Any tips for online dating sites?

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Dating sites can be okay. Just take everything with a grain of salt though. Don't become obsessed with them. I know some people that are.

Yeah I suppose there have been some good comments in here. I have never actually put an ad up with a photo and profile on a dating site before. Although if I did I would not mention AS directly, I would just allude as strongly as possible to it without coming off as a weirdo. Afterall I would be wanting someone who is interested in me the way I am and not some false idea of going to corporate dinner parties or whatever else. I mean there is a chance in doing so that you could attract an un-diagnosed ASer simply because they would be drawn to your take on life.

Another thing as has been said, don't write highly specific criteria for what you are looking for because frankly if you do, then you should not be on there at all. One reason is that you can not predict exactly what you may or not be attracted to and could miss out on a fine thing. Another reason is that women don't come prepackaged according to highly specific criteria, it is good to have a fairly focussed idea of what you like although allowing it to become too absolute is futile.

Thanks for the advice all.

Well I'm not too hopeful about match.com, I have got one email, but that's it so far. Have sent a few "winks" (how corny would that be in real life though), but have not got any replies yet, would rather get a "thanks but no thanks" response than seemingly just be ignored! Anyway I did a gender comparison test and found out there are about twice as many men around my age in the local area than there are women! Though there are quite a few fun/interesting features at the site, such as "matchwords", they don't seem to be of great use really, more style than substance I'd say. Everything feels a bit generic too, it's like photo dating with some repetitive text attached, I keep reading profiles that are like "I'm really outgoing and sociable and get on with anyone blah blah".. left me thinking - "well if that's the case, then what are you doing here!"

Think I might try a deeper matchmaking site like perfectmatch or eHarmony, in reviews both are noted for having as many, if not more woman than men, which would be a head start! Although I'm a bit put off by reports of eHarmony's strong religious connections and apparent homophobia (no same sex dating allowed).

You need to decide what sort of girl you would like to meet through the site, then you tailor your profile in such a way as to be appealing to that particular subset of women.

For example, if you would like to meet stupid women, you should talk about how much you enjoy long walks on the beach and romantic candlelit dinners.

To advise you regarding any specifics, I'd need to know more about you and your tastes. It is, of course, universally bad to focus on the negative or (as noted in another thread) to say things like "I would really prefer a blonde but I suppose I might go for a brunette."

As Calandale said, message boards like this one are a much more engaging way to meet people. I've had literally hundreds of contacts on the dating site I was on, and I exchanged emails and phone calls with a few guys, but I just couldn't manage to be very attracted to any of them, coming at it from that angle. It feels like ordering from a menu... and what makes people lovely are all those idiosyncrasies you can't easily show in a blurb on a dating profile. Here things feel much more natural. Forums also give you the chance to observe how the person who has your interest behaves when s/he is not showing off for you.

Yes, that's the correct spelling.

I wouldn't bother with eHarmony. I played around with it because I was interested to see how they go about assessing compatibility. Half the questions they found important simply weren't, to me. Their survey didn't even cover some matters that many people would consider major deal breakers. I filled it out very honestly, about my AS traits, and yet somehow I was matched with all these annoyingly extraverted beefcakes whose idea of a good time is crushing small forest animals with off-road vehicles, intoxicated, after a night bumping and grinding at the disco. Their profiles said such profound things as "yah ahhah icant rly remember the lsat time i read a book lol" Along with the whole romantic "candlelit dinner on the beach under the full moon, kissing" spiel. Huh? Are they operating under the "opposites attract" paradigm? Well, apparently opposites do attract those guys... they messaged me even though I was very clear about my nerdy interests. I ran outta there fast!

I've done the dating site thing to pretty decent success. Although, I've had no luck finding a permanent match, u meet a lot of people u otherwise wouldn't and it's interesting to say the least.

The key to a successful profile on a dating site is one that stands out from the rest. Have a good picture, and make your profile fun to read. It's all about making yourself seem as real of a person as possible through electronic communication. Your picture should show more than what u look like. U could be on a horse, motorcycle, in a swimsuit by the pool, playing guitar, or anything that shows you're someone who has interests and enjoys life. And your profile should describe who u are as a person. Your profile should also not read like a biography with generic information. It should highlight what you're like to be around and what u enjoy doing & stand for. Interesting stuff basically.

Just do this and you'll be more likely to get mail that than 90% of the people on those sites.

For the guys: I know, it's not fair, but as is real life, men are expected to make the first move online too. So do it.

I think that wanting to know
more about the thinking of
the person involved, and
their way of expressing
themselves, is really an
aspie trait. Otherwise, these
sites, and the similar newspaper
matchings just wouldn't exist.

Funny how the least social want
the MOST communication before
taking a risk, but given how seldomly
we get along with others, I guess it
makes sense.

Hell, there's almost NOTHING that I care
about, in terms of fundamental beliefs
and such, that a person might state. I
know that those can change. What can't
change is how they express themself.

There are so many dating sites flooding in the market today. There's no question that everyone on the site is looking to meet someone. So, there's none of the awkwardness and uncertainty you have in some social situations, where a person's relationship status or even sexual orientation may not be obvious.

________________________________________

Dating Tips

If you are really serious about it, it's best if you include your photo because most people have photos and most users without photos won't even appear in anyone's match searches.

those users are not alive anymore....

>Any tips for online dating sites?

Tips? Yeah - unregister!

Spend time on something valuable instead, online dating is a waste of time. 80%-90% on the people on site A also exist on site B and the general level of IQ will probably make you depressed and start thinking about buying a high end lovedoll instead since you wouldn't be missing out on any intelligent conversation.

My my, aren't we necroposting again. The OP is from 2007.

Buy anyway, use okcupid or plentyoffish because they are truly free.

Also, if you don't have a good smiley photo, don't bother. Bad photo == no dates. Most aspies have straight face - no smile photo. Unless you happen to be super hot, who would want a guy that can't smile for a photo. It very hard for some of us to smile good and is the biggest reason aspie guys have a hard time on these sites.

I use OkCupid. I was told putting Aspergers on it was a bad idea so I didn't. I have a date coming up in 2-3 weeks thanks to it. I can't wait. I don't have a toothy smile in any of my pics on it either, just cute smirks.

It seems like girls have more success on dating sites than guys. Of course, when I say "success", I just mean attention in general, whether welcome or not. It seems like most girls get messages all the time, whereas guys seem to be expected to be the ones to make contact.

I have only 2 tips:
For females: if you are desperate, try it, it will work.

For males: boycott it and don't waste your time

Be interesting but not too interesting.

Don't wait for people to message you, you message them.

Don't get your hopes up. Treat is a possible avenue of meeting someone, but don't expect you'll find 'the one' by it.