Nobody wants to be with a freak

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You just need a focus on compatible freaks.

I think some of this is that NTs who are aware of our autism expect we can not have relationships but us autistics feel we are falling short when we compare ourselves to our non-disabled NT peers. Us autistics may also experience direct pressure from NTs who are not fully aware of our autism.
There's LOTS of exceptions of coarse.

And why should I have to be lonely forever just because the universe arbitrarily chose me and not Steve down the street to inflict with a developmental disorder I never asked for?

Maybe you don’t have to be lonely forever. It might just be more about meeting someone you’re compatible with or adjusting something so you can meet her.

I'm over 40. If that could happen it would have by now. Besides, it's too late at my age. Things don't work like they used and I don't have any of the sexual energy I did when I was younger.

You have said yourself that you have no financial stability - that can indeed be a turn off for many women. I personally have heard women, both irl and online say that they don't bother with men who don't improve their lot financially.

But there are obviously women who will take someone on who doesn't have any financial stability.

It sounds like if things don't work for you physically anymore, you might be better off looking for romance and not a sexual relationship?

There are asexual women out there who are looking for romance, without any sex, or a minimum of sex.

Alternatively, have you tried boner pills? There are medicines for erectile dysfunction that exist. You would likely have to tell a woman at some point that you might need to rely on these for such acts, which might be okay, or not okay for the woman.

Even with pills I still lack energy. Abd besides, I'm not even attracted to women my age anymore.

I don't want an ace; I want a sexual relationship.

I can't help the fact that I'm disabled, and have no family support or social safety net. I've tried everything I could to improve my situation, but everything is stacked against me.

So you are only interested in younger woman? And you lack the physical energy to have sex?

I'm not sure what to offer up as an alternative, but you sound like you should try to be more happy with what little you already have, since you don't have a plan to change your situation anyway?

It's not that I want to date young women, but rather that I've already missed out and it's too late now.

Sadly, there is no turning back the clock for the time period you have missed out on, for the women that were age compatible with you, during your previous years.

You have missed out on what a lot of people have enjoyed. I suppose you might take some solace in the fact that this sort of situation is fairly common for autistic folk, especially male autistic folk.

And why the f**k should that make me feel any better? Because I know the reason is that I'm a freak?! I never asked to an autistic freak.

I'm doomed to never be loved, all because the universe arbitrarily chose me to inflict with a developmental disorder that I never asked for. So why the f**k should I just kill myself right now?! In fact, I should have done it years ago.

Welcome to evolutionary psychology. That is how we are wired to keep the species alive.

I am sorry you are in the situation that you are in, it sucks. Some of us just get dealt a bad hand genetically. We didn't ask for it, and most of us don't like it. I know that there are those on this board that seem to be ok being autistic. They say that it makes them who they am. I am not one of them-I f**king hate being autistic, and I am probably have a less severe level than many on here do.

This is the issue that Heidegger called "thrownness". We are thrown into existence at a place and time not of our choosing, with issues and conditions that we didn't choose. We had no say in any of this, it just happened, by chance if you are nihilistic, or by some divine plan if you aren't.

To be honest, I have not read enough Heidegger to know what is the answer to deal with thrownness. Probably something I need to look into in that I have some existential issues myself related to it.

The best I have come to do so far is to realize that life isn't fair and some people get dealt a bad hand genetically. That realization at least made me realize that there wasn't much I could have done to improved by past (or present) and to stop expecting to be like NTs. Although if you catch me on a bad day I still fall into depression over that

So I'm a failure of natural selection. So why the f**k shouldn't I kill myself?! My life is already over in any way that matters anyway.

I like being who am, and I can't imagine who I would be without autism. But the problem is that none of that is worth the price I have to pay in being eternally alone and unlovable.

And why the fucj should I have to just accept that I can never have a life as good as an NT?! Why do I have to accept that I'm lesser just because I was born different? Why should any of this make me feel any better?

I think sometimes, accepting defeat in certain scenarios is probably less painful than struggling against the inevitable.

Frustration is often born out of a lingering desire to fight the inevitable, or at least a state of being unhappy with the situation you are in, which you have described.