Dad Bods

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That not having a dad body is hot to lot of women.

Were you also seen as stable, supportive, lovable and kind in addition to being hot?

When I was a bit overweight my partner mainly praised my personality traits, so I kind of felt like "OK, I guess my body shape isn't that important to her". But then as my weight dropped she began to increasingly compliment my looks and body instead. It's like she didn't care what kind of body shape I had until I suddenly got a good body shape, after which it became important to keep it ...

Not mutually exclusive, but difference of emphasis.

Sounds like it gave something extra on top of the other traits to enjoy.

I should make a thread in which I list all the traits in me she does not enjoy ...

The thread is about men. I rarely observe young average-slim women dating men who are heavyset. It's just my observation. Heavset men tend to attract similar shaped women.

However, I do notice that short/heavset women do/can have taller skinnier male partners.

It's interesting you call this confirmation bias? I would have thought it's common sense?

When I was younger and looking for a partner (back in the late 1980s/1990s) a number of my female peers would often speak about having "principles" that sound very similar to your own values. e.g.
- never judge a book by the cover
- its what's on the inside that matters
- Some of the nicest people I know are overweight etc etc...(you get the general drift)
- money/clothes isn't everything
- love is all that matters

I noticed 5 things about these same peers
1. In a peer group there is always 1-2 overweight friends. Among my male peers the general consensus that in a bar or nightclub that average-attractive women feel they stand out more when they have a few less attractive peers in their group (like a rose among the thorns),
2. The female peers would say that women should not objectify themselves as that lowers their standards. Yet the same women would wear revealing outfits that leave little to the imagination. Their response to that is contradictory "just because a woman chooses to wear a tiny skirt doesn't mean they want male attention"....in my brain that's just dissonance
3. God I hate "chads", they are so superficial. Same women end up marrying Chad "types" with lots of money
4. She's acts so superficial and immature....but they don't realise they behave/act the same way in bars/pubs/workplace
5. I am sure you will meet somebody who loves you. Same women friendzone me and sleep with every other Chad male they hookup with.

Sure! my experiences might be unique to me. That might be possible. Yet....I keep hearing the same stories from other men in the current generation. Over and over and over again. hmmmmmm

Last edited by cyberdad on 03 Mar 2023, 5:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Your wife sounds like she was using operant conditioning to get you into shape

This is about female preferences pertaining to male bodies. Women are free to comment about their preferences even if it disagrees with your preconceived notions.

I like men who are good dads.

Body optional.

My daughter says all her friends in their 20's like men with "dad bods", probably because they were all abandoned by their idiot fathers when they were growing up. I don't mean to imply that they want to sleep with their fathers. Don't go there. I mean that they miss having a "dad-looking man" around to give them a sense of security and look out for their best interest, because they never had that growing up.

From my own observations "liking" and expressing a "like" does not actually mean they will actually end up dating men with "dad bods"

In psychology you can't rely on what people say as often people's actions don't correlate with their expressed views (for example I support lowering emissions but I choose to drive a gas guzzling cadillac and leave my lights on day and night.)

But a lot of women do date men with less than stereotypically perfect bodies. I've certainly done so.

Huh. I guess I have a bit more integrity. I don't think one thing but do another. If I express an interest in something yes or no, I can be held at my word. Yes means yes. No means no. I like _______ , means I like ________.

Of course I wouldn't ONLY look for a man with a dad bod, but all other factors being equal (personality, compatability, etc.), it would be my preference over someone with rock hard muscles, anyway. Normal muscles are great, but I think many dads have normal muscles so it's the same thing.

My daughter and her friends generally date other women. The few who date men are with men with dad bods, whatever that means exactly, because that's they type of men they like.

Hmm, my Dh is a dad. And a grandpa. He is very skinny. When he was very young he had slightly more muscle, so could have been described as “wirey” I was never interested in the body builder type. Always liked them lean. Fortunately Dh likes um, let’s call me “curvy”

My dad is fat. He has been fat for a long time, but he was a football player when he was young, and had a few trim years around the time my first child was born. Both of my grandfathers were fat when I knew them.

My sil is also a dad. We refer to him as DD’s trophy husband as he is very attractive. But he is also not the body builder type, more tall and lean.

My other Dd seems to go for shortish “dad bod” types.

My girls are both basically shorter versions of me. One a little thinner, one heavier on the curves but far more athletic.

So there is some randomness for you.

What’s wrong with glasses?

I don't disagree with what you are saying. But I highlighted the key word.

I think you are both missing my actual point. Like goes for like. That's a psychological fact.

Yes plenty of men have dad bods when they get married. But then their wives tend to be broadly in same ball park when it comes to their own body shape.

I've been around longer than the other posters here and my observation is that its rare to get younger (18-30) average-slim female with a visibly overweight man.

As a guide average-slim are the two left hand images (not the two right)

My DD’s and I are not slim.

One grandmother was built like me when she married, but at the time that grandfather was rail thin.

The other was slim, but that grandfather was already fat.

My mom is left of slim.

Where is the like with like?

(You’ve got a year on me oh sage elder)