Interesting response on yahoo answers

Page 2 of 2 [ 32 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2

Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:

14 Jan 2021, 10:18 am

hurtloam wrote:

Well, there's so low functioning that you can't dress yourself and there's low functioning can't hold down a job, but can type a coherent sentence. I think there are definitely low functioning people here like ones who won't ever leave their parents homes.

"Low Functioning" seems to range from catatonic/comatose to needing supervision in public.

Please correct me if this is wrong.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

14 Jan 2021, 10:20 am

Fnord wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

"Low Functioning" seems to range from catatonic/comatose to needing supervision in public.

Please correct me if this is wrong.

Ok, so there's levels of high functioning too. I still wouldn't want a partner who I had to organise all the time because their executive functioning is so low.

I've said this 50 times, but i would rather be alone than someone's keeper. There are people here who can't function in society and are stuck.

Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:

14 Jan 2021, 10:22 am

Care-giving has to be the hardest and most heart-breaking of inter-personal activities.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

14 Jan 2021, 10:27 am

I should probably not be participating in this conversation. I'm in a bad mood today.

I hope I haven't upset anyone.

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,926
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

14 Jan 2021, 12:36 pm

hurtloam wrote:

I should probably not be participating in this conversation. I'm in a bad mood today.

I hope I haven't upset anyone.

I understand what you've been saying & I don't think you really upset anyone. I hope you feel better soon.

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill

"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,926
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

14 Jan 2021, 12:42 pm

hurtloam wrote:

Well, there's so low functioning that you can't dress yourself and there's low functioning can't hold down a job, but can type a coherent sentence. I think there are definately low functioning people here like ones who won't ever leave their parents homes.

That's true. I was gonna say something like that but you said better than I was going to. I will add that there are some members here who are completely or almost completely mute who cant be left alone.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,747
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

14 Jan 2021, 1:08 pm

nick007 wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

I should probably not be participating in this conversation. I'm in a bad mood today.

I hope I haven't upset anyone.

I understand what you've been saying & I don't think you really upset anyone. I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks. I think that I worded it too harshly.

I am struggling to keep my own routine at the moment. I'm finding it hard to look after myself. If I had a partner living with me who also needed extra help, I would break. The question was specifically about female autistic people. Would we want an autistic partner?

If we had a way to counteract each others weaknesses, maybe. If he was good at what I was bad at and vice versa so that we could support each other, that might work.

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,926
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

15 Jan 2021, 5:00 am

Fnord wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

Fnord wrote:

While the wording itself is nasty (and should have been edited by the Yahoo staff), it does bring up a valid point: Namely, who would want to date someone whose autism is so severe that they can neither care for themselves nor interact with their date in a meaningful manner?

I was going to say this too. It's unrealistic to expect someone to develop a romantic relationship with someone so low functioning that you're not really a partner, but a carer. Women tend to be relegated to all the emotional labour in an NT/NT relationship, it's even more work if your partner is a high functioning autistic, let alone low functioning. Relationships aren't all sunshine and flowers. They're hard work. Why would someone make that even more difficult for themselves than it already is.

The answer has nothing to do with the original question; since the asker was definitely not referring to that kind of severe Autism. To be clear; no one who can write questions on Yahoo or WP is a low functioning autistic.

That is true, but only as far as it goes. I believe* that most people are not looking for a relationship with a lower-functioning person if they can help it. For example, had I known that my first wife had alcoholism and a bipolar disorder, I would likely NOT have even asked her for a date (especially in light of knowing what I know now).

Of course, there is the flip side that most single people seem to be looking for someone to take care of them in some way -- gold-diggers looking for a Sugar-Daddy, alcoholics looking for a codependent enabler, single moms looking for a baby-daddy-by-proxy, and so forth.

*Mere belief proves nothing.

I think a bit of guys would want a relationship with a woman who was a bit lower-functioning if the woman was hot & would have sex when the guy wanted. Some guys like being in charge. That's not automatically bad but it's very important to make sure that the guy is not abusing the girl.

ezbzbfcg2
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,977
Location: New Jersey, USA

15 Jan 2021, 5:45 am

You might not like the answer, but it gives good insight as to how autism is perceived in "the wild," as opposed to this echo chamber that is WP. By that, I mean that we all know what autistic means and practically everyone using this site is autistic.

But Yahoo Answers gives a broader glimpse into the realities of the majority of people that dominate this world that we're forced to live in. Yes, NTs collectively really do think this way. Is anyone surprised?

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,165
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

15 Jan 2021, 9:14 am

That's why, if you are highly functioning enough, keep your autism secret while dating.

Even from your future wife; if she had accepted your "personality" for long enough then you passed. Your only responsibility is not to hide the real you, you can reveal your "autism" without "disclosing the label".

Especially If you are not officially diagnosed, there's no need to reveal anything because you have no proof that you have it.

I said it many times, nothing good come out of revealing it.

The label "Introvert" is way more accepted and it's SO FREAKING similar to AS in every way (even the eye contact thing) except the sensory issues that some aspies have which are not even part of the official AS diagnosis; so you can use this label while introducing yourself.

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,926
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

15 Jan 2021, 12:02 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I would agree unless you are trying to use your autism as a way to find someone or relate & connect with someone. Like if you start dating someone who talks about having some mental disorders or other disabilities or you intentionally seek out someone like that.

Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

15 Jan 2021, 9:47 pm

Jamesy wrote:

I posted this question on yahoo answers today

“ This question is aimed at women with autism.
My question is though that as an autistic woman would you rather date an autistic man or do you prefer to have a relationship with a man who has not got autism?”

This is a response I got from someone who tried to answer my question

“if they have it bad they cant function without help in society .. what good eould dating a ret*d do them .. no what you likely will be dealing with is a parent that supports them and you are auditioning to take over that role ...”

Do you think response shows a lack of understanding though. Especially saying “ret*d”.

Can you supply the original source link?

Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

15 Jan 2021, 9:49 pm

maycontainthunder wrote:

The response shows a complete and total lack of comprehension of ASD as a whole along with respect.

I am not totally convinced this is genuine.

Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

15 Jan 2021, 9:52 pm

Fnord wrote:

Precisely.
If it were your own child you were looking after, that is different, though there may be rare individuals who are strong enough to engage in a situation like that.

Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

15 Jan 2021, 10:03 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

That's why, if you are highly functioning enough, keep your autism secret while dating.

Even from your future wife; if she had accepted your "personality" for long enough then you passed. Your only responsibility is not to hide the real you, you can reveal your "autism" without "disclosing the label".

That is unethical because autism can be transferred/inherited to/by the child.
Your partner should be aware of something like this before committing to a relationship.

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,926
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

15 Jan 2021, 11:18 pm

Pepe wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

That is unethical because autism can be transferred/inherited to/by the child.
Your partner should be aware of something like this before committing to a relationship.

That is not an issue if you do not plan on having kids :wink:

I have lots of disorders that are supposedly inherited that I have no known family history of. Maybe everyone should get genetic testing to know about all the potential disorders that may run in each other's families before deciding to continue a relationship :chin:

Page 2 of 2 [ 32 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2

Jump to:

Similar Topics
May you live in interesting times... in News and Current Events	07 Mar 2025, 11:58 pm auntblabby
Interesting Video Game Videos in Games and Video Games	26 Mar 2025, 7:18 am Aspiegaming
Interesting Robert E. Howard/Conan article. in Art, Writing, and Music	Today, 12:48 am Kraichgauer
Cannes 2025 Lineup Starting To Take Shape; Interesting Films in Television, Film, and Video	20 Mar 2025, 4:51 pm AnonymousAnonymous

Interesting response on yahoo answers Post Reply New Topic

Interesting response on yahoo answers