Is Force the Only Way?

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QFT

WTF????

Yeah hope that was a bit of a thick moment...FORCE??

Even non-sexual force, in the form of persistence, is going to get you no more and no less than either a black eye or a swift kick to the nuts. Possibly both. Force is a guaranteed way to NOT get you the girl.






FYI, any guys that are totally lost as to what to do to cure the single syndrome...have a peek around a few of the other subforums as there are a few discussions involving NT women/girls that are currently dating/married to Aspie guys. There are a few the other way around too. There are quite a few of us and we're all about the love...so feel free to pry our minds for insight. It IS possible for Aspie guys to land themselves in happy relationships with either Aspie or NT girls...not ONCE (repeat NOT ONCE) was force used in ANY manner.

In fact, my current relationship started as a friendship - both of us into Subarus in a big way - and blossomed into a romance when HE finally broke the ice and made a few cheeky, dirty comments via MSN. The one thing that held me back from pouncing and groping him the moment I saw him was he gave off a nervous, I-don't-know-what-sex-is vibe that told me to keep it clean, considering I am three years older than him. All it needed was that one spark of sexual interest and four hours of fevered conversation later, it was official

You will find that many of us 'NT women', contrary to the huge and VASTLY INCORRECT assumption that we are all but monkeys lusting after the Alpha Male...we are just as attracted generally to the shy, awkward and seemingly innocent guy as the studly, handsome nymphomaniac with muscles for Africa. There is something irresistable and adorable about geeky guys for many of us...heck, look around WP...the story is the same. Sure, many of us fantasise about smooth, muscular, confident sex-gods, but hey...how many guys dream about perfect, tanned, curvy babes with perfect boobs? Most of us are a little wobbly, a little pale, a little funny-looking but you love us anyway Don't think we hate the nerdy/geeky, awkward guys. We don't. We love ya You just need to give us something to work with - we can't work in a void.

Wait, when you say force do you mean 'being aggressive' in pursuing her?

I am going to assume you don't me rape. Because we all know that will just end you up in jail and on a sexual offender list, not to mention, you will never get a girl again.

The way to get a woman is patience. If Woman A doesn't like you, woman B will or woman C.

There is no reason to 'force' yourself on anyone, No one is worth it. If they are not interested, there is a reason.

I believe he's having the same problems that I am when it comes to forming relationships & dating rather than having a desire to force himself onto women,I could be wrong though & if I am I just have to say to the original poster that such thinking,or attempts get you nowhere but trouble.

You have to put yourself into more social situations & work up the willpower to at least talk to the ladies.Take me for example,I tend to go down to my local Starbucks quite frequently & flirt with the ladies who work there(all of whom have boyfriends ) but it's good practice for me anyway & if you manage to get a nice girl/woman to talk to you DON'T bring up your desires for a sexual relationship with her into the conversation because that is a definite turn off.

You want to establish a friendship first with a person & then see where that leads but for us aspies just establishing a friendship...especially with someone of the opposite sex is challenging enough.Better yet,once you establish a friendship it gives you an opportunity to become part of that person's social circle & through that social group you may have the opportunity to meet a nice single girl/or guy who is looking to start a relationship,that's what I'm hoping to do through the folks I know at Starbucks......now if only the two gals I gave my number to a week or twp ago would just call me!! !

Your first mistake is in establishing a friendship with the girl in the first place. It's ok I did that mistake too many times.

NeantHuman, Im not quite sure what exactly you mean by "Force".
But if you mean it in the physical sense(i.e.: Rape), BE WARNED:
Force will certainly Not get you a girlfriend, instead it
will result in you becoming someone elses girlfriend .

Like This Guy for example: [link to "adult" flash animation hosted on pornographic site removed by gwenevyn]

LePetitPrince: Yes, because restricting yourself to a small room and a computer screen is an AWESOME way to be happy

...and I totally agree with you , you badarse!

Seriously, can you clarify your question, please? Particulalry, some elaboration on "force" and "get" is needed here.

Good fortune,

- Icarus knows Sith use the Force to get girls, but Jedi aren't allowed to...

From the sounds of things I think the OP means that he's literally at his whit's end (kinda like me) with the whole dating process & believes that the only way he can get a girl to go out with him is by force & as we know that's not going to work.

The OP has two choices:1: he can try to socialize more(I know how difficult that can be) & through that socialization he can possibly meet someone. 2: He can just be miserable about his lack of romantic involvement & or just give up trying(sometimes that's what I want to do) & end up just as depressed & in need of treatment/medication as I've become.

All,

I was just especially frustrated about my situation when I wrote the original post and posed the question out of a sense of desperation. I have no intention to force myself on anyone. I also do not know any women who I could "just ask" (not even factoring in that, even if I knew some women, I may not be romantically attracted to any of them).

yeah...don't think you'll get a lot of luck forcing in jail unless your big

Believe me when I tell you this:I share your frustration with being unable to find a GF because I'm in the same situation myself. You can't "just ask" for an intimate relationship with someone else,that's unfortunately not how it works & once again I share your frustration with the whole process because I too wouldn't mind a little intimacy in my life as well but you first must find a person who you can at least be friends with.

Once you make friends with a female aqquantance then,with a little luck things will fall into place at their own pace.Just don't go into a relationship with the goal in mind of getting this girl in bed with you on the first date because that's simply not gonna happen....even as desperate as I am for a GF myself I know that & you should too.