I once had a partner that would do things like:
Encourage me to buy things for myself "cos I deserved it", and wouldn't let me spend money on them, even though I'd surprise them with stuff anyways - but any time we fought it was "you only spend money on yourself and won't spend a dime on me!" - despite me actively trying to do the opposite, and their insistence on the situation (none of the money in question was theirs, btw, it was my money)
Insisted on me buying a specific car, and then endlessly complained about the car that "I" picked.
There was an instance where I was too tired to go to some event that she was more than welcome to go to without me, so she screamed at me and left, saying she was done with me. After five minutes of me staying home rather than chasing her down, she storms back in, screams "why are you acting like this?!" This was my apartment, before she moved in with me.
Complained that the computer that I built / gave her was a "POS that never worked", while mine was always "in tip-top shape" - but then complained that my computer was also a "POS that never worked" when I let her use it. (both computers ran fine, but mine was faster - they crashed cos we were playing modded pc games on windows XP in 2005)
Would ask me to do stuff for her (which I did) - but if I did it right away, she didn't mean "right now" and "didn't appreciate being treated like a slave-driver" - yet if I took more than a minute to go do it, she'd scoff in disgust and make comments about having to do it herself while storming off to do it angrily.
Would lose her temper and break only my stuff, but if I raised my voice even a little bit in response, I was the worst person in the universe, and she would break even more stuff. Then blame me for why we don't have any stuff.
It got kinda ridiculous at the end - she basically responded to me saying "pleases stop cheating on me" (she was cheating on me) by telling me "don't tell me what to do!" and trying to make it sound like I was controlling her life. She basically implied that if I really wanted to be with her, I'd do even more for her, and then she wouldn't have to cheat.
Within a week or so of that we were separated. A few weeks later she called me for help (money). She got furious when I said "no".
There was no way to "win" in any of these situations. Nothing was going to "convince" her that she was wrong. Last I heard, they're still the same way. Even if I had "given the more", it still wouldn't have been enough. Keeping me believing that I "wasn't enough" was part of their shtick to keep me with them.
This would not be the first, or last, nutter I'd ever had to deal with.
I am quite fluent in fu*kery in it's various flavors. I tend to let it linger in my life more than I should. I'm starting to learn better. I'm getting too old for this kinda bullsh*t.
Once is an accident.
Twice is a coincidence.
Thrice is a pattern.
24 Feb 2023, 8:38 am
