pbcoll wrote:
Safire wrote:
pbcoll wrote:
i found love when i was 17, and it went sour. that was the only relationship i've ever been in, and i'm almost 25. now, what girl would want someone my age who has only ever had one girlfriend? in any case, i've come to the conclusion that love is a luxury not for me.
Actually for someone like me (I have had virtually no relationships) the fact that my bf had been in several made me uncomfortable. Some girls will find comfort in not having specters hanging over their heads. Few things are quite as deflating than that sinking feeling that the "other woman" made better pancakes or was hotter in bed or just generally did something that you feel insecure about better. Of course I'm also fairly competitive so maybe normal girls don't feel like they are competing with their bf's exes... but knowing women they probably do.
almost all girls about my age have had a lot more experience than me, and it seems most women want a man who is no less experienced than they are.
You may be right, I don't exactly have a lot of female friends so I'm a poor source for knowledge on girls that isn't personal. But I still think it's not really that they are looking for someone who has been in previous relationships exactly. I'm having trouble explaining but bear with me.
This time I got my heart broken back in high school (badly too) I was trying to get through the day without breaking down (I hate breaking down in public) so I went to sit with my friends (who are 98% male) one of them made a teasing comment that I usually responded to with a bit of banter but it just pushed me over the edge that day and I started crying. All of my friends were visibly freaked out which just made it that much worse. (I fled to the bathroom and hid for the remainder of lunch)
I guess yeah they weren't experienced with girls, and maybe having more relationships would have helped them better with a "woman in tears" situation. But I think the problem most girls have with guys who haven't dated isn't so much that they haven't dated but that they've missed some of the information they might otherwise have gained...
So maybe you're right about experience but not how it has to be gained? Maybe you could learn how to react in certain situations just from having female friends or relatives that you are close to? I know it bothers me when a reaction of mine makes someone else uncomfortable... I don't know... like I said not many female friends, not an expert in the area, but I'd bet that girls want a guy who will "do the right thing" when they break down but don't really care how he learned it. Could be wrong... and I guess there is stuff that would be hard to learn from anything but a girlfriend... but it seems more circumstantial than causal to me.
22 Oct 2007, 10:50 am
