I would also tend to think that there is a wide range of how emo one can be. In High school I was generally depressed, wore all black and listened to linkin park, but I didn't wear uber-tight jeans or bangs (I actually have a sensitivity to hair on my forehead), dye my hair, or cut myself... and yet I was referred to as emo for a few months. I now refer to that as my "emo phase", brought on primarily by teen angst (which is really what causes most emos to acquire their emo status)...
As for the OP, emo girls do have some attractive things happening. Dyed hair, tight jeans, and the black colors can be good if done properly, while things such as wrist wounds are less appealing... although the attractiveness of a person in question will not change much when they're compared to what they would look like if they didnt wear emo style...