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I Need Your Opinions On A Difficult Situation!

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Gamester
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29 Dec 2007, 3:12 am

Plutonian_Persona wrote:
Felicia wrote:
I meant meet a girl who treats you better. Online dating seems to work for me (even though I think I'm NT, I think it's easier to meet men online).


Oops...I took your sentence a little too literally/pedantically (as usual), my fault! Anyway, it seems like I am attracted to women who have no sense of self-esteem or self-love, but that's probably because I have never really liked or understood myself until now. In fact, all of the women that I have gone out with for the last 10 years, I have met through online dating.


I think the fact that you are planning on marrying this woman(if you are not already married, you hath not said that) is amiable at best, it is in your best interests to get out of there faster then the fall of Iraq. This girl could cause you to have issues the rest of your life, and the fact that you've brought up enough issues as is already, sounds to me like this women is a slob for who:
A) Money is all that matters
B) people are just another way for her to get that money
C) Her entire family history is a bad example of what could happen to you and her (btw, you did not mention the husband, anything about him or is he out of the picture??)
D) Having this thrust upon you, you do not, cannot except to live the rest of your life, inches away from a Jimmy Stewart jump off a bridge. People are not meant to live like this, it isn't human nature.

Get out while you still can.


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Gamester
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29 Dec 2007, 3:13 am

Plutonian_Persona wrote:
Felicia wrote:
I meant meet a girl who treats you better. Online dating seems to work for me (even though I think I'm NT, I think it's easier to meet men online).


Oops...I took your sentence a little too literally/pedantically (as usual), my fault! Anyway, it seems like I am attracted to women who have no sense of self-esteem or self-love, but that's probably because I have never really liked or understood myself until now. In fact, all of the women that I have gone out with for the last 10 years, I have met through online dating.


I think the fact that you are planning on marrying this woman(if you are not already married, you hath not said that) is amiable at best, it is in your best interests to get out of there faster then the fall of Iraq. This girl could cause you to have issues the rest of your life, and the fact that you've brought up enough issues as is already, sounds to me like this women is a slob for who:
A) Money is all that matters
B) people are just another way for her to get that money
C) Her entire family history is a bad example of what could happen to you and her (btw, you did not mention the husband, anything about him or is he out of the picture??)
D) Having this thrust upon you, you do not, cannot except to live the rest of your life, inches away from a Jimmy Stewart jump off a bridge. People are not meant to live like this, it isn't human nature.

Get out while you still can.


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Pandora
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29 Dec 2007, 4:34 am

Whose house is it? If it's yours, she can't kick you out. Just tell her she is a stinky fat slob if she has another tantrum and let her be the one who leaves. For goodness sakes, DO NOT MARRY HER! She's making your life a misery now and it will only get worse if you hitch up. You deserve so much better than this.


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Plutonian_Persona
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31 Dec 2007, 12:37 am

Gamester wrote:
C) Her entire family history is a bad example of what could happen to you and her (btw, you did not mention the husband, anything about him or is he out of the picture??)


My SO's dad has been out of the picture since she was 2, because her mom screwed around a lot when she was younger. Her mom is now married to another loser and, like I said before, refuses to turn her life around (much like my fiancee). In fact, the entire family is drifting through life, amounting massive debt, and gets jealous when anyone they know is successful.


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Plutonian_Persona
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31 Dec 2007, 12:40 am

Pandora wrote:
Whose house is it? If it's yours, she can't kick you out. Just tell her she is a stinky fat slob if she has another tantrum and let her be the one who leaves. For goodness sakes, DO NOT MARRY HER! She's making your life a misery now and it will only get worse if you hitch up. You deserve so much better than this.


We share an apartment and I pay half the rent. I'm giving her until the end of February, and if she hasn't at least turned herself around a little it's all over.

Ha! She even had the balls to complain about her engagement ring recently because it wasn't a diamond!

I just wish that I wasn't so trusting of people.


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gwenevyn
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31 Dec 2007, 1:52 am

February is a long time to wait. If you're unhappy, my opinion is that you would be better off breaking off the engagement now.


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Gamester
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31 Dec 2007, 3:11 am

gwenevyn wrote:
February is a long time to wait. If you're unhappy, my opinion is that you would be better off breaking off the engagement now.


Aye. Why wait til then. break up with her on New Years.

Ouch, on second thought, bad idea. wait til Mid January.


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gwenevyn
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31 Dec 2007, 3:39 am

Gamester wrote:
gwenevyn wrote:
February is a long time to wait. If you're unhappy, my opinion is that you would be better off breaking off the engagement now.


Aye. Why wait til then. break up with her on New Years.

Ouch, on second thought, bad idea. wait til Mid January.


:lol: So maybe I'm a little insensitive.

How about January 2nd? :wink:


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Cyanide
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31 Dec 2007, 4:42 am

Just item #1 on that list made my eyelids fly open with shock. I sincerely hope you're joking....
But if you're not, I recommend leaving if you have that many big complaints about her.



Plutonian_Persona
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31 Dec 2007, 2:00 pm

Gamester wrote:
gwenevyn wrote:
February is a long time to wait. If you're unhappy, my opinion is that you would be better off breaking off the engagement now.


Aye. Why wait til then. break up with her on New Years.

Ouch, on second thought, bad idea. wait til Mid January.


Well, the reason that I have decided on the end of February/beginning of March is because in January there are several important things that will decide the issue once and for all:

1.) She's getting additional help at work that will hopefully decrease her time spent there and
increase her time spent with me.
2.) Her New Year's resolution is to lose weight and to start exercising more.
3.) I've got three job interviews scattered throughout the month.

I want to wait and see what happens, because I believe that anyone can change if they want to and I'm giving her the chance to prove that she is committed to her own well being, as well as our relationship. I know that seems awfully idealistic...


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Plutonian_Persona
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31 Dec 2007, 2:04 pm

Cyanide wrote:
Just item #1 on that list made my eyelids fly open with shock. I sincerely hope you're joking....
But if you're not, I recommend leaving if you have that many big complaints about her.


I wish I was joking, but I am not: she weighed 355 lbs when I met her and actually lost 10 lbs in our first 3 months. However, she currently weighs 415 lbs and there's no end in sight (she ate an entire 10 oz block of cheese, plus bread and cake for dinner last night).

As for the other complaints, well like I said above, she can change those if she wants, but if not...


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AnonymousAnonymous
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31 Dec 2007, 2:13 pm

Get out of this relationship while you still can!

Your GF seems to be emotionally needy and ridiculously immature.


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Plutonian_Persona
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31 Dec 2007, 3:48 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Get out of this relationship while you still can!

Your GF seems to be emotionally needy and ridiculously immature.


Very nice summary AA on both accounts! Once again my attention to small minute details destroys my ability to see the bigger picture: if the family is utterly dysfunctional any product of that environment will be as well.


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fivecents
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31 Dec 2007, 5:55 pm

Focus on what is wrong with you for staying.

Eww, get out. Stat. There is a whole other world out there for you. This is not where you were meant to be. Better alone than in skankville...

Even if you do love her. Love you first.


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Plutonian_Persona
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31 Dec 2007, 6:09 pm

fivecents wrote:
Even if you do love her. Love you first.


Exactly. It's like I said on page 1, for the first time in my life I am actually comfortable with myself, even though I may be outside societal norms. I'm starting to take control of my own destiny and be the person that I want to be. Yet, it's like everyone else has said in their advice to me: I'm going to have to take the leap out of this situation so that I can fly with my own wings. It's a scary time in my life, but necessary to my overall well-being.


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Pandora
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02 Jan 2008, 5:50 am

fivecents wrote:
Focus on what is wrong with you for staying.

Eww, get out. Stat. There is a whole other world out there for you. This is not where you were meant to be. Better alone than in skankville...

Even if you do love her. Love you first.
Yeah, if she wants to wallow in her own pigsty let her, but don't drag yourself down to her level. BTW, she's had plenty of chances to change already. If she was going to make any changes, she would have by now.


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