Simps Will Ruin Dating For Everyone In 5 Years

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I don’t feel we’re in danger of an influx of guys who shower women with gifts.

More guys than before are doing the dishes, though

Only time will tell if that actually happens.

Since neither you nor I use dating apps, neither you nor I are fully aware of social trends in the realm of people who use dating apps.


That's an unalloyed GOOD development, IMO.

I feel like dating will be what it always was: a sort of game that many people avoid in its fullest form.

I was on the periphery of the “singles scene” when I was younger. And the people who post here about dating say similar things (and sometimes identical things), and have similar theories, as their 70s/80s brethren. It’s an example of “the more things change, the more they stay the same.”

Really????

What kind of "singles scene" are you talking about? Singles bars, specifically? Or something else?

Singles bars were somewhat similar to today's dating apps, insofar as they were another predominantly male, looks-oriented scene. (Looks-oriented because how else are you going to decide which total stranger to approach or make eye contact with?) But only a small minority of people went to singles bars -- which, if I recall correctly, had a very bad reputation as a place to meet people. Bad for (heterosexual) men because it was unlikely they would ever find anyone there, and bad for women for safety reasons.

Anyhow, where were you encountering these theories?

I never encountered them until recently. They are utterly contrary to the popular wisdom when I was younger. Back then, I don't recall anyone generalizing from the behavior of men and women in singles bars to the behavior of men and women in society as a whole.

Anyhow, it seems to me that the rise of today's dating apps has radically changed a lot of people's approach to dating and relationships, and not for the better. I am under the impression (correct me if I'm wrong) that many more people use today's dating apps than ever went to singles bars back in the day. That being the case, dating apps are having a significant impact on modern Western dating culture as a whole, in a way that singles bars never did.

OnlyFans is perhaps the single biggest factor ruining the dating market.

Yeah, there seems to be some "I Can't Get a Date" vibe running through this thread, what with men blaming women for their own lack of dating success.

Face it, men; if you want to attract women, then you first must be attractive to women.  If you cannot or will not make the effort, then some other man will.

Man up or shut up.

And It isn't that they are ugly or short or don't have as much money as the next guy...the reason they can't get a date is that they have nothing else to offer...because they spend too much time pissing and moaning about how life owes them something then throwing tantrums or ranting on social media about it. Because we all know how attractive that behavior is right? /sarcasm

Really? How?

OnlyFans isn't even a dating site/app. It's a content subscription service.

A lot of the content on OnlyFans happens to be porn, but how does that impact dating, exactly? By affecting how men view women? If so, what specific kinds of effects do you have in mind?

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 25 Dec 2022, 1:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

@Mona

Men who went to “singles bars” spoke about the “singles scene.”

I knew guys who went to “single bars,” and they would sprout forth theories as to why they were having difficulty finding love. I’ve seen some of those theories here—including the 20% of men date 80% women thing.

You probably never heard these because they wouldn’t have mentioned this sort of thing to a woman.

I’m certainly NOT saying that men were generally like that—but that men who considered themselves in the “singles scene” could be like that. But only among other men.

I never went to “singles bars” because I knew I had “no chance” in them. Remember what I said about the “side door?”

You probably hung around with people who were too classy to frequent “singles bars.” I wasn’t in a social circle as a young man that was really classy.

If you recall the show “Threes Company,” there was a character, a friend of Jack Tripper, who was a caricature of the type of man who frequented “singles bars.” The bar in the show, the Regal Beagle, was sort of like a “singles bar.”

You know, sometimes you say things I find very agreeable.

I DO feel the frustrations of these men. I had times when I had difficulty finding dates. My solution was to not think about finding dates.

Subscribing to “theories” which account for their “lack of success” is a useless exercise. It won’t help you in your pursuit of love. Most likely, it will make the situation worse.

Men don’t have to be Adonises (or Chads). I realized that I had to shove my desperation into the background, and think about other things other than “the pursuit of a date.”

I don’t believe men have to “hit the gym.” I “hit the gym” in an intense way once; this did not increase my attractiveness to women.

It’s better to show that you can be autonomous, and not seem like they depend upon the presence of a girlfriend in order to be happy.

One place that proved 'Lucky' for me was not a bar, club, or pub; but a coin-op laundromat.

There was something about being seen sorting laundry, measuring out my own soap and bleach, running the machines, and then doing my own fluff-and-fold routine that impressed some of the women around me.  I did not start going there with the desire or expectation to find a date, but when women approached me and expressed surprise that a man was doing a household chore, the encounter usually led to conversation over coffee or lunch.
Or breakfast!
It did not happen every time, but it happened more often than through church.

Sounds like they need to put laundry day on their dating profiles if there's that much assumption that if they don't see a guy at the laundromat that either his mom or his wife is washing / drying his clothes.

Those theories may well have been accurate for the (heterosexual) singles bar scene itself, though not for society at large. If only a small minority, likely around 20%, of the people who went to singles bars were women, then of course the relatively few women there had their pick of the men, and of course the vast majority of men there would have been left out in the cold. But this was true only in specific subcultures such as the singles bar scene, not in society as a whole.


Depends how you define "classy," I guess.

Back then I was into the S&M/kink scene, a subculture that was far more stigmatized than the straight vanilla singles bar scene. The S&M/kink scene, similarly, had a very high male-to-female ratio. But, because we all knew we were freaks, most of us didn't try to generalize from our own experiences to society as a whole.


Never watched it.

I don’t believe in those “theories,” by the way. Obviously, they did not apply to the society at large.

For a lot of guys (myself included), "dating" is code for "sex."

10 years ago, it was relatively easy to find sex partners online.

Fast forward to today. When it's possible to make a living by selling content on Only Fans (without ever meeting up with anyone), it takes away the incentive to go out and have sex.