gwenevyn wrote:
jfberge wrote:
My current theory is that small talk serves the purpose of determining how predictable you are. Unpredictability frightens people, as they assume that the errant person could be dangerous. If you're able to maintain small talk, the other person will feel more at ease. Small talk is a social fitness test, not an earnest conversation.
I think that's one of its uses.
But most human brains are wired to interpret small talk as a method of lubricating social connections.
Small talk is basically about sharing experiences with others, being a story teller, sharing emotions, or common interests, etc. The truth is we aspies just get so wrapped up in deep complexity that people only THINK we are boring because we find such deep complexity intriguing and fascinating and always good topic of conversation, when really they easy get bored because they have limited interest or intrigue in it, or simply have psychological limits on how much they can talk about one topic before moving onto the next. The truth is, small talk is about sharing of mental and emotional states as much as it is about sharing 'trivial' information.
Some of us don't realize that people talk to recoupe and feel better about themselves: They want to feel connected to other people, share laughs over stupid trivial things, build bonds, etc. Aspies aren't the only ones who feel alone, many NT's do as well, even among their own kind.
I'd say that aspies simply bond differently then NT's. I've learned to 'not be so hard on 'normal people'', I'd say much aspie prejudice comes from misunderstanding the purpose of social interaction "Not being able to relate", etc.