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Women's Expectations on Dating Sites

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MikeInVa
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31 Dec 2007, 6:14 pm

NeantHumain wrote:
So I finally signed up for PlentyOfFish.com with a sincere account instead of one meant as a prank, but I'm surprised at some of the things women in my age range (~20-25) are putting down. One, for example, said she was looking for "commitment." I'm not exactly sure about all the dating terminology, but how on earth can anyone reasonably expect an utter stranger to have any idea whether they would have any inkling towards "committing" to a long-term relationship (does that mean she expects a proposal in the not-so-distant future?)? Some of them seem bitter as they specify they aren't looking for liars or people just looking for sex. There is a surfeit of fatties, hicks/undereducated types, and single mothers; I don't mean to sound judgmental, but that's all extremely unattractive to me personally. I've also heard the gender skew is something like 10 males to every female, which probably makes the competition fiercer than it is offline (but there's no vaguely intimidating the competition when you never see them! joke, by the way).

How am I, a complete newbie when it comes to this stuff, supposed to make heads or tails of it? I really don't have set expectations; I just want to meet reasonably attractive women, get to know them a little, have some fun, and see where it goes. I don't even have a set type. Seeing the stuningly low quality of so many of these women too was very depressing for me. The act of signing up for an online dating service reeks of desperation. (Of course, that's where spin comes into play: I'm "experimenting" just to expand my chances.)


Online dating sites are very much like social networking sites(facebook,myspace etc) except that the sole purpose of adating website is for bringing singles together online with the hopes of eventually meeting IRL,or at least that's how it's supposed to be.

After I got scammed by someone on one of the dating sites that I signed up for I just don't trust,or recommend them to others.It really hurts when you find out that the person who all of a sudden sends you a response after viewing your profile is only interested in scamming you out of your hard earned money instead of an honest relationship.



LePetitPrince
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31 Dec 2007, 6:54 pm

Space wrote:
Tim_Tex wrote:
And a lot of them are very shallow and more concerned on how much money someone makes or what he looks like, rather than the guy as a person.

That is why I limit myself to other Aspies.

Tim

This is why you are going to be single for a long time. I'm sorry but AS people are less than 1% of the population, you're a nice guy Tim but seriously if you only look for an AS women you eliminate 99% of the female population as potential mates. But you don't seem to care about this so that is fine for you, good luck.


QFT, looking for just aspies is an act of stupidity.



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31 Dec 2007, 7:05 pm

there are plenty of beautiful aspie girls on WP and while some are already in a relationship, many are single. I think it should be hard for most of you to find some female aspie companionship.


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02 Jan 2008, 9:57 pm

one of the most popular (ads on TV, etc...you'd know the name if I said e-...er never mind) places actually 'screens' 'losers' out of the selections. Supposedly (this is another site talking) they've rejected over a million people. There are many names for this, but Social Darwinism seems to be it for me.

That being said, I met my wife online. Been married for 8 years now. It can happen...



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03 Jan 2008, 9:37 am

sarahstilettos wrote:
When a woman says she's looking for commitment, I think all she means is that she wants a monogomous relationship with a view to things eventually getting more serious. The type of men she is trying to put off are the ones who like to see several women at once and would hate to be tied to just seeing one.
Yes, it means she doesn't want a guy who is going to have one or two nights with her and then give her the flick. You get the same trouble with introduction agencies and it's often the ones who say they are "genuine" who are the worst players.


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SavageHerring
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28 Apr 2016, 6:47 pm

lol i'm the fatty on the dating websites



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28 Apr 2016, 6:59 pm

I absolutely hated pof when I was on it. It was difficult to find people who had similar interests and values. Okcupid at least had questions you answer to get higher more accurate matches



JaneBuss
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28 Apr 2016, 8:35 pm

I met my boyfriend on OKC and have several friends who met their spouses on OKC, POF, jdate and match.

I think my expectations were pretty realistic - I was looking for a fun, reasonably cute, well-read, well-educated guy who shared some of my interests (travel, books, foreign policy) who didn't have kids and wanted a serious relationship.



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28 Apr 2016, 11:55 pm

SavageHerring wrote:
lol i'm the fatty on the dating websites


Huh? 0.o



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29 Apr 2016, 1:45 am

Holy crap, this thread is over 8 years old!

Anyway, I opened up to non-spectrum interests in 2013, but I haven't actively pursued anybody lately, and I am not on any dating sites at the moment.


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29 Apr 2016, 1:54 am

NeantHumain wrote:
So I finally signed up for PlentyOfFish.com with a sincere account instead of one meant as a prank, but I'm surprised at some of the things women in my age range (~20-25) are putting down. One, for example, said she was looking for "commitment." I'm not exactly sure about all the dating terminology, but how on earth can anyone reasonably expect an utter stranger to have any idea whether they would have any inkling towards "committing" to a long-term relationship (does that mean she expects a proposal in the not-so-distant future?)? Some of them seem bitter as they specify they aren't looking for liars or people just looking for sex. There is a surfeit of fatties, hicks/undereducated types, and single mothers; I don't mean to sound judgmental, but that's all extremely unattractive to me personally. I've also heard the gender skew is something like 10 males to every female, which probably makes the competition fiercer than it is offline (but there's no vaguely intimidating the competition when you never see them! joke, by the way).

How am I, a complete newbie when it comes to this stuff, supposed to make heads or tails of it? I really don't have set expectations; I just want to meet reasonably attractive women, get to know them a little, have some fun, and see where it goes. I don't even have a set type. Seeing the stuningly low quality of so many of these women too was very depressing for me. The act of signing up for an online dating service reeks of desperation. (Of course, that's where spin comes into play: I'm "experimenting" just to expand my chances.)


Online dating is an exercise in futility unless you get lucky or treat it like a full time job. Personally, I just don't bother anymore.



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29 Apr 2016, 2:35 am

Has anyone ever tried dating agencies as opposed to sites.

There are numerous special needs ones in England that will find you matches also in the spectrum if thats what you wish



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29 Apr 2016, 6:37 am

Free dating sites were like trying to take a class where you need a pass mark of 98%.... and the teacher is an incompetent fool who doesn't even know the answers herself.

The story was the same on every 'free' date I went on (when I was able to actually nail one down): we had a great first date, laughs and smiles all around.... and then complete silence. It starts to mess with your head after a while. When I look back at some of the women who rejected me I laugh and say to myself "YOU rejected ME?"



sly279
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29 Apr 2016, 10:02 am

Alliekit wrote:
Has anyone ever tried dating agencies as opposed to sites.

There are numerous special needs ones in England that will find you matches also in the spectrum if thats what you wish

No such thing here. Really there's no networking at all for singles. Churches here don't even have single groups like I hear others do. There's no speed dating either.



JaneBuss
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29 Apr 2016, 5:11 pm

Free dating sites work just fine and don't take up tons of time if you do up a decent profile with photos, are specific about what you're looking for (casual sex, marriage, whatever) and message/reply to messages accordingly.



sly279
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29 Apr 2016, 6:21 pm

For women maybe.