Let's talk about romantic privacy, guys

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The motivation for posting bits of the conversations is so you can get more accurate advice, based on what the two of you have said to each other. Others can catch things that you missed or tell you if you're misinterpreting someone's words. That said I will remove the quotes from the messages I've traded in the thread I created earlier today; I thought it was important to have them to illustrate what I meant, and I did try to minimize them, rather than posting every last message that was traded. I'm sorry.

At any rate I totally agree that posting peoples' names, screen names or pictures is a bad idea, as is posting a thread about your angst dealing with another WP member who could easily read the thread.

Shes got a point, list the problem and how it can be fixed but dont label anyone to the problem. Dont be a RAT!

This subject is so hard to come to a conclusion on.

I guess maybe the mods can just kind of *nudge* the person into not posting real names?
I actually wouldn't care if anyone posted my name, hell I have my Myspace in my profile. I mean.. what would anyone do to me? I couldn't see much. Im pretty open.

Maybe its different for other people.

This is a great way to chase off females and make this board one big sausage fest.

It comes across as revenge for not getting what they want out of a girl.

Yeah I'd figure this much.

hear hear.

That's part of it, but I'm also seeing threads posting e-mails from girls where there aren't any problems yet. You know, the "this is what she said, what do I do next" type of threads. Probably innocent in intent, but not realizing the potential ramifications.

Tell you what, if I saw one of my private e-mails reproduced verbatim on a forum thread, I wouldn't be very happy with the guy who did it, no matter how happy he'd made me up to that point.

You're right about not making an example of specific members in a thread but I'd add that "ratting" other posters via PM to a mod is completely acceptable. It helps draw our attention to problems more quickly. I usually check my PMs every day but I cannot always read every thread in the forum.

I haven't noticed anything - except one person who posted their own details for all to see.

Do you mean that people get a PM and post the PM on the forum? That would be wrong.

Quoting someone else's comments when given in a forum should be ok... though you should really stick to the same forum.

Basically what was happening is that a few members posted entire emails from girls they met on match sites.

I see no problem with posting conversations if they don't contain private information. The stuff I posted contains nothing too personal and there is no way whatsoever for anyone here to even figure out who the girls are that I posted about.

I completely agree that posting profiles, links to profiles, pictures, names, or any other way of identifying the person is an invasion of privacy.

Yeah, here's another girl that is against guys posting relationship details, conversations with, or pictures of a girl you are involved with or interested in. I know it would make me mad.

It's okay to ask for advice, but you should do it anonymously when possible.

The best thing to do is, when possible, talk to HER about the issue instead of a forum full of strangers on the Net.

I'm one that really values my privacy though.

If something is sent by PM / Email, it's generally considered private.

You can't post private things without the agreement of all parties involved - the sender and the receiver.

You can however discuss issues without quotation and without naming names.

Well yeah, no s---. That's like turning around and punching you in the kidney. Its one thing when something is stripped of user identity and politely paraphrased to keep the things that are unnecessary to the topic out, any more and its really lacking class.

Sure, but that's a totally different thing.