Help please with email sent to prospective love interest

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I think it's up to an individual to decide what they consider to be stalking or crossing their boundaries.

Someone can decide you're creepy/a stalker without it rising to the point of charges being filed.

And sometimes you might have to take that risk. Nevertheless I believe the OP grasps the situation. They are legitimately concerned their approach might have crossed a line, IOW they don't need to be told.

Most approaches where there isn't a clear way of getting to know somebody can be construed as crossing a line.

Initially he made me extremely uncomfortable because he crouched down next to me in a supermarket aisle whilst I was minding my own business.

I felt that was loitering or stalking initially, and it drove me away from both the yoga class and that particular supermarket, until I reflected and decided I might actually also be receptive to his interest.

His work colleague suggested I post a letter directly to the office.

Would that have been more acceptable and less stalker-ish than working out his work email by deduction?

I wasn't sure to be honest.

I didn't want to draw attention to the fact I'd contacted him to his work.

Presumably only he can see his work emails

LinkedIn would have been so so much better.

Or they could be the premise for an entertaining rom-com.

Sorry to personalize this, but when I was 24 I went to an apartment on the mere rumor of a young woman living there who might be unattached and available. Literally all I knew about her was her name and that she wasn't in a relationship with her male/non-binary roommate. She and I were in a serious relationship for over 2 years.

rse92-

Could you explain to my why LinkedIn would have seemed better?

I am wondering now why I didn't figure that out for myself and consider it would have been better.

I don't really know why.

MaxE-

Interesting!

Relationships can start all sorts of ways I guess!
There is no formula

He has a public profile on LinkedIn, so he is effectively inviting contact from others who use the platform.

Unless his work mail is available on a public website (mine is on my firm’s website), you would have had to track it down, as you did. That seems more stalkerish, or perhaps more desperate.

You probably know now your email was too much information for someone who barely knew you and may not remember you.

rse92-

Okay, that makes some sense.

Unfortunately I cannot undo what I've done now, however I did say to him in the message that I had considered contacting via LinkedIn directly originally.

I don't have a professional LinkedIn profile, which is one reason I didn't want to, because I would be advertising my lack of a career.

His company email was extremely easy to deduce from all the information on his public LinkedIn page.
I didn't therefore see that there was a huge difference between the two approaches (this may be wrong as you have pointed out).

I have more than one email address, so in terms of him having the one I used, it isn't too awful I hope.

In terms of looking "desperate"-
I waited two years after a more or less
non-interaction with him to initiate contact.

Does that make me "desperate"?
Or just resourceful?

I also explained in my message that I didn't think approaching him in the yoga studio seemed possible.
It isn't, really.

That's why originally he tried to approach me in the supermarket.
Because he probably thought it was the only way.

Well if there is any possibility he is still interested I've now made the situation much easier for him.

I also thought email seemed more neutral/anonymous for somebody than LinkedIn, because of the profile photo on the latter.
I dunno

How did it go?

RetroGamer87-

I have no reply yet.

He is on annual leave until Monday, and I expect that IF he does reply, it will take him a few days to formulate a response anyway.

If I haven't heard in a week from today I'll probably assume that I may not get a response though.

Just to protect myself mentally it is better to assume that.

But it's not an exact science.

I mean I really can't predict what might happen.

Unsurprisingly I have mixed feelings about this. So at the risk of being too explicit, PIV intercourse was her preferred way to achieve orgasm whereas she actually had trouble masturbating. But of course, given what she wanted sexually required having a male partner, but you can imagine that a lot of guys would have wanted nothing to do with her because of her mental health issues and those that would do her might not have had the best intentions. She was always on oral birth control because she wanted to be ready whenever the opportunity presented. She was 6 years older than I, and as you might imagine had been through a lot, as a result of which she might have come across as older than 28 to most people, although I couldn't have judged that at the time. I can also imagine she probably just wanted somebody to keep her company through the night.

Whatever medication she was on at the time seemed to be controlling her symptoms well enough that she was able to function. She was in town for a summer internship in connection with a degree in Social Work for which she was studying in a neighboring state.

Ideally she would have been better off with somebody older. I couldn't really be more than a support animal for her, but she was a lovely person with no ill will towards anyone and treated me very well OTOH I was never very demanding or insensitive to her but at the same time we weren't about to get into a serious discussion of her symptoms or what she might have experienced in some of her darkest moments.

So the timing was really awful. You may be aware that in the US it's typical for middle class and above kids to "go away to college" in a different town or state after finishing secondary school. I had done that and had plans to return there for a different degree. So when she and I met, I was already planning to leave town in a few weeks. Long story short, we tried to maintain a LDR but then she started to have misgivings part of which was that being around me made her feel old (at 28!) and then she went back home and didn't want further contact, and I didn't make a big effort to change her mind. In all honesty I was nowhere near certain I wanted to commit to a lifetime relationship with her, but of course you can well imagine I have very mixed feelings about this to this day.

I also disclosed my serious chronic health issues straight up.
There are potential downsides and potential upsides to that I guess.

I just have to live with the decision now.

Actually that was more what my post was supposed to be about.

People latched onto the fact that I'd contacted him at work but I wasn't asking so much about that.

I was wondering if I had over-shared.

Well I got rejected anyway, although it was a polite and friendly message, not complaining about how I contacted him or anything.

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

funeralxempire-

Thank you.
You live, you learn.
It's a slightly complicated situation where I may have missed an opportunity or not.
Or maybe there never was one.

Slightly curious.

Just have to see it as nebulous/a learning experience.

Although I'm upset about it but also wasn't receptive to him at the time when he tried to talk to me.

Maybe he's not the right person for a relationship anyway.