A dog vs having a girlfriend!

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They advised a dog as a replacement for a girlfriend, not an actual way to meet women. To me, it looks like his parents made more of an insinuation rather than given him actual advice.

It must be fascinating to be a dinner guest at jamesys house.

its not relevant - the advice is still sympathetic, well-intentioned and practical even if it isn't taken by the OP

If you look at and actually read the OP's first post, you'll see no mention of replacing anything...you are reading that into the post yourself. "If you want a relationship, get a dog". [ getting a dog can possibly lead to getting a relationship. I am a major introvert, but as soon as I take my dog for a walk, I become instantly more approachable because people want to interact with my dog and ask be questions about her. Having a dog with me also makes ME less anxious which seems to make ME more approachable also}] NOT get a dog INSTEAD

Last edited by DanielW on 13 Mar 2024, 11:52 am, edited 2 times in total.

They said "if you want a relationship, get a dog". I'm seeing this one way and you're probably seeing it another way.

To me it looked like the told jamsey to give up though.

Having a dog with me in public makes me more approachable by everyone - its like a people magnet. Its done a lot for me in the way of making friends with all kinds of other people who probably wouldn't have noticed me otherwise.

I'm seeing it in the context of what jamesy said immediately before their advice. I get the same vibes as telling a woman in her mid 30s who's never had a boyfriend to "get a few cats"

Its still fundamentally good advice. Especially for lonely introverts. Getting a pet of any sort that you like, can help with anxiety, depression, and loneliness - which makes you feel better about yourself...which can indeed make you more attractive to others.

Honestly, getting a dog was some of the best tangential relationship advice I have ever received.

off topic, but would you want to have a pet jamesy?

I'm getting the impression that something of what his parents have said has been misconstrued.

He does tell them that he is feeling depressed because he can't get a relationship. Maybe they are offering a solution to his depression and jamesy has taken it as though they are telling him that getting a dog would be a good substitute for a love interest.

That's just my thoughts

I think his parents timing was atrocious and genuinely believe they meant it as a slur, even though dogs are actually helpful for introverts.

It reminds me of the people asking me if I'm still a virgin. It's what they're knowingly implying about me rather than the question being asked with genuine curiosity.

Sometimes the WORST possible timing of advice will make you pay the most attention to it. I am speaking from personal experience here. It felt really dismissive at first which made me over-think it, which ended up with me seriously thinking about how it could be even remotely well-intentioned. I found a well-intentioned reason...eventually. I also eventaully did get a dog, and I eventually did start expanding my social circle.

Having a dog also makes it easier to stay motivated to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am

Sometimes having a dog is better than having a relationship with a person. It depends on the partner/relationship…and the dog.

I suppose it depends on what you're looking for.

For me personally a dog wouldn't be an option but I can see where you guys might be coming from

Hi Jamsey:
I will tell you right now that I will take having a pet over having a boyfriend for the sake of being lonely. You don't want to end up in any old relationship where you are not going to be happy. On the other hand, having a dog and taking it for walks is a great way for you to meet people.

Also, being alone is a great time for you to work on liking and accepting yourself because the right people end up coming along.

Don't give up Jamesy