AS or NT: Which do you guys prefer?

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I limit myself to other Aspies because they are less likely to lie or cheat.

Tim

Good discussion ^__^

Problem appears to be that you are both right. May I suggest something though? Men are pigs. That doesn't mean all men are pigs, it just means, that if you look at a guy, he's more likely to be a pig than not likely. (Uhh. I'm just using this as an example -- I'm not trying to go on a tangent, nor will I confirm or deny that I believe my statement is true -- it is an example)

I agree with Tim -- that Aspies have practical moral superiority on the basis of a tendency to be unable to lie (often? well? Throw in whatever conditioner you wish). But that doesn't mean ALL people with AS. But Macallan, that doesn't mean (1) we *have* to also date NT's (2) we must pretend (what I'm going to call) a statistical fact doesn't exist when looking to ask someone out.

An example of what I mean: Male homosexuals. No. Not all homosexuals have loose wrists -- So you can't assume (point 1) that all homosexuals will. But, if you are talking to a gay guy, you can watch his wrists if you want (point 2).

Or does this not make sense to anybody but me?

I base my information on the fact that my first girlfriend (an NT) cheated on me. I had been in one other relationship (with another Aspie) since then, and that relationship ended about 1 1/2 years ago.

Tim

Another issue in finding an Aspie partner would be geographic distance. I am 100 miles from the nearest major city, and the only two people that I know of who would be willing to travel are an 18-year-old emo, and a 46-year-old single mother. (I turn 28 on December 10)

Tim

I think I understand your point.

What I was trying to say was that attraction and love aren't always logical and therefore if anyone yearns for a partner it seems to be unnecessarily rigid to apply preconditions such AS status. Of course no AS person has to date NTs but to decide not to is cutting out a large swathe of potential partners. I am certain that there NTs out there who are honest and loyal, and who would not cheat on a partner. (I have an NT friend with AS traits whose wife cheated on him and left him. It never occurred to him to say 'right, AS people only for me in future'. He's now happily married to a thoroughly NT woman who wouldn't dream of cheating on him.)

And what about the role of pheromones? What would happen if Tim, for example, met an NT woman whose pheromones were a perfect match for his but she is off-limits because of his self-imposed rules regarding her neurological status? To me, that would be a wasted opportunity for a potentially rewarding relationship. I don't believe that there is a distinct, discrete boundary between AS and NT. Both are on a larger all-encompassing spectrum of human neurology and where the two join there must be AS people with NT traits and NT people with AS traits.

No-one wants to repeat a bad experience but just because it happened with one person (NT or otherwise) doesn't mean it will happen with another. People are individuals, regardless of their neurological status. Just look at the wide disparity within the AS spectrum as represented here on WP. None of us are the same.

Good debate, guys

If I can find someone who's at least moderately attractive to me (doesn't have to be anything ridiculous), has a decent degree of social polish, and the hardest part of all - can actually relate to me, I don't care what she is. Even that combination is so hard to get that I feel like I run pretty good odds of never even finding that, getting more particular about it in my case would flat out be stupid.

I prefer Aspies, because they'll often bluntly tell you what they want, and it takes too much energy to have to play detective all the time to figure out what NT women want when they refuse to state it bluntly.

I was married to an Aspie, and she was VERY blunt about what she wanted. It often shocked me, but at least I KNEW, instead of having to guess endlessly with a woman who doesn't want to just tell you straightforwardly. Not that there aren't any bluntly straightforward NTs, but the occurance is higher among Aspies. Also, it would take an Aspie woman to understand me. I'm WEEEEEEIRD in the Aspie ways.

The truth is, most people don't know what they want.

That's true in my case.

Or its just as likely that many may know what they want but have no idea who they'd find it in.

There's also a large number of people who think they know what they want, but once they have it they're still discontent, and they realize that wasn't really what they wanted after all.

Absolutely. However, I will say this about aspie girls (I don't know any in person and perhaps this may be too naive, so if what I write is naive then you are inclined to disagree) - I would feel safer and more secure in the sense that I could probably be certain that they wouldn't play any harsh games... do they? I don't know lol but I know that I don't so I was just wondering if most aspie girls don't either lol.

Does anyone have any preference in terms of low functioning versus high functioning?

I don't think any of us do.

Tim

Well, aren't our low functioning brethren more difficult to take care of?

I haven't really looked into that. I just know that I can't handle the deceitful behavior that I experienced with Claudia (my first girlfriend--the NT).

And not only does anyone I date have to be an Aspie, she also has to be socially and politically liberal, and she has to watch South Park.

Tim