My gf seems to be bothered that I am 'white and privileged'.

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But is lauging at a dumb line a non-deep Schwarzenegger movie really that bad?

I dunno, it probably depends on what the line was.

I don't think so. Sometimes I laugh at the idea of something, even though I don't think the reality is funny. Or the way someone says something is amusing, but I don't find their actual joke so funny. Most people don't understand this. Sounds like you laughed because it was dumb, not because you agreed. Even she did, right? Then she felt bad later?

I guess you need her to explain what about it hurt her feelings. We can't help there.

eww. poor you having such ehm.. crap gf.

I'm wondering what movie it was...was it Predator?

Eject. Or, if you're a masochist, claim that she has NT privilege and isn't respecting your neurodiversity, that should turn out great.

Sounds like a headache.

My mistake. CRT is not exclusively related to African Americans, but holds pretty much that white people are the scum of the earth.

I’m not ignoring that the British did some horrible things or that racism isn’t an ongoing problem. But I’m not responsible for what my ancestors may or may not have done.

I get that she wants to be open-minded. But here’s the thing: she sees you as privileged, and she’s freely choosing to date you. That makes her a gold digger. You are her ticket out. If she really loves you and you love her, demonstrate what it means to be optimistic and hopeful. Show her what it’s like to be a winner. By dating you, she’s found her ideal mate and she’s not a victim. Excuse me, I meant to say by dating you she’s CHOOSING to not be a victim.

Now, if she’s never going to see things that way and she’s going to continue sponging off your privilege, it might be best to part ways. So you laugh at off color jokes. So what? You can’t live your life walking on eggshells around any romantic interest.

I’ve never dated outside my race. I was never interested in biracial dating long-term, but never exactly opposed to it. Besides that, I never had the opportunity. But I did date someone who was hypersensitive to all kinds of things. My jokes were never funny, everything I said was offensive. After a while she wondered why I never spoke to her, or gave one word answers to her questions. Or why I didn’t seem like the same person when we first met. We’ll, I guess I’m just never going to change. If you liked me when we first started dating, why try to change me? It just gets cruel after a while to hang on to a person like that when what they really need is for you to let them go. I’m not saying that’s where you are or that you should break up. I’m just saying don’t hesitate to consider her happiness when she might be unwilling to leave you but would be better off with someone else. If you can’t laugh at funny jokes or you’re always looking over your shoulder or generally can’t be yourself because it upsets her, you’re doing her a favor by cutting her loose.

I'm no expert on CRT but they may have a point.

Ever consider that you may also be a racist.

Last edited by txfz1 on 11 Feb 2022, 10:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

I may also be a redneck .

Tell her:

I’m white. Don’t use that against me. Just like I don’t use your indigenous background against you.

I acknowledge the past….but I’m not part of that past. Don’t pigeonhole me.

We’re people. You’re a supervisor. I’m not. You have privilege over me—I’m not getting on your butt because you have “supervisor privilege.”

Sounds like she’s in quite a mood…

I don’t like CRT when it’s taken too far. I feel like racism will perpetuate itself through this—by keeping people apart.

If my wife starts talking that “white privilege” crap, I’m leaving her. History is a fact….but I didn’t create the history.

Oh ok I can do that if it happens again. Thanks for the input.

Well, that's a strong statement. But...

Yeah your spouse shouldn't pull any race cards on you. That's manipulative in my eyes. And not a good sign. Unless you're like a member of kkk or something...which is clearly not the case. Its not a sign of respect, or love, more like control.

It's f****d up,( in a serious tone, not jokingly,) to be mad at somebody because they laughed at something on tv. Does not sound like they are any fun to be around.

I think it would really come down to the details. One might deeply love their partner as an individual and still be utterly oblivious to why something is deeply offensive to them and not everyone handles those sorts of corrections with grace and empathy.

If one is both insensitive and unwilling to improve when corrected about something that's demeaning to an entire group of people their partner is a member of all the love and respect for the partner as an individual doesn't negate that they're clearly comfortable with people like their partner being demeaned simply for being a member of that group.

Too often people (on here and elsewhere) complain about race cards when literally it's just people mentioning how their identity is relevant to their perspective and if that's the race card then the race card isn't a valid criticism at all and is just a dishonest deflection used to invalidate non-white perspectives.