Has anyone else reached "paradox stage"?

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I am not like my NT Geek friend who has lots of spare time. I have interests. I want to finish my affiliate websites, I want to read novels, I want to continue to study, I want to start an open-source project. I want to do so much. I logically; do not want to have someone draining my time and money because I don’t have much of either.

When did I even need someone to talk to, because I don’t. Sex isn’t such a big deal as to change my lifestyle. So logically, I don’t want a girlfriend.

Chronic loneliness is so painful and unpleasant that it stops me from really enjoying the things I would like otherwise enjoy. So I have spend to much time trying to find someone and going to places and time and money doing that.

I am forced to find an NT girlfriend, it isn’t something I logically want. I am mother natures slave.

I'm sure she'll feel great about that, when you find one.

The "paradox phase" also goes by another name: dating.

bwah ha ha ha ha!

hahaha, very true.

Although that's still not to say it isn't different for us aspies.

The problems involved are different.

Personally I find that I don't have a lot of trouble sparking that initial interest, girls seem to think I'm quirky, which they think is cute at first, but after that they start to realise it's not just quirky and things sorta head downhill from there.

When the batchelor is ready, the wife will appear...

What does that mean?

It means someone is a fatalist.

I've never had a proper relationship, so I can't really say I've had a procession of failed ones. What I can say is that my blundering and ill-judged choices when it comes to fancying people have led me nowhere fast, and it's that which I'm most tired of.

Right now I'd prefer never to be infected with the love virus again. It's caused my system to crash quite enough, thanks.

I'm ready to fall in love and to stay there.

I'm not sure anyone stays there.

My parents have been married more than thirty years, an though theirs is not a relationship I would wish to emulate. . . they've always told me that one falls in and out of love, and that being in love all the time, besides being impossible, is not what a good relationship is about.

Whatever else their screwups may be, this seems pretty right to me.

I'm there, I mean I'm always there
Wanting to want to be with someone
But at the same time hating the idea
I've been single mostly forever with my last relationship attempt in 2001
I won't even try in fear of failure
I almost like being untouchable
Is anyone else like this?

I loved my last girlfriend, or at least I believed I did, and I thought she did too, until she decided to fall for another guy she knew for barely a month, because, after four years, "relationships aren't that important after all".

No matter what I do, I can't find that happiness on my own. I wouldn't call myself desperate, as I'm not trying to score with every woman I see; in fact, I've grown quite fearful of women and I try to reciprocate as little as possible. I don't think it's possible to be content with normality once you've tasted something better, the same way the "friends" thing after breaking up doesn't work. In some cases, it's better not to have loved at all. I need that stability. I have to feel I'm going towards something, even if it is the next time she talks about herself and I can forget about whatever is bothering my conscience at that moment. I can't stand being trapped in my mind. My thoughts hurt me like a disease.

I have no idea how to find someone else. I don't know where to look nor how to approach it. Worse, I'm sure I would feel like I was betraying my ex, even if she's been with the guy she left me for these last eleven months. She admitted to me she was happier in the past, but in the end they all come down to the same things: he has friends, he's getting a degree, he's got no emotional baggage, he's got more money, he's in good terms with his family and he's got even a vacation house in England. I'm a schizoid/aspie with unmanageable anxiety and major depression. She calls me to talk every three days, and those days I can't sleep and I feel like a total failure.

Right now I would trade every good thing about myself for a level of happiness I can rest on.