Passive aggression, anyone?

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Where's the aggressive in that?

I figured that poisoning people
was rather the trait of the PA.

Seems not though.

Some of characteristics I read here, it seems to have a lot in common with Social Anxiety, and AS in particular, probably BPD and Bipolar (not really sure)

Wouldn't be aspies mistakingly be judged to be passively aggresive when they are just being aspies for failing in social situations and responding the way they can?

Where is this leading? Are you getting too fixated on this? Can you say that about just about anyone?

Passive aggressive is not a disorder. Sure there have been some quacks who have tried to ague it is. The term arose to describe non-compliant soldiers in WWII. Hardly normal circumstances. I would focus on the individual things rather than trying to ring fence. Such as Resentment, Anger, and so on.

It's nothing I obsess about. It's just a claim people make about me, and I'm trying to suss out the accuracy of it. It rings true primarily because I have difficulty expressing anger appropriately.

well isn't all the DSM IV just a catalogue on how to spot and 'treat' those with the disorders that render people non compliant? I mean, they didn't research people because of altruistic impulses, you know. Psychiatry and psychology are all based on how to make people more perfectly conform to the norm.

Sure it comes under DSM III which means it is not classified as a disorder or a personality at all. There are some pretty controversial things in the DSM. A diagnosis is only every a question of clinical judgment. One has to question what is the purpose of a grouping such as 'passive aggressive' when it can so easily fall under anything or indeed 'normal' behaviour.

I would take it just as an attempt by these people to try and understand you. For instance you might be an avoidant person. Some things might make you feel uncomfortable. You might have to do things to try and get out of these situations. Does this mean you are 'passive aggressive'? no. Does it mean that you might feel frustrated and angry at having to do this? Possibly.

You could say I was acting in passive aggressive way when I was working in an open plan office. But even psychiatrist advised it was not a suitable place for me to work.

The problem with these people saying that is it puts no onus on them. They can use it as an excuse, for themselves not meeting you half way.

Do you think people just spontaneously wake up one morning and say that guy is passive aggressive? Of course not. Somebody gets rubbed up the wrong way and as it happens is bitter and resentful about it. Then they go and tell other people that this subject is bitter and resentful.

But the fact of the matter that your really not sure and your interested enough to want to find out tells me that your not really passive aggressive.

‘Passive Aggressive’ is the biggest load of blanket psychobabble there is. But even so you could say that that I’m even more PA that you, as I’m making such an issue out of it and being defensive. Your right not to make an issue out of it, it doesn’t even deserve a mention.

I don't have passive aggression. If I had passive aggression, I could turn it around and be a bad boy and espressos my aggression.

But I am not hateful or angry, I am logically minded. What am I to do, make a fuss about someone occidentally stepping on my toes. I am only good at nit picking about scientific fact but that does not interest the NTs.

but you miss the point of my comment which was :The point of all psychiatry and psychology is to make the non compliant conform

Last edited by sinsboldly on 12 Aug 2007, 6:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, that's true, but a bit of an overstatement. Most of the DSM literature requires that a condition must cause functional impairment in order to meet a diagnostic code. If you're somewhat crazy, but you still hold down your job and family life ok, you're not generally a candidate for treatment, and wouldn't likely ever seek it anyway. It's only when you struggle at work or with finances or relationships that a disorder is present. This caveat still falls under your statement - functional impairment isn't the norm, and the goal of treatment is a return to the norm - but the scope of what's considered disordered isn't indefinite.

This only pertains to psychiatry. Psychologists are a whole different ball game.

Hmm, reminds me that homosexuality used to be in the DSM. And it fit the criterion in a way - it did cause functional impairment, but only because of the attitudes of the majority.

Maybe Asperger's will get taken out of the DSM one day? Maybe it's only in there for the same reason?

I didn't miss your point, I just don't think it true that all psychiatry and psychology is intended to make a non compliant conform.

My psychologist never made me conform. I've met some narcissistic psychiatrists in my time, but not all of them are like that.

I don't understand the idea of "passive aggressive"

it's an oxymoron.

You're either...

passive
or
aggressive

How can you be both at the same time?

I am very confrontational and assertive when it comes to problem solving. I am not violent or physical, unless there is someone who needs to be punished for a wrong-doing. If another man intentionally humilates me, I will become aggressive and fight them for my honor. I'm very primitive when it comes to things like that.

When I say assertive and confrontational, I mean that I try to resolve conflicts out in the open with people through negotiation and compromise. When I try to correct the innappropriate or selfish behaviour of others, I will be blunt with people, often to the point of being offensive. I don't do this to hurt others, I do this to teach them how to think and behave, through the "no-bullsh*t" way my parents taught me.

I found this,

"I keep them in my purse and when I feel that either of the statements are true, I hold them up to my head. It lets me be really aggressively passive aggressive and it lets boyfriend think he can read my thoughts."

ok, if you don't BS around about your agression, then you are not passive agressive.

if you hide your agression, say, just 'forget' to pick up the groceries for your mom because she was so unfair to your sister the other day, that is hiding your agression to your mom and just using BS to pretend you 'forgot'.

so you are passive (i.e. don't blow up at her) agressive (get back at her by not being someone she can count on, but she can't BLAME you for it, cause you just 'forgot') in other words. . . a WEASLE!