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These bad experiences would have knocked you confidence, but it is not your fault. I’m sure you can turn things around.

I can only come at this from what I know so bare that in mind.

Undoubtedly there be really happy moments with this fantasy as well as the bad. Over time they would become much more tawdry and fleeting. It could be very miserable indeed. I’ve come to the conclusion that rejection is not as bad as that, not even close. Time heals. Besides the longer you draw it out the worse the rejection might feel, and the harder it is to accept. So given that you want to go out will him, you almost have no choice be to ask him out if he doesn’t ask you out soon. It is easy for me to say of course, I’m hypocrite. Life is to short, though this could be your moment.

Writing is great idea especially since you feel it is easier to expresses yourself that way. If you can express how you feel about him through that medium, take any advantage you have. I’m not one for conventions, bollocks to them.

You might want to ask to see him in a more mutual setting over a shared interest so you are not the one chasing him all the time.

You are smart, if you have to engineer it a little do that. You have done it before you can do it again. Use what you have not what you don’t have.

I'm often aloof and mumble in social situations. Sometimes things just don't go how you want them to and it gets worse. That is why you have to try hard to resist the urge to plan too much when you go out. Last night things were a bit vague and not flowing. I accidentally catapulted one my chopsticks off the table. I laugh now, but my mind went blank and I was stuttering. Fortunately my friend knows me and knows what it is like so it is not the end of the world.

I did manage to turn things around later. I don't know if this would help you but I recommend doing some sort of energetic stim, even before you go out. Just try and create some energy/ch'i whatever you want to call it. I punch myself in the thighs it seems to work. I’m not advocating self harm. I don’t do it to self harm. I do it to express myself. You have get in the right frame of mind, if you are feeling down on yourself and do it because of that it probably won’t help. When I do it I do it sort of rhythmically like a rat-a-tat-tat and smile while I’m doing it. It saved me in this instance. The conversation was a much more flowing and I was more relaxed.

It is quite a robust part of the body so it shouldn’t have any lasting damage hopefully. Do it about half way along the top of the thigh between the pelvis and knee, while sitting. You don’t have to do it very hard to have an effect, but if you want to go at it you’re your punch straight down from around 25cm max

One of the reasons why I think it works is because it releases some tension and also produces some endorphins, which counter balance all the bad adrenaline from the anxiety.

As well as that I would recommend trying to make yourself laugh. I have managed it sometimes. Try and recall something funny. Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly scatter-brained I read something funny like larson comics. Maybe you could indulge some of the good parts of you fantasy and put a humorous spin on it. This helped me with friendship.

Another thing I’ve noticed is, although I have worked on eye contact a lot, if I spend a lot of time face on it gets quite hard. It is a *much* easier side on. I should probably do a thread about this. So maybe try and talk to this guy while standing/sitting beside him rather the in front of him.

All I have to say is that if you like him, but he thinks otherwise, you have to correct that...