Page 2 of 3 [ 38 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Teach51
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,808
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.

18 Aug 2020, 9:27 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I care about looks. I am not creepy.


You are the opposite of creepiness kk. The guys could learn a lot from you.


_________________
My best will just have to be good enough.


KT67
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,807

18 Aug 2020, 9:43 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I care about looks. I am not creepy.


I doubt that's all you care about though, KK.

To an NT, being radiant is more about emotion than physical looks anyway.

I'd say the same with some of us autistic ppl cos some of us do express via our faces, we're just more obvious about it & haven't changed our expression for decades.

Some autistic types & a few NTs don't express their expressions, though.

To me 'you look radiant' = 'you look happy and I like that and that makes me happy' :)


_________________
Not actually a girl
He/him


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,095
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

18 Aug 2020, 9:53 am

Teach51 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
"I am wearing sunglasses because you are so radiant" 8)


That's my boy :) Sorry I gave you a headache and sunstroke.
You've got the gift of the gab boo, you've got the gift.



I was not talking to you, I was talking to .... Pepe.

:mrgreen:



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

18 Aug 2020, 9:54 am

To me, “radiance” has much to do with the perceived happiness and contentment of a woman.

It has to do with how a woman’s eyes “talk to you.” And her smile, which “lights up” her face.

I only learned this rather recently. I didn’t fully understand “radiance” when I was younger.



Outsider85
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 188
Location: Wisconsin

18 Aug 2020, 3:06 pm

So if she smiles very big, then her face is lit? The worse thing I would say to a woman is that I wish I could accompany her to a dance, that means she looks extremely gorgeous. If she had a boyfriend or husband, who was to ask to cut in, no fight or argument I would politely step aside.

Might peck the woman’s hand out of chivalry, with her permission.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,280
Location: Pacific Northwest

18 Aug 2020, 3:27 pm

Outsider85 wrote:
Last year I went to a Renaissance Faire. There were women who were dancing on a tiny stage, just spinning and flipping the skirt of their dresses. I took their pictures and the asked if I could kiss their hands out of chivalry. Permission was granted. Did the same to “the lady of chivalry” she told me I was well. I also asked a woman who was dressed up as Poison Ivy, she said sure.

Did I over do it?

I complimented a woman on her dress yesterday she said thank you. Then I told her she looked radiant. Did I over do that situation?



It sounded fine.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.


Outsider85
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 188
Location: Wisconsin

18 Aug 2020, 3:33 pm

It was fine for me to do that. A former coworker of mine, who has a step grandson with Aspergers, told me asking to peck a woman’s hand is showing respect to a lady. I was in a relationship at the time, girlfriend was alright with me doing it, we were going to meet some famous singers and I was trying to be a gentleman to the ladies performing. Unfortunately it was against the rules so I didn’t do it.



Carpeta
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,829
Location: Aisle 12: Office Supplies

18 Aug 2020, 4:17 pm

I would love to be told I looked radiant!


_________________
AQ ave: 29.11 // AQ-10 ave: 7.74
EQ ave: 25.0
rdos averages: Aspie 121 // NT 85.3
RAADS-R: 122.0

Not a doctor.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

18 Aug 2020, 6:15 pm

I don’t mean a “big” smile necessarily.

I meant more a demure, shy, but evident smile.



cberg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,183
Location: A swiftly tilting planet

18 Aug 2020, 6:46 pm

As much as young guys with ASD want to be a friendly face so to speak, people I've encountered have a nasty tendency to either get really suspicious or outright hostile about that. There's a balance to be struck, between the majority of people learning to accept our differences & ASD folks just making an effort to be nice after all the BS we've generally been through.

It's free tech support means I <3 you vs. me being terrified of all you wicked humans, enough so that I WANT TO LIVE IN SVALBARD YOU SAVAGES [in my head every day].

Seriously, I actually do hope this clears things up for at least one or two female perspectives here. It is a major gauntlet to be a dude with ASD, enough so that I might give up a home, my cat, a fast car & everyone I know to get some relief & go skiing.


_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,096
Location: Sweden

19 Aug 2020, 9:52 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
To me, “radiance” has much to do with the perceived happiness and contentment of a woman.

It has to do with how a woman’s eyes “talk to you.” And her smile, which “lights up” her face.

I only learned this rather recently. I didn’t fully understand “radiance” when I was younger.


That all sounds completely alien to me, and so I suspect it is some NT-stuff you picked-up. :-)

From an ND perspective, there is just so much wrong with this:

1. I wouldn't look long enough into a woman's eyes to notice if they "talk", as my natural flirting mode is regular quick glances, and so I won't have time to pick it up.

2. I generally avoid looking at people, and so I would miss if they smile or "light up".

3. For me, happiness and other emotions are not communicated with facial expressions or words, but mind-to-mind.



Dinoro
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 30 Oct 2019
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 6

21 Aug 2020, 11:27 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Did you read my thread that I asked you to read?

I wanted to write it too.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,095
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

23 Aug 2020, 10:17 am

Dinoro wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Did you read my thread that I asked you to read?

I wanted to write it too.



viewtopic.php?f=6&t=387442&start=0

Learn the truth guys.



Outsider85
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 188
Location: Wisconsin

24 Aug 2020, 3:29 am

I read it. I’ll keep the real signs in mind.



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

24 Aug 2020, 6:02 am

rdos wrote:
Pepe wrote:
rdos wrote:
cberg wrote:
Ugh... Leave it to this forum to enlighten us on the million & one wrong ways to be kind. :roll:

It's a damn shame IMO how we expect ourselves to put on acts all the time to blend in, just as much as everyone else expects it.


Agreed. I have a lot more respect for people that are truly kind than for those that feel they must show off in order to get laid.

And being natural triumphs fake kindness every time..


Wot's wrong with a bit of flirtation? :scratch:


I don't count fake behavior as true flirtation. :mrgreen:

Pepe wrote:
BTW,
May I kiss *YOUR* hand, big boy? :mrgreen:


:eew: :eew:


What is fake about intending to flatter? :scratch:



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

24 Aug 2020, 6:06 am

rdos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
"I am wearing sunglasses because you are so radiant" 8)


I almost read it as radioactive. :mrgreen:

Anyway, by complimenting looks you send the message that you care a lot about looks, and so you are one of those creepy types. :mrgreen:


I'm not one dimensional.
I can appreciate how a woman looks, her personality, how she relates to me. 8)