Why do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?

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Because I love him.

Because I love her.

I have one because I want to get married and have kids. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I want to share my time with someone and have someone in my life, someone I can take out to places, someone I can buy gifts for, and I want to take someone to Spokane with him and share my obsession wit someone and talk to someone about it. I also wanted someone I can do my fantasies with, someone to role play with.
But the guy has to be suitable for me, make me feel good about myself and not be so closed minded and be bothered by who I am. My bf accepts me for me. I don't have to feel pressured or like a dumb ass because I am not hugging him enough or snuggling with him enough or not taking him out enough or not spending all my time with him. He isn't needy.

Because he is very sweet and he respects me and my feelings. He doesn't push me or try and change me. He likes me the way I am. I sometimes come off as being too needy, but I really care about him and I feel happy with him. I feel special because I have someone who thinks I am special. I also like being able to say I have a boyfriend and when he refers to me as his girlfriend.

Because she is sweet, kind, caring, understanding and accepts me for the person that I am.

She is the one person in my life who I can be myself around without fear or worry of what may be thought of me.

She loves me for who I am, and I love her for who she is.

I couldn't wish for better than her.

Mmm.

I'm......single right now.

but the girl that I was dating, was the same as Me. A.S or something to that similar.

We were both a good match because of what we'd gone through and experienced.

I'm trying right now to get back together with her, but I think that three chances does apply to relationships as well, not just to jail.

I broke her heart way too much.

If I had someone, I would want it to be because she was a perfect match, not because I was the first guy to show her any sort of attention. I want to be actively sought out. And I would want to actively seek this ideal person out, and not be with someone because she was the first woman to show me any sort of attention.

Tim

Tim, that sounds good, but is it realistic?

In my case, I seriously doubt I'll ever be actively sought out by anyone. A better bet for me would be to the first guy who shows my would be girlfriend "any sort of attention."

You know what, I think it is. Loosely. I think he meant sought out in a relationship sense -- not necessarily a friendship sense? I would *LOVE* to become good, honest, friends with someone first, and then have them hit on me and that develop into something, and I think that is something similar to Tim's idea.

Gonna agree with you on that.

However, you have to ask yourself. is a relationship worth it?

disagree with me on this one, but I see way to many of these types of threads on the love and dating section and it irks me.

You guys(and girls) talk about these things, but have you tried to put them into practice, have you gone up to someone (who you like and have a crush on) and asked them out?

With the exception of Tim Tex who I know has had past issues......and others who will remain nameless.

You need to stop complaining, and I'm not saying you are, but it looks like it. you complain about how you can't do it, how its too hard for you.

I know this is going to get me flamebaited(thank you to Slashdot for that word) but I didn't complain about love....I let it find me.

You need to let yourselves open to the whirlings of the world and universe and through that, let what finds you, find you.

that's all I have to say.

I would say I talk about love a lot. My *personal* problem is that I always loose my way while trying to put my ideas into action. What I stated before (about good friends turning romantic) is what I've TRIED several times. (Twice? ) but something always gets mucked up and we end up dating BEFORE I realize we aren't really 100% compatible. With my last 2 relationships, had I known what would have bothered me about them later I would not have gotten romantically involved. It would have just been easier.

But frankly, I think it TOO HARD to do it right. Think about it, NT girls are always gossiping about how they want everything in a relationship to be perfect. That doesn't mean that if it isn't perfect it isn't going to work at all -- that people don't settle on little things. I'm just saying I don't think there is anything wrong with aiming for perfect (like I have been) and accidentally settling (a tad) if you get caught up in it -- at least this way you still have a little fun for a couple of weeks/months.

I want to point out, as I could be wrong, that I think we are agreeing but it sounds like we are disagreeing. Some of us are open to the world, and take things as they come, but what's so wrong about having a little plan of perfection?

Yeah...I'm bitter too.

I think I no longer want a girlfriend.
There's this girl (single as far as I know) that actively seeks my company, we had dinner alone together the other day at her initiative (after we left the pub together at her initiative, we had gone with a number of other people), our behaviour has led some people to believe we're actually dating, etc (she has also explicitly said she does not fancy me so I can't be entirely sure about what she wants). I like her company, I don't think she's unattractive, etc, but I (who has felt chronically desperate at the lack of a gf until very recently) have absolutely no desire to date her (one good thing about traditional roles: I will never have to actually reject explicit romantic advances from her, if those are actually her intentions). Then there are my two latest ex-crushes: one of them, whose personality was solely what attracted me (corny as it may sound, as far as I can tell she has a heart of gold), while she continues to brighten my day when she smiles at me, I do not feel attracted to her at any level any more. the other ex-crush, who is beautiful and has a very good personality, I enjoy her company, we have some common interests, I feel somewhat physically attracted to her, but I wouldn't want to date her. My ex-crushes are both very much taken, but even if they weren't it wouldn't make any difference. Finally, there's this other girl, that ordinarily wouldn't be considered anything special regarding looks, the other day in the rain I thought her wet hair, her serious expression, etc made her look beautiful - but just the type of beauty a landscape might have.
I used to fantasise sexually even about my more attractive female friends (even though in real life i would not have seriously considered having sex with them), I still have a sex drive but masturbation seems the only outlet I actually want. Maybe I have somehow mentally 'castrated' myself. I still enjoy looking at beautiful women, but deep down I don't want a relationship, maybe I have gone without for so long that I'm stuck in single mode.
I'm not particularly depressed right now, I do feel that I have never done anything worthwhile with my life, but I have felt that for a long time, so it's not really relevant to this.

Yes, I realize I truncated most of your post, but only in the interest in cutting down the size of this thread. You know what that doesn't really sound like a bad idea. But the little difference between you and a couple of us is that you hinted that you have female friends.

I don't know about the rest of the people here, but I really only have one friend that I see about once a month. That's why I insist that the primary function of any girlfriend I may or may not have will always be to be my friend. I primarialy want in a partner, companionship.

I am sincerely happy for you that you feel you get sufficient companionship elsewhere, and wish you luck (Though it doesn't sound like you are going through any other trial -- I just didn't know what else to say)

I have up to three female friends (plus a few acquaintances I sometimes talk to) depending on how much you stretch the definition of friendship, but no close friends of either sex. Other than my parents, there is no one I feel close to anymore. This lack of closeness often gets to me, though I certainly felt worse when I had no friends of any type. Closeness was what I had always wanted most in a girlfriend. I have other issues in my life, but at least on the companionship side things have improved.
Anyway, I wish you luck too.