Huh?

Post Reply New Topic

Hot Thoughts

Hot thoughts are associated with much more intense emotions and significant emotional distress (e.g., intense anger, deep depression, feelings of panic). Certainly there are times when it may be appropriate to experience anger, fear, or sadness. Problems occur, however, when people repeatedly experience emotions that are out of proportion to the situation. For example, some drivers experience murderous rage if another driver cuts in front of them on the freeway. What type of hot thoughts might go through a person's mind that would evoke such an extreme reaction? Does the driver who experiences what has been called "road rage" believe (assume) that the other driver cut in front of him deliberately and that this act constitutes an unforgivable personal insult and a major challenge to his integrity as a man? Moreover, does the angry driver believe that because he has been significantly wronged by the other person that he must therefore punish the offending driver?

Hot thoughts are extreme and often represent rigid, dogmatic, and absolute demands. "I absolutely must get my own way," or "I demand that you meet my wishes and desires." Hot thoughts are often expressed as musts, shoulds, needs, ought to's, have to's, etc. The angry driver may say to himself, "if anybody gets in my way, I have to punish them" (even if it means shooting at them). Susan can say to herself, "I just can't stand it when my husband smokes. He absolutely has to quit smoking or I'm going to leave him."

In addition to absolute musts and demands, hot thoughts can also assume the form of "awfulizing" and catastrophizing. A person can say to herself, "this is awful, horrible, or terrible." In the example above, John might say to himself, "It is absolutely terrible that Social Security denied my claim. I just cannot survive unless they give me disability." As a person with chronic pain you might say to yourself, "I can't stand to be in pain like this. If I have to live like this I might as well kill myself." These extreme "hot thoughts" tend to be associated with more extreme and unhealthy emotional reactions. As a result, these hot thoughts usually create much greater emotional distress than is really necessary. In other words, it is not so much the situation itself that makes you upset and miserable, rather it is your thoughts about the situation.

In summary, problems occur when your preferences about the way you would like things to be (warm thoughts) get elevated to absolute demands and musts (hot thoughts). When your preferences are not realized, it is natural to experience frustration, disappointment, sadness, or regret. However, when your demands and musts are not met, you will tend to experience more extreme and potentially self-defeating emotions such as significant anger, depression, or fear."

it is a UK 'tradition' to lose virginity after prom?

It is in America. I think. then again, way too many movies out there say that as well.

Here in Queensland Third Base is First Base and First base is actually Second Base moving Second Base to Third Base. Interesting no?

it is a UK 'tradition' to lose virginity after prom?

Back when I was in high school, I was asked to the prom by four different women. None of them were actually interested in me; they just wanted prom dates (some status thing that I'm not going to even try to understand) and they were just fishing the entire single male student body for one.

Plus, I didn't want to spend $800 on one night (limos, tux's, and hotel rooms are really expensive where I live)

er..........what?

I once read in the Newspaper that Oral intercourse was becomming more prevalent due to fears of STDs among teens.

So there's the perception out there that compared to intercourse, oral sex slows the spread of STDs?