Confidence is disposable these days

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There are some women who view confidence as a type of toxic masculinity. Those types of women but they're the minority.

That's both my 2nd & current gf. I do NOT conform to the stereotypical male & I went through phases where I felt I was born the wrong gender so that's probably some of why I've had better luck with those types of women.

Confidence is overrated.

A toxic byproduct of some extrovert culture BS.

If you are truly confident you don't care if women think you are confident or manly enough. You are just yourself and if women don't fancy your kind of man then it's their problem. If you have that kind of confidence women tend to find you confident and attractive.

I never did care about the extrovert culture. I tried to be extroverted myself just to fit into that stupid culture.

I like humility more than confidence, not that it's an either/or thing. A person can be confident but have humility. At any rate, I tend to find humility more appealing than confidence in terms of character traits as long as it's not Uriah Heepish.

When I had a few drinks on my birthday which made me confident/social I talked to this girl and her friends at the pub. My friends then told me “She does not give a s**t”

When people have humility I take it as a sign of confidence.

yup, nobody cares about a womans confidence, thats not how men are attracted to women.

I was under the impression that not all men are the same.

This. Most of what people are talking about in this thread is not true confidence which is extremely rare in my experience and, I would say, the closest thing to a universally attractive trait. It is never intimidating, you don't need it to be extroverted and it isn't an indication of your earning potential. It's a lot more to do with having an accurate perception both of yourself and how you fit in to the world around you.

I think I fit your definition of true confidence but lots of people think I lack confidence so I suspect lots of people don't recognise or know what true confidence is.

Too many people cannot distinguish between self-confidence and narcissism

I think a point keeps getting glossed over here.

If you wanna come off as more confident, it might be a good idea to separate yourself from the dating scene and take a hard, long, critical look of why you might be having confidence issues. Is it appearance? Weight? Do you think your personality sucks? etc. If you're going into a social situation where you're trying to get someone's attention and earn their affection, you first need to build a healthy relationship with your inner and outer self.

Lack of confidence, inevitably, boils down to insecurity. But honestly, most of the women I've encountered and befriended just want someone who can be straightforward and candid with them. That's something we as autistics actually excel in, once we learn how to express it.

But my main point: you should learn to love and value yourself before entering the dating pool. No one wants to date someone who clearly doesn't like themselves. It's okay to be weird, strange, different. It can be endearing in the right circumstances too!

Then I think you should stop and ask yourself: why?
If you worry about how other people judge you then you will never gain any true confidence. Learn to trust your own judgements. If other people voice an opinion about you, listen and reflect on it. Do they have a valid point? Is there anything you can learn from it about yourself? Are they talking nonsense? Some people get impressed by bragging and simplistic rethoric - ignore their opinon about you. Instead listen to people that you view as a rolemodels for true confidence.

Did...you not read my entire post?