Do we crush harder than NTs?

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Not crushes, but I had this problem with my other special interests at one point. I developed a legitimate addiction to my special interest. I wonder how common an issue this is for ASD folk.

It should be treated as an addiction imo, because at some point that is what it becomes. Mine was so bad I got legitimate withdrawals that made me want to kermit.

I'd assume it would have the same therapeutic and pharmaceutical treatment as any other OCD or perseveration.

I resolved my obsession/addiction without professional involvement, so idk. It took my brain like two years to go back to normal though..... I remained in a continual state of severely depressed until that point.

Oh for sure people can do it on their own.
I just meant if they weren't able, or if it was severely affecting their life. ^
My daughter has this issue a bit.
She's always had obsessive "people interests", so I know what you're all referring to.

I've only been obsessed with dead people, myself.
I mean authors and artists from other centuries.

I went ahead and started a separate thread on this topic. I'm curious how common an experience it is for ASD/neurodivergent folk.

We tend to have bigger heads so, maybe.

Gravity is fun.

My head's small for my size.

Last edited by Joe90 on 16 Apr 2023, 4:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I crush like a hydraulic press.

I've only had one crush in my life & it was extremely intense. She was my special interest & I was very obsessed. She very likely literally has no clue I even exist & the crush may of been a little bit of a delusional disorder like Erotomania. It faded a bit when I got in my 2nd relationship but came back rite after that relationship ended after half a year. The crush faded again some when I got in my current relationship 11 years ago but the crush is still there some. All three relationships I've had were all very intense as well & I was very obsessed with them during & after the 1st two relationships ended until I got in another relationship. I'm still obsessed with my current but very luckily we've been living together for over 10 years now so it's a lot easier to manage.

What were some of the things you did to resolve it?

My mum once knew a boy with ADHD who had got an obsessive sexual crush on her. While expelled from school (due to bad behaviour) and being at home a lot, he used his time to spy on the house my mum lived in at the time, and when everyone had gone out he found ways to break in just to steal her shoes. He didn't steal anything else; not money or expensive gadgets, just my mum's shoes. To cut a long story short, he finally got found out and the police searched his room and found all of my mum's shoes under his bed, arranged very neatly. He was tested for drugs but was clear. It wasn't drugs that was making him do these things, it was the demands of an obsession with impulses that he found hard to resist. He admitted it all to the police and to his parents and accepted help. He said he didn't like his obsession but found it hard to control himself, because he was feeling depressed, lonely and frustrated by being expelled from school. He was only 14 at the time.

I understand that feeling. While I never broke into people's houses, I still got obsessions that were difficult to resist. When your mind is 100% occupied with an obsession, it's like a computer that's infected with malware. All my thoughts were taken up with the obsession I had at the time and I acted on impulse, like not being able to do anything until I have spoken to him, so any opportunity I had of him noticing me I didn't waste, even if it meant making an embarrassing nuisance of myself. I wasn't unaware of the social cues though, it was just I couldn't resist the urge. I had to do it, I had to go through hell and high water just to see my crush for 2 seconds, whether he liked it or not. I just had to. I nearly got into trouble with the police but being a girl they seemed to pass it off as a 'teenage obsession'. And it did pass. I wouldn't call it a special interest, because it took a hold of me and I didn't enjoy it at all. So if it wasn't exactly classed as a special interest as such then I can say that I have never really had a special interest before.

^^^Do you have an idea of what kind of help they gave that boy Joe What your describing of him & yourself sounds to me like it could be sever OCD. Your case reminds me of myself when crushing & being in a relationship. I'm on a med for OCD that helps my OCD in other ways & I'm also on an antipsychotic to prevent meltdowns & irritability but the meds didn't seem to have an effect on my obsessing & crushing on my gf nor my crush. Talking about it just goes round & round in circles. At this point I kinda accepted that the crush will last the rest of my life & I kinda learned to live with the pain of not being with her. At least practicing avoidance helps some. Focusing on my girlfriend helps a bit as well. It's like I'm under the effects of a drug.

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It is not possible to measure the intensity of a crush.

You are just one person. (n=1) is not a representative sample. Other autistics might have stronger or weaker crush intensities than you.

There is no way for someone to communicate objectively the intensity of a crush.

Not a controlled experiment.

In your situation, maybe the other person just did not find you attractive. If and when someone finds you attractive, maybe they will get an intense crush.

Different people find different things attractive. Just like some people like apples, some people like bananas, and some people like mangos.

If nobody has a crush on you, that does not show/prove/mean anything about you.

Some people with a lot of friends, or people that are attractive to others, are not always as great as they appear.

I sure did as a youngster.
I mean, I still have developed intense feelings for someone but as a pre-teen or teen, it was completely over the top.
I had zero means of controlling my feelings and zero ways to parlay them into any kind of confidence.
I couldn't muster up the courage to talk to someone, or if I did, of course I sounded and acted like a giant dork, and the usual responses embarrassed me no end.

I've since learned how to navigate a little better but even my wife says I looked like a lovesick puppy when I first met her in 1984. Ah well, it only took fourteen years of pining away for her and one failed marriage each for her to finally give me a chance

I was a goner the moment I laid eyes on her.
And you know what? It wasn't just how attractive she was, it was her vibe man, her vibe...
She was real, she was what computer people call WYSIWYG, "What You See Is What You Get".

She said what she meant and she meant what she said, no masks, no games, no guile, no deceit, she felt like a real person, which made her so approachable it was like a force of nature to me.
I knew right away she was really something.

Yes.