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Pugly
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23 Sep 2007, 7:04 pm

calandale wrote:
Anyhow, it's more than mere confidence
which makes jerks seem successful. It's
prioritizing themselves over others' feelings.
Now, this is something WE should be very
good at.


Being indifferent... easy. Indifference in a sexy way... difficult.

If I show no interest, women have no problems with that...


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Wanting more than what I have might appear as greed.


calandale
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23 Sep 2007, 7:11 pm

Pugly wrote:

Being indifferent... easy. Indifference in a sexy way... difficult.

If I show no interest, women have no problems with that...


Yeah. WE lack the confidence and skills in the
social setting. But, THAT'S not what makes a
jerk. And my worry, is that with our tendencies,
IF we had that confidence, we'd be jerks. :x



Pugly
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23 Sep 2007, 7:16 pm

A jerk... appears to be aware of the rules, just doesn't regard them.

If I was socially confident I wouldn't be a jerk... I'd still exhibit passive aggressive tendencies... overall I'd be gregarious and friendly.


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Wonder what it feels like to be in love?
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Guess I could pretend that this is all I need
Wanting more than what I have might appear as greed.


Paula
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23 Sep 2007, 7:27 pm

My daughter married a very nice guy, so did I, and my son is one to. But one of the biggest pet peeves my daughter and I have is when a woman says, "oh he's to nice a guy for me." then as far as we are concerend,she gets what she deserves. And F.Y.I. neither me nor my children had trouble getting dates, my husband did, do to his painful shyness and being consciencious about his acne,and my daughter's husband was the same.....go figure.



Tim_Tex
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23 Sep 2007, 7:28 pm

This thread is full of generalizations and stereotypes.

Tim


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GoatOnFire
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23 Sep 2007, 7:30 pm

I thought my first post would've gotten more of a response. :( C'mon guys, I only need 600 more experience points before I become a level 13 attention whore. :wink:

Ticker wrote:
agmoie wrote:
`Weak` DNA? Most NT men are the ones with weak DNA.Women look for potential mates who exhibit feminine traits,they don`t find these in AS men.Look up Baron Cohen and Autism on the net



Sorry dude but autistic genes are bad DNA. AS people aren't able to interact correctly, have problems holding jobs and often have coordination issues. That doesn't make for a good mate. I notice you are from Northern Ireland and very manly looking in your avatar. But all the US Aspie men I have met are usually very feminine acting and weak. For instance there are several guys at work I think have AS and they are all the laughing stock of the NT women. They are just too girly, shy and wimpy. I'm friends with a lot of the NT guys who are the typical guy type though. It seems like the older AS guys are more masculine than the younger ones. Come to think of it maybe its a generational thing because a lot of the NT young guys are very sissy these days.


Any human DNA is bad DNA, but that's off topic. I have noticed that most of the other AS guys I have encountered are effeminate little pusses. Although I guarantee you that if you met me you would see that not all aspies are that way. Is it possible that you suspect those guys at work of AS just because they are such wusses? I think it is a generational thing. I find it infuriating to see the kind of pansy that girls seem to like these days. I spent five years getting buff only to find out that the girl I like prefers poofters. :x In fact, I sometimes even act like a jerk and I have had no success. My problem lies somewhere else and I'd love to know what it is so that I could fix it if I could.


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Last edited by GoatOnFire on 23 Sep 2007, 7:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

siuan
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23 Sep 2007, 7:39 pm

richardbenson wrote:
i think this can be scientifically proven, not only by my own observations (my mother) but almost every girl ive seen out there likes guys that are abusive, rude and overall barbarians. and most women always go back to an abusive relationship over and over again. its really to bad women dont pay more attention to me because i am one don jaun! i'll tell you that much :wink:


Not me. I don't like ass kissers either, just a down-to-earth kind of guy who is intelligent, logical and okay with a little bit of emotional distance. I like a guy with goals, but he doesn't have to be the stereotypical go-getter...in fact I find those types to be too wrapped up in whatever all that is. If a guy was an abusive, rude barbarian to me, it would be the last time we spoke and I wouldn't feel even a little bad about it.

However, I'll admit that your observations do seem fairly accurate. I look at some of the morons people I know are with and just scratch my head in wonder.


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richardbenson
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23 Sep 2007, 7:42 pm

thanks everyone. i especially laughed at the "aspie men are girly" replies. i can see how that can be true


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richardbenson
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23 Sep 2007, 7:52 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-6ohi8htTE


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calandale
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23 Sep 2007, 7:54 pm

Pugly wrote:
A jerk... appears to be aware of the rules, just doesn't regard them.


Something to this. I know that my PE
was terribly attracted by the fact that
I could follow conventions of etiquette,
and then surreptitiously lick my plate,
in a restaurant.

Quote:
If I was socially confident I wouldn't be a jerk.


See, where I DO play off as confident, I
come off as an egotistical bastard. And I
suspect that there are plenty of good examples
of such, right here on this site. On the other
hand, I find that true of almost everyone.
Certainty leads to it, almost invariably.



Ticker
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23 Sep 2007, 8:26 pm

GoatOnFire wrote:
I thought my first post would've gotten more of a response. :( C'mon guys, I only need 600 more experience points before I become a level 13 attention whore. :wink:

Ticker wrote:
agmoie wrote:
`Weak` DNA? Most NT men are the ones with weak DNA.Women look for potential mates who exhibit feminine traits,they don`t find these in AS men.Look up Baron Cohen and Autism on the net



Sorry dude but autistic genes are bad DNA. AS people aren't able to interact correctly, have problems holding jobs and often have coordination issues. That doesn't make for a good mate. I notice you are from Northern Ireland and very manly looking in your avatar. But all the US Aspie men I have met are usually very feminine acting and weak. For instance there are several guys at work I think have AS and they are all the laughing stock of the NT women. They are just too girly, shy and wimpy. I'm friends with a lot of the NT guys who are the typical guy type though. It seems like the older AS guys are more masculine than the younger ones. Come to think of it maybe its a generational thing because a lot of the NT young guys are very sissy these days.


Any human DNA is bad DNA, but that's off topic. I have noticed that most of the other AS guys I have encountered are effeminate little pusses. Although I guarantee you that if you met me you would see that not all aspies are that way. Is it possible that you suspect those guys at work of AS just because they are such wusses? I think it is a generational thing. I find it infuriating to see the kind of pansy that girls seem to like these days. I spent five years getting buff only to find out that the girl I like prefers poofters. :x In fact, I sometimes even act like a jerk and I have had no success. My problem lies somewhere else and I'd love to know what it is so that I could fix it if I could.


Girls don't go for the pansies. The nice guy looses. The only time I see women not going for buff guys is when the guy brags on his physique. And a lot of guys that work out tend to talk and talk about their damn body. My boss is like this. He will go on every day what his work out consisted of. Nobody cares to hear that. Girls like guys that have a life and hobbies, are active and have a good job.

I suspect the guys at work that have AS have it because of the multitude of Aspie behaviors I observe them exhibiting, not because they are wusses. One guy can speak of nothing but one football player and will have the same conversation with me every day about that player. He goes up to people who are talking or busy and hits them on the shoulder and will say "hey, hey, hey" to start a conversation just like small children do. He also looks and moves weird. He slugged me so hard in the shoulder last week that I nearly cried from the pain. Normal guys do not slug a female in the shoulder as a way to say "hello"

The other guy cannot hold conversations but instead follows women around the building like a pesky bug. He stutters if he tries to talk to you and cannot keep eye contact. He also lives at home and is dressed and groomed by his mom. Both guys have the Aspie forehead.



richardbenson
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23 Sep 2007, 8:34 pm

woah. thats cool that one dude talks about his favorite football player like that, im the same way with ichiro! :P


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gwenevyn
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23 Sep 2007, 8:40 pm

Pugly wrote:

Primarily, once most women form an attachment... they like to do everything in their power to keep that commitment and relationship going forward. Even if it means putting up with abuse, it'll be worth it in the end... and in the throws of a relationship it's easy to put blinders on. Especially once they've accepted the relationship...


I can't believe nobody has QFT'd this yet, Pugly. You've found the Holy Grail and it goes unnoticed...

On another note....

Jerks are exciting in the beginning. Nice guys/girls often make the mistake of tailoring their presentation of themselves around the person they're pursuing. I think I once made the mistake of being too accomodating toward a prospect and lost his interest that way. I became uninteresting, I guess. Seems there's a difference between being respectful and being... amorphous.


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Last edited by gwenevyn on 23 Sep 2007, 8:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

calandale
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23 Sep 2007, 8:41 pm

Ticker wrote:
The only time I see women not going for buff guys is when the guy brags on his physique.


I disagree. The women that I've been with
all have rather seen what is considered 'buff'
as looking like a mutant. They'd prefer fit, but
not overly muscular. Likewise, I've been snubbed
by women who claim that they'd like a bit more
fat on the guy. Why, I couldn't possibly understand,
but tastes are tastes. I'm just glad that an effeminate
fop such as myself can be attractive, and live with it.



GoatOnFire
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23 Sep 2007, 8:49 pm

Ticker wrote:
Girls don't go for the pansies. The nice guy looses. The only time I see women not going for buff guys is when the guy brags on his physique. And a lot of guys that work out tend to talk and talk about their damn body. My boss is like this. He will go on every day what his work out consisted of. Nobody cares to hear that. Girls like guys that have a life and hobbies, are active and have a good job.

I suspect the guys at work that have AS have it because of the multitude of Aspie behaviors I observe them exhibiting, not because they are wusses. One guy can speak of nothing but one football player and will have the same conversation with me every day about that player. He goes up to people who are talking or busy and hits them on the shoulder and will say "hey, hey, hey" to start a conversation just like small children do. He also looks and moves weird. He slugged me so hard in the shoulder last week that I nearly cried from the pain. Normal guys do not slug a female in the shoulder as a way to say "hello"

The other guy cannot hold conversations but instead follows women around the building like a pesky bug. He stutters if he tries to talk to you and cannot keep eye contact. He also lives at home and is dressed and groomed by his mom. Both guys have the Aspie forehead.


Aspie forehead? Never heard of that.

The guys I'm talking abut are pansies, not nice guys, but definitely pansies. I don't brag about my physique ever when actually around another person. But I don't have a life... that's probably it. I'd bet my body language is way off too. If I can't even make a normal friend how would I ever have a chance of a girlfriend.

I think this might go the other way too. I have met 3 AS girls in my life and didn't like any of them. They were prudish, uninterested, moody, and had masculine tendencies. I'm not making a generalization, I've only met 3, and after seeing this site I'm convinced that they're not all like that.


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Last edited by GoatOnFire on 23 Sep 2007, 8:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

richardbenson
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23 Sep 2007, 8:52 pm

what we need are girls who are just as messed up as we are that dont look like dudes. most girls with Aspergers are lesbians and can probably beat you at arm wrestling :)


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