The importance of looks

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Sure looks like one. Looks like Larry Laffer from Leisure Suit Larry.

It’s a hell of a lot more complex than “looks.”

“Looks” only helps initially sometimes.

I’m not all that great-looking. I’m short, sometimes fat, don’t dress that great, don’t talk that great.

What I have….is the attitude that: “So what I’m not a model-looking guy. I demand to be respected as a human being. I listen to what the other person is saying. I seek to meet the person halfway. I’m not a lesser person because I’m autistic. Screw what the statistics say. I’m not a statistic. I am me.”

What’s the use of a thread which falsely tells people they “don’t have a chance” because they aren’t good-looking? That’s a load of bullcrap. I MADE myself “have a chance” by knowing that I’m “just as viable” a person as some jock or Chad. I didn’t listen to the bullcrap other people were telling me….that I’ll never get a girlfriend because I’m a nerd, a wimp, or whatever. I didn’t listen to that garbage/rubbish. All this “looks” crap is high school locker room crap.

This is why I, after a while, I didn’t even try to go to bars and other such venues. I had no chance in these places. I thought of alternatives. I actually met people on the subway, and sometimes we even had a relationship.

If you’re not in the mainstream, why bother with the mainstream? Go the alternative route, like I did.

I succeeded with very smart people who weren’t necessarily 10s in the looks department—but who had other virtues. Some of the most attentive women in bed, and ones who looked gorgeous “down there,” were really not good-looking at all. But they smelled nice, had nice voices, were intelligent in conversation, and had many appealing aspects outside of physical looks.

What I’m trying to say, in relating my experience, is that most people who go about their lives might fantasize about some model or other—but who they truly love and want to have kids with are “regular” people, not the “model ideal.” This is proven time and again if one bothers to circulate amongst actual people.

"10s" of any gender are rare.
People who feel attraction to each other can be met much more often.

We aren’t all the same. We like and look for different things. “Ladies” are not a homogeneous group.

Even people who aren’t stereotypically attractive often end up in relationships, sometimes with people who are considered more attractive than they are.

I’m demisexual and do not experience physical attraction. I don’t really get it.

Looks certainly help initially and I think to a fair extent throughout any relationship. Looking after ones health is always one less point if discontent to have to deal with. Even people with unattractive faces can make up for it with their bodies.

My own dad got jaded with my mother and her "letting herself go" was a big part of it. They're now divorced. Body insecurities and others judging the looks of a partner is hard enough to deal with, yet alone when it's all self-inflicted and brought into the bedroom. That's a massive attraction killer right there. Even if there are no insecurities poor looks can still be off-putting long term.

There are people who would read this thread, think they are unattractive, then think to themselves that they have “no chance.”

You find this sort of thinking a lot on this Site.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

I was shallow when I started dating my wife, but when I realized just how much effort you have to put in to keep a relationship alive, you start to focus on your social skills a whole lot more.

Another thing to remember: there are many types of “good looks.” Most of these “other types of good looks” don’t resemble what is stereotypically “good-looking.”