My Online Dating Guide for Men With Asperger's

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This is my YouTube if you want to subscribe. I'll be uploading more soon, just been very busy lately:

https://youtube.com/@advancedaspergerslifestyle6448

I didn't realize until I saw a few women mention it in their profiles that "guys posting photos of them with the fish they caught" had become an online dating cliche.

I was mildly disturbed when a guy commented that showing off a big fish he caught was one of the few times he felt he could smile. Guys who think that way have some serious issues they need to sort out before dating anyone. "I can't smile unless I'm holding something I won or killed" is toxic masculinity at it's one of its lowest points.

On the other hand, if you really like fishing and you want to meet a woman who also really likes fishing, posing with your catch of the day does make a lot of sense.

Your advice on photos is spot on. Also, trial and error is key. You may need to take 400 photos to get 6 great ones.

I'd argue that having 1 (good) selfie can work if the other photos aren't selfies. But like you said, most are bad, and you probably need to take 100 of them to get 1 great one.

Regarding the bio, it may depend on what you're looking for. For shorter term dating, you may want to avoid politics/religion. But if you're looking for something long-term, and something is fundamental to you, you may want to include it to filter out people who are incompatible.

Yes. Ideally, Set up a date within 3 days of matching. And no longer than a week.

A lot of guys make the mistake of trying to chat for 1-2 weeks before asking her out. Why spend weeks talking to someone only to realize you don't have any chemistry with them in person.

Even a week is a long time in online dating. By then, she could be messaging 20 other matches and dating someone else.

A friend of mine (straight woman) told me that she wishes more men would ask her on dates.
There are guys who want to invite women over the same night for hookups.
There are guys who want to chat for weeks, but are too shy to make a move.
But where are the men that want to take women out on a date?

Are there some women who prefer not to meet soon? Yes. But for every one of them, there are 1-2 women who do want to meet in the first 3 days?

^ If both approaches are equally viable, go with the quicker one because it saves time.

I haven't tried online dating yet, although I set up a Facebook Dating profile but everyone is telling me to STAY AWAY from dating apps even though I personally know people who have had success with online dating

This guide is very helpful even though I am not a man!

I think I would be scared to join a dating site.

Was thinking about why I don't find a date and it could partly be because I rarely meet other people other than in passing.

Actually for Autistic people, that is the VERY REASON why they should do online dating!

Because we can't get out that often online dating apps make it possible to meet a lot of people!

You just have to be careful about scams and catfishing like anything else on the Internet

Before you actually start talking to people and going on dates make sure the dating app properly vets and screens the users so you can safely weed out the fakes and scammers!

I spent much of this year trying first one then another popular dating website. I even did something I hadn't done before and paid for a basic membership. Ended up a big waste of time, money, and energy.

The only conversation initiated by a woman to confirm that my profile stating I was childfree meant I was absolutely unwilling to ever have children. (Protip: anyone who describes themselves as "childfree" considers that set in stone otherwise they wouldn't use the term.) Which was a shame since we otherwise seemed like a potentially good match. The only message I sent that got a response was with someone local who stopped responding, presumably out of disinterest, after a few messages. Not a strong match, but one of the few local matches. Between the two sites I probably found less than ten women that seemed worth messaging at all, albeit a few that seemed very promising. None of those intriguing profiles replied at all.

I've done online dating on-and-off now for about 15 years. I've gotten one really amazing date from it (with someone I probably would have ended up meeting later without the aid of online dating), and very little else. I've basically got a 1% chance of meeting someone in person that has dating potential and a 1% chance of meeting someone online that has dating potential, and that's not a meaningful increase in my chances.

Underscoring all that is the feeling that, not only have I always had trouble meeting women who interest me, it now feels like I'm at the point where any woman I'm interested is better off with somebody else. I know somebody who broke up with her longtime boyfriend a few years ago. I was interested in her, but after a long conversation one day I concluded I wasn't really a good match for her even if we had some chemistry and shared interests, so I never told her I was interested. A few months later she tried online dating, met someone local within a few weeks, and they're such a great match we're all expecting them to get engaged any time now. He's a good guy, and honestly she's better off with him than she could have ever been with me. I've got another friend who got married a couple years ago that I had a longtime interest in, which she knew about but didn't reciprocate. From meeting her husband and hearing her talk about the relationship, again I can honestly say she's better off with him than she could have ever been with me.

The plain fact of the matter is whether you have autism or not, if you are a man and you cannot get dates in real life, you almost certainly won't be able to get dates on line.

Paying acts as a multiplier to how many matches you get. If you already get a decent amount of matches, paying helps you get more. But if you're not getting matches, paying won't help.

A better investment is to pay for a photographer to take great photos for your profile. (Or if you have the time to learn photography, get a good camera and take some yourself).

Then pay once you're already getting matches on the free apps.

If you aren't getting matches/dates, it's for one reason: your pictures are bad.

Have you tried all of the tips in this guide?
Have you taken hundreds of pictures?
Do you pay attention to the lighting when you take pictures?
Have you sent your pictures to people (who are good at photography) for honest feedback?