw a bit of raw meat at their feet to distract them. :mrgreen:



that1weirdgrrrl
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16 Jun 2020, 10:55 pm

Pepe wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I had a male friend in early 2000, I really liked him as a friend, but he wanted more, he wanted me to have sex with him, I was so hurt, I ended it with him.


There are actually 2 options here:
1. Having sex,
Alternatively,
2. Playing aggressive video games with him.

I gather you didn't distract him with the second choice. 8O

Women need to think in terms of:
NT Young men are so close to neanderthals that there isn't a discernable distinction. :wink:

Next time,
Throw a bit of raw meat at their feet to distract them. :mrgreen:


This is pretty much my philosophy :lol:


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beady
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17 Jun 2020, 1:36 am

I have had this issue as well. I’ve felt very misunderstood. I’ve attributed this to my body language and communication style being different from an NT.
It make take just being less open and friendly. Be more serious and thoughtful about what you say and how you say it. Especially what you are doing with your face - don’t smile excessively, don't avoid eye contact, don’t move around a lot while speaking.
I’m not good at this but it’s my goal. It’s very helpful when you want to be taken seriously.



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Jun 2020, 2:28 am

Ladies, this really has nothing to do at all with your asperger or body language or the like...etc

It is simply something that happens all the time between men and women. For instance there's another thread right now started by a female who has a feeling for a male friend, it's just extremely common.



cyberdad
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17 Jun 2020, 4:55 am

Scared the girls away Boo



nick007
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17 Jun 2020, 6:11 am

I like Boo''s posts here. When I was single I kinda got interested in most any woman who was nice towards me. It was NOT a sexual thing. It was more like we got along OK so I thought we could get along in a romantic relationship. I should add that my 1st girlfriend was the best friend I ever had & we connected well & got very close. I didn't have much interest in romantic relationships before she told me she liked me & I realized I liked her too. I also HATED being single after we broke up so that may of been another reason why I got interested in women who were nice to me. My former supervisor was a lot worse. When a woman would be nice or polite to him, he would assume she liked him. I suspect he had a little bit of the delusional disorder Erotomania. There's a song by the christian pop group Superchick[k] that's kinda about this except it's the girl falling for guys :arrow:


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Pepe
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17 Jun 2020, 6:50 am

that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I had a male friend in early 2000, I really liked him as a friend, but he wanted more, he wanted me to have sex with him, I was so hurt, I ended it with him.


There are actually 2 options here:
1. Having sex,
Alternatively,
2. Playing aggressive video games with him.

I gather you didn't distract him with the second choice. 8O

Women need to think in terms of:
NT Young men are so close to neanderthals that there isn't a discernable distinction. :wink:

Next time,
Throw a bit of raw meat at their feet to distract them. :mrgreen:


This is pretty much my philosophy :lol:


:mrgreen:



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17 Jun 2020, 6:54 am

I like cooked meat myself :mrgreen:



Pepe
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17 Jun 2020, 7:02 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I like cooked meat myself :mrgreen:


I think this is the first time I have seen you smile. 8O
It looks good on you. :wink:

So, where do you stand?
Aren't most people interested in just experiencing the moment than establishing long term relationships, in their 20s?



kraftiekortie
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17 Jun 2020, 7:05 am

I feel there are many people in their 20s who desire a permanent relationship. I did when I was in my 20s.

Others just want fleeting trysts, though. I would say this is a minority sentiment.



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17 Jun 2020, 7:17 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I feel there are many people in their 20s who desire a permanent relationship. I did when I was in my 20s.

Others just want fleeting trysts, though. I would say this is a minority sentiment.


I disagree.

You and I aren't *most* people. :wink:

I believe most people, on both sides of the gender divide, want to "Sow their Wild Oats", now that contraception isn't an issue.

I think the OP is better off finding someone in a religious community that embraces a more conservative social attitude.



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17 Jun 2020, 10:49 am

cyberdad wrote:
Scared the girls away Boo


lol

It’s really a bitter truth that they have to accept and swallow.

Otherwise they will keep living this same drama.



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17 Jun 2020, 2:35 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ladies, this really has nothing to do at all with your asperger or body language or the like...etc

It is simply something that happens all the time between men and women. For instance there's another thread right now started by a female who has a feeling for a male friend, it's just extremely common.


I understand you are talking in general or "simply" terms. I have never had the hots for a friend (aside from momentary ovulation), so you are not talking about me and perhaps not about the OP either. All my physical attractions were to non-friends. I always wondered how much of that was psychological vs physiological.

Question for you: I work with all men. I consider two to be close friends. Do they have the hots for me? What about the guys friend from old that I reconnected with (or kept in touch with). Do they have the hots for me? Ha, ha, ha - probably - but they are old enough to know not to say anything? Or their testosterone has dropped?



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17 Jun 2020, 3:00 pm

SharonB wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ladies, this really has nothing to do at all with your asperger or body language or the like...etc

It is simply something that happens all the time between men and women. For instance there's another thread right now started by a female who has a feeling for a male friend, it's just extremely common.


I understand you are talking in general or "simply" terms. I have never had the hots for a friend (aside from momentary ovulation), so you are not talking about me and perhaps not about the OP either. All my physical attractions were to non-friends. I always wondered how much of that was psychological vs physiological.

Question for you: I work with all men. I consider two to be close friends. Do they have the hots for me? What about the guys friend from old that I reconnected with (or kept in touch with). Do they have the hots for me? Ha, ha, ha - probably - but they are old enough to know not to say anything? Or their testosterone has dropped?

Are you single?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Jun 2020, 3:18 pm

SharonB wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ladies, this really has nothing to do at all with your asperger or body language or the like...etc

It is simply something that happens all the time between men and women. For instance there's another thread right now started by a female who has a feeling for a male friend, it's just extremely common.



Question for you: I work with all men. I consider two to be close friends. Do they have the hots for me? What about the guys friend from old that I reconnected with (or kept in touch with). Do they have the hots for me? Ha, ha, ha - probably - but they are old enough to know not to say anything? Or their testosterone has dropped?


I don't know if they do or not, you know them better.

I have a question for you tho: If you seduce them and offer sex to them, how many you think will say "no we are just friends"? :lol: