People of the 40-ish age.........

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i dont think you know where either of us are... but i know he considers that, for my behalf, at any rate.

I could almost be that guy. My own situation is very much like his, except that I'm Aspie.

For nearly 2 years, I've had a girl, a little younger than Sedaka, who has been obsessed with me. I like her. She's offered terms which could be very pleasant. I can't go there, though. There are a couple points about her that are unlikely to change that just don't work for me. It has nothing to do with age. Except for those points, it could work. That's not meant to reflect on her, it's just the way it is.

I don't think that age difference is a fundamental obstacle. Clearly some people do. Maybe that's what's happening here.

I think the more likely problem, though, is intimidation. Sedaka, I've looked at your profile, and I can see how most men would be intimidated by your mind. Egos are fragile things, really, and damage to them can be devastating. NTs seem to do better at instinctly protecting theirs subconsciously. Unfortunately, because it's a subconscious process, he may not even know it. If it is, he probably wouldn't thank you for exposing it.

After 2 years, it might be time to move on.

he does science too... which is part of the problem... political issues : /

ill just do what i can....... dunno what else to do.

If he's a co-worker, that's pretty much an insurmountable obstacle for a lot of people.

I don't have to know exactly where you are. He's 39 and you are 26. That is all I need to know. He's been an adult for 21 years. You've been an adult for 8 years!! ! I'd love to have a 26 year old girlfriend when I'm 39, but It'd be silly!

I know a girl that married a 53 year old man when she was 23. They are getting a divorce now, just two years later! Surprise! Surprise! Yes, it is a bigger gap, but that doesn't make your situation less silly, it just makes her situation the sillier of the two!! !

one thing i know is ill never have a calloused heart

Without someone specific to think about, I'd still be comfortable with 30, but would gradually get worried as the age approaches 25.

Last edited by Gromit on 02 Feb 2008, 11:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

Did I say 21 year old looked 16. One of my friends said she was probably lying about her age. But aspies generally don't lie.

Chav, you might want to check her ID. She's probably telling the truth, but you don't much want to be wrong.

Its been noted elsewhere that Aspies often look young. I got accused of having a fake ID when I was 28.

This means one thing: You have a fetish toward old men ...many girls are like you. They don't see guys of their own age as mature enough.
It's not a coincidence that you've dated someone of the age of your father and now you are in love with someone 39 yo . Period , face the truth!

I think in psychology this is called Daddy's girl or something .....I can't remember the exact psychological label of this case but there are 2 theories explain why girls love older men:

-For evolutionary reason: Evolutionary psychologists think that: Older men = higher status = wealthier , They believe that women look for the signs of maturity in men because a mature man is likely to be a comparatively wealthy and resourceful man.
-For psychological reasons: Freudians think that girl prefer older guys because they remind them of their father , when a little girl wants something she usually go to her father rather than her mother , so she usually view her father as her protector and provider. These are good examples: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/f ... ge_id=1879


geez, you girls are really messed up creatures , that 's one of the reasons why I don't believe in the Bible/Qur'an God , because a 'father' God ( = male god , judeo-christian-Islamic God is always referred as male) wouldn't be able to create such complicated creatures like you .....j/k ***runs away***

eh, my best relationship was with someone my age. i don't wanna think about what happened there.

dated only 3 older people, but mostly my age.

i do agree... WOMEN ARE NUTTERS... don't need a God or anything to contribute to that truth.


just wish i werent......... how i am.

i sometimes think this situation is inducing bipolar into me (not REALLY, just ranting). i'm down so much at times... until i just breakdown and then im fine for a while... but it eventually comes back.

^^^[Typical Opportunist Guy exploiting a soft point in a girl] Ohh ....you shouldn't be so depressed about yourself , you should be proud with your femininity . I can see that you have a lot of femininity just by looking at your picture , you are a truly gorgeous ...no wonder why older guys lust for you . You just need self-esteem boost because you lack love. Say, what about dropping me a pm ? I would be glade to have a nice chat with a such smart beauty like you (which is rare) .....and who knows? Maybe it would be a start of something nice [/Typical Opportunist Guy exploiting a soft point in a girl]

Hmmmm, I wonder WHY

I don't know what the question is, but a young lady like Sedaka would be every old man's fantasy.

^^ true , she's pretty , smart , scientist , wow addict ....what more can you ask?

As a 40 year old man I will never date a younger woman ever again. I tried this after I got divorced and quickly found out that all they wanted was my house, a meal ticket and a sperm donor. They had absolutely no interest in me as a person. Sorry, been there, done that and I'm not doing it again. Aspie men are better off with older women.It sounds to me like you are really searching for a surrogate father and not an equal partner.