When do you have to be most experienced

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I slept on the floor often because of visiting relatives. One time my aunt reassured me that she and my uncle wouldn’t do it in my bed. Good to know, I guess.

My parents always told me if I had a nightmare and went to their room hoping to get in bed with them for comfort, I'd have to sleep on the floor. I guess I learned not to ask.

I have a weird memory though. One time I was allowed in their bed for some reason, but my mother said I'd have to sleep upside down with my head at their feet in between them. I always wonder wtf that was about.

^ I could never get bed with my parents either when I had a nightmare or was scared. I was just allowed to sleep on the floor.

There is no set age.  However, most people seem to develop adequate social skills before the age of 10.

Your results may vary.

Power dynamics? Who has more power--an autistic person or an NT person? A richer person or a poorer person? What if the older person is the poorer, autistic one? Age isn't everything, any more than race is. Those who judge only by race are racists. Those who judge only by sex are sexists. Those who judge only by age are ageists.

I don't expect you to change your stance. I just ask you to not be so offensive in expressing it.

I can express myself as I please as long as I’m not breaking the rules, and I’m not. I’m not ageist but you are free to think that. You’ll just have to deal with the fact that we disagree.

I never said that I judge people only by age. I never said that age was everything. Just because someone is young doesn’t mean they’d be okay, either. I have nothing against older people. I just wouldn’t date them for reasons I’ve already stated. I’ve observed and experienced too many age-related issues in relationships - predatory behavior, grooming, and other weirdness - for me to consider having one with a much older or much younger person. There are often other disparities in such relationships which I won’t go into.

Yes, I still think it’s creepy to date someone who could have kids or grandkids who are the same age. That’s not going to change, and that doesn’t make me ageist. If I’m ever older and single, I will only date people who are relatively close to my age, as I do now.

At this point of my life, I wouldn’t date someone in their 20’s or 50’s. I also wouldn’t date everyone whose age was within acceptable parameters. I have other criteria/standards.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 24 May 2023, 6:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think saying it's creepy is a little insulting though, even though you're entitled to your opinions. No you're not ageist for thinking that.

People can choose not to take it personally since it was a general statement that was directed at no one. Obviously, not everyone shares my viewpoint.

Good. Wish that applied to me as well though.

Anyway I won't derail Chris's thread. I like Chris.

Quite often, the relationships people have when they are young are unsatisfying, disappointing, or even tumultuous/abusive. I think no experience is better than bad experiences.

You can’t change the past but maybe you’ll find someone in the near future who’ll be worth the wait.

Interestingly, I've twice encountered situations where young guys in their 20s fell for women in their 50s. The first guy I didn't know too well, he was just one of many work colleagues and he fell for a fellow work colleague who also happened to be his landlady and was referred to by familiar colleagues as Aunty.

The second case I knew both well as we stayed at the same boarding establishment at first. Although surprised at first to see them holding hands as he was 25 and she was 50, I accepted it. They were both friends of mine. I was one of the two witnesses at their wedding at a tiny church called the Liberal Catholics and we were the only guests.

They stayed married until she passed away age 81 although for a number of years he'd been complaining to me how he gaslighted her (he was an industrial psychologist with a university, so very academic), belittled her and also began an extramarital affair with another older woman. She had grown up children but preferred to confide in me about these issues. I once found online how he was thanking this other woman for all the support she was giving him.

So its not the age difference that's in any way creepy but an affair with an older married woman whilst still living with his wife but seemingly treating her as a mother figure and not really liking to be seen in public with her anymore. Wanting her there, but having his cake iced both sides...

Viewing a spouse as a mother or father figure is gross.

Different people find different things creepy. Some are less bothered by age differences than I am.

Back to the original post, I don’t think the difference between 27 and 41 is especially problematic. Of course, it would depend on the individuals involved.

I feel the same about adult babies (grown adults dressing up as babies and acting more like babies than actual babies do), but I get flack online if I express my opinion on it.

^ We aren’t allowed to talk about sexual fetishes on WP.

I wasn’t referring to a fetish. I was responding to a comment in enviro’s post about real behavior/attitudes, not roleplaying and not some kink.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 24 May 2023, 6:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No I meant people who don't do it as a fetish. And I meant flack as in "they're not hurting anybody, you can't judge them", etc. Well large age gap relationships aren't hurting you but you still have your opinion that you find it creepy or gross. And so you should have an opinion, we should all be allowed to have opinions on things. It what makes us human. I know you don't hate people in large age gap relationships just like I don't hate people who choose to be adult babies (for fun, not fetish). I just feel creeped out about the idea of it, just makes me shudder. Maybe you feel the same about large age gap relationships. (Is there a shorter term to use instead of "large age gap relationships"? How about LAGR. That's better.)

When are adult babies not a fetish?