What are the EXACT STEPS needed to find a husband?

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So it's a game of chance then?

Like a slot machine in a casino?

What gives you that idea?

Finding love isn't easy.

It depends on what you value and what he does.

He needs to be someone who wants to get married and these are the questions you need to answers to when you are dating.

But first know what you want.

There is a start and then date, date, date.

Everything in life is a bit of a game of chance.

But unlike a slot machine where all you do is yank a handle and pray for a payoff, life is greatly influenced by skill and pro-active choices. In that regard, it's more like poker. If you don't know what you are doing, you're probably going to lose a lot. Even if you're an expert, you still won't always win. And some games just aren't worth playing, cos the risk is too high.

Like poker, there is no EXACT LIST of "things to do" to "win". The way to win is "have a better hand" - and there are many many ways to make that happen. Very few things in life are so convenient as to have a discrete list of steps leading directly to success.

So what you are saying is in order to find love I have to be smart, play my cards right and be proactive in my choices?

You are looking for some kind of relationship so chatting with guys and forming a connection is what comes first.

Have you dated much?

We don't always know what the cards and the choices are.
That's why dating can be difficult.
Even if we meet someone with a squeaky-clean background, they can change.
If we get too guarded we might miss someone great, or good opportunities.
If we aren't guarded enough we might make a very bad choice.

It's not easy.
Even after you meet someone it's not easy to keep a relationship going.

That's why I think it's important to meet as many friends and potential partners as possible.
Take your time and don't just assume the first friendly person is the one.

I have had 3 boyfriends prior to Jerry including another guy named Jerry

So in that regard I am actually farther along in the love game than I realize!

If my ex-boyfriend Robbie didn't turn gay he would have most likely been my husband and I would most likely be married by now!

You are further along when it comes to finding a boyfriend and love.

It will happen - but just like the song, you can't hurry love.

These things are generally helpful in all aspects in life, but still do not in any way guarantee success. There's always an element of chance.

It improves the odds versus doing the opposite and not being smart, not playing your cards right, and not being pro-active. Sorta like how eating better, eating less, and exercising doesn't guarantee weight loss, but is still more likely to be effective than eating crap, eating lots of it, and sitting around all day.

These statements are still extremely vague, and do not mean something as simple as "jump at the first chance you get, throw everything at it, but maybe be a little careful in the process".

My neighbor Anita said it is hard to find love and even she took a while to find "the one" before Phil!

She also said the odds will GREATLY increase in my favor if I consult a therapist because the therapist would help teach me how to interact with people, how to attract men, and ultimately how to find love

Also I must keep remembering the quote from a certain blue-eyed dress shoes wearing cartoon character that I have as my signature on here...

There are a lot of variables that need to be considered in the journey to find true love!

Consider the search for "Mr. Right" as similar to a search for a business partner.  You have to meet his qualifications just as much as he has to meet yours.  Make sure you can meet his standards for you just as much as he can meet your standards for him.

What are your highest priorities for a husband?  Is there some "wiggle room"?  Are you willing to compromise to "win" a husband, or are your standards cast in adamantium?

A small request on behalf of your future husband: However you present yourself at first will be what he expects you to be for the rest of your lives.  Many husbands, for example, are dismayed when the sweet, submissive, coquettish girly-women they thought they were marrying turn into virtual "Xena, Warrior Princess" clones soon after the honeymoon is over.

So please, just be yourself.

You are saying to treat dates like job interviews (& then some! ) right?

On the other hand, there are also quite a few men who would actually prefer a "Xena, Warrior Princess" clone (but in many cases would hesitate to say so).


Agreed.

Yes, but subtly so.  Slam a guy with a dumpload of questions and he will soon look for the nearest exit.