I feel terrible

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I've always been troubled by this,
as it does seem wrong that a person
should not feel an attraction to ANYONE.
But, my tastes are my tastes, and if
something doesn't fall into that narrow
band, it just wouldn't work.

Hey Hey Suba,
if you aren't spending time with her in person, than you don't really know just *how* attracted to her you are. You should meet her, see how it goes, and if you still really can't get over her weight, than drop her. By the way, are we talking overweight (i.e., something that can usually be easily remedied with some discipline in diet and lifestyle), or obese, (something that will be really, really difficult, possibly impossibly so, for her to take care of?)
Anyhow, meet her and see what happens bro.

I agree with juliekitty, do NOT flat-out tell her she's fat, even if that's the truth and even if she is an aspie. There is such a thing as selective honesty. You can try saying indirect things like the others have suggested, but just telling her bluntly that she's fat will not help. She knows she's fat!

I once had a boyfriend, very likely an Aspie as well, who said that "the fact that I was the most attractive girl he's ever had made him feel terrible about himself." I lost all respect for him, it made him seem really shallow and insecure, and we didn't stay friends after I dumped him. I'm going to assume that if this girl is so perfect in every other way, you'll still want her as a friend even if you're not romantically linked... so don't spoil it!

so if you're not physically attracted to her... why not just hold off on the physical aspect of the relationship? get to know each other...

part of dating is sorting out these ideals.

you're worrying about something in the future. don't worry about it and it'll work itself out.

some part of you seems to enjoy her... so do it

From what I have gathered here, there's nothing I can do about the fact that my mind seems stuck on this, which I suppose I knew but didn't want to admit. Ben has an interesting point, and damocles has an interesting idea, so I think I'm going to try going with that general mindset. It's not that she's perfect in every other way(intelligence is slightly lacking, but I think that about pretty much everyone), but she loves me despite the fact that she has no obligation to, and I suppose that's what I'm looking for here. She could leave at any time, but she doesn't.

If you can't respect anyone for their
intellect, perhaps you're not only
not ready for her, but for anyone yet.

I believe that the Universe/God/Goddess <whatever> places these tripwires in our paths to make us having a good look at ourselves, and give us an opportunity to fix whatever we may not like about ourselves. In this case, a bias against obesity. In this case, I think you should explore how you feel about fat - Is it okay for men but not women? What if your boss was fat? Could you be buddies with a fat guy? Would you be ashamed to be with anybody fat? The idea is to discover everything that is there, bring it all out into the light where you can deal with it. Task #1 is research with yourself. I think. In my own humble opinion.

I really wouldn't advise overthinking this matter.

You don't have to have some kind of deep-rooted bias or mystical disharmony in order not to be physically attracted to a certain body type. You don't need to feel guilty over it, either.

I agree with gwenevyn. Sometimes you can't choose what you are attracted to. I wouldn't say it makes you shallow, more human.

On the physical front, I'm not as attracted to:
1. Blondes (don’t have a clue why)
2. Too thin around the waste, no curves
3. Breast that don't hang naturally (fake) and are too large like melons
4. If I'm honest I'm not really attracted to obese people, I like 10-16 dress size approx.

edit - Hold I’m not sure I go my dress sizes right. I need to know what an 18 looks like in UK dress size. It also depends on the height.

Here is a poem I wrote for you:

If your lover
Makes you run for cover
Don't hesitate;
Take away her plate!
If she argues, gets sad & mad,
Offer her salad - it don't taste bad!

I feel that the world around me is, almost entirely, filled with people less intelligent than I. I can either attribute this to my intelligence, or their ignorance. Everyone else tries using the former, but if I used the former, I'd become complacent. I am driven by the idea that I need to be more intelligent. Thus, I believe that the rest of the world is unintelligent, if you're looking for the psychological answer. Alternatively, I can give you the petulant genius answer that the world is filled with f*****g apathetic morons that don't study as much as they ought to because they're too obsessed with themselves, and I am naturally just gifted as f**k and know how to use it. Take your pick; I've used both before and wil luse both again