Aspie's getting together with ADHDers?

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My boyfriend has ADHD and he is much calmer than I am. Of course, I think you meant a calm environment, which I prefer but cannot really create by myself given my anxiety... He helps me out a lot. If he recognizes a situation cannot be changed, he doesn't stress (while I stress enough for both of us ) He doesn't mind changes in schedule, lateness, physical contact with others, or unalphabetized collections of books. Some things we have in common though, such as sensitivity to loud/oddly pitched noises and fluorescent lighting. Both of our school bags are a flurry of smashed papers, and we usually misplace the same assignments.
I must say, however, that we are an odd couple. I have a somewhat male mind. I will not elaborate on that
Anyway, I think our personalities are better matched than our disorders

Does that mean that I, as someone who has the hybrid combination (AS and AD/HD combined), am most suitable with another person who is the same way? No idea. I like having both, as I can pull the strength with both. I understand how both can work against me, respectively.

Just from the ADHD people I know, I think I would have a hard time dating someone with ADHD I dated someone who could possibly fit that label, but not quite sure. It was a fun, but short, relationship.

I think a lot depends on the people involved.

I have inattentive ADD. I am disorganized beyond belief, despite my best efforts. Not so long ago, I dated someone who, though diagnosed, had pretty much every AS trait you could imagine, but was also the best-organized, most self-disciplined person I've ever met. When we first started dating, I wasn't diagnosed with anything, and I was in a good phase. We pretty much fit the same pattern as the original poster: although we were both introverts, I handled the social realm and he handled the organizational realm. We were perfectly complementary, and we both appreciated each other's strengths more than we minded each other's flaws. At some point, I hit a wall and got dissatisfied with my level of functioning. I felt, and probably looked, like I was falling apart. At the same time, he stopped being able to hold up his end of the conversation, and I just couldn't make up for that. He got frustrated with what he saw as my passivity and dependence on my parents. He didn't really understand what it took out of me to, for instance, make a phone call and I couldn't explain it to him. I wonder if on some level the path I took threatened him because he preferred the path of ignoring his own weaknesses and hoping they'd go away. As hypocritical as it sounds, at the same time I was frustrated with him for not understanding and supporting me as I confronted my new diagnoses, I realized that I really couldn't tolerate various behaviors of his that were probably due to AS. The real problem was that we were unable to talk about how to deal with these problems and make accommodations for each other. So, because we had totally different attitudes towards our own wiring, what started out as the perfect ADD/AS relationship became impossible, and we broke up.

Basically, I don't think any neurological matchup is the recipe for happiness. What matters is that both people are aware and accepting of their own differences and can not just tolerate the other person's neurological flaws, but be at peace with them.

Yeah, my girlfriend has both AS & ADHD

I have AS too, but only an inclination to regular ADD as far as i know.

Yeah, my girlfriend has both AS & ADHD

I have AS too, but only an inclination to regular ADD as far as i know.

I agree with you here. It is about accepting, liking, and loving who we are.

oops, i accidentally double-posted