I CAN'T DO IT!! :(

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hmm never done it that way... I only know the awkward questions leading to will you go out with me lol.

hmm so now I need to know ways of asking someone out.

Well, since I'm a female I don't have a ton of experience with that to share. Sorry...

just do it, don't think, thinking is bad,
bad bad bad


by the way, "new" generations don't do that (ask her), I was surprised to hear that.

Wow, you have really given your 'horrible' ex a lot of power in your life.
Are you are allowing the memory of her to cripple your feelings, or are you just not ready to ask out that other girl and using the memory of your ex as an excuse. Are you addicted to that rush of forcing yourself to do something that frightens you?

I ask because I found I did that a lot.

Yeah I guess I'm too loyal and hold things very close to my heart. The memory of her and the fragile move I want to make with girl I like is a difficult crossfire...
I don't know about being ready or not... I would hate for her to become not interested and then I just randomly find she's got with someone else...
I take risks... I rarely ever give myself a break from having to "Survive" sorta...

In the days of HIV/AIDS and multitudes of STDs you had BETTER ask if they want to be "exclusive" or not!

I'll always have my own acquired taste unique style... like most aspies I'm just so damn different.

btw do you reckon the fact that I never show that girl that I freak out in life a lot, with the AS which she knows I have now, is possibly going to be considered by her as brave and strong? It's not as if I show the bad to her... I go through a lot of self torture trying to remain calm but when I talk to her I manage... the worst that ever gets out is me saying something like "It's weird man sometimes I have these crazy bizarre confidence swings" and "Ah... well I was stressed recently but am better now"

If she's feeling low I always try to analyze ways to help her...
Now I ain't annoyingly 'caring too much' or anything lol I know when is a good time to help and things... she sometimes says she feels stupid for feeling so emotional over some things sometimes but... lol I ain't going to be put off by that. I know damn well what it's like to feel low sometimes over stupid things.

I feel a confident state gradually climbing back up now. For goodness sake why are my moods so goddamn uncontrollable... it makes me laugh sometimes when I feel good again over nothing.

Still ain't on top form though quite yet...

I waited too long to tell a girl. She was perfect, the most lovely girl I've ever met.

When I finally had the guts, she was already gone.

In fact she also liked me...

sad but true.

I read some of the things my friend Faye says to help me when I'm down... I tell you I don't know where the hell I'd be without her motivational help... she can see good in me when I can't see it myself. Not many of my relatively few friends can see that...

Now with so much complexity and strain in my mind, it can also make me panic when I think that I can be dependent on people... because not just with this bizarre complex wiring in my brain but as an aspie my reaction seems to be - I'm a proud upright guy. I like to think I am... but this condition can strip me of everything sometimes... and then I rely on other people getting me out of a s*** situation.

I am still relatively able I guess when I am down... for instance - I ain't scared Heather off despite the fact that I have manic possibly cyclothymiac mood swings... and of course throw in AS and what do you get? You get a specimen that just can't avoid having to cope with things that are just too much sometimes... and it's inevitable that I'll have to be a bit dependent sometimes.
I ain't dependent by nature, but I have bizarre patterns in the brain - sometimes I'm a strong sole survivor, and other times I rely on others a lot.
It's no wonder no one can connect with me... and I don't just mean with the girl stuff I mean in general.

And computerlove I feel bad for you about that... I hope you're swell now mate.