If you have Aspergers what do you want in a relationship?

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ToadOfSteel
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12 Feb 2008, 10:11 am

zee wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
zee wrote:
I would like a guy with who I could travel the world together, and then settle down and have kids. Our relationship would be based primarily on friendship and understanding. If I can't find such a man, then I'd rather be single. :)


If you didn't have 7 years on me, I'd take you up on that...


I'm sure there are plenty of similar-minded women in your age group Toad. :wink:


heh... I wish... I feel like I'm the only 20 year old person out there who wants to settle down, though...



sands
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12 Feb 2008, 10:35 am

I have always hated the clingy types. I like to spend small amounts of time each week with someone and I hate when they feel the need to hang on me all the time. Sometimes I feel so weird........


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zee
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12 Feb 2008, 2:24 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
zee wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
zee wrote:
I would like a guy with who I could travel the world together, and then settle down and have kids. Our relationship would be based primarily on friendship and understanding. If I can't find such a man, then I'd rather be single. :)


If you didn't have 7 years on me, I'd take you up on that...


I'm sure there are plenty of similar-minded women in your age group Toad. :wink:


heh... I wish... I feel like I'm the only 20 year old person out there who wants to settle down, though...


I doubt that, I think many people want some sort of permenancy. But make sure you see something of the world, and get to know your partner better, before you do settle down.



ToadOfSteel
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12 Feb 2008, 5:19 pm

I did do quite a bit of travelling as a child... my aunt took me to so many places (mostly in the US though)... and since right now what I want most of all is a stable relationship, I don't feel like traveling much, unless that's what my partner wanted to do and we went many places together as part of the relationship experience...



LVBen
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12 Feb 2008, 6:33 pm

sands wrote:
Do you want to be in a relationship or prefer to keep things casual? Also do you have problems with making the first move?


Right now, I'm keeping things casual. If I found a really great girl, then I would possibly do a relationship. Though, relationships scare the s**t out of me, even though I've had a couple of good ones.

No, I definitely don't have problems with making the first move. I often do make the first move, but I expect to have it reciprocated after I make the first move.



techstepgenr8tion
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12 Feb 2008, 6:58 pm

Someone who can see the best in me and who's presence energizes me. Likewise I'd want to make her feel great about herself or just great in general. It seems like I have figured out one thing, I'm a bit reserved on a lot of fronts with this and I'd prefer a girl who is more of a behavioral initiator - just because I can stay where I'm at my strongest and I know I can give back pretty well when someone gives me energy or certain social patterns to work with; originating them definitely isn't my strong suite (at least with things that are a bit outside my normal range). I've also noticed the who, how, what social group they're from, none of that really seems to matter - its a meeting of minds and sparks; with those two things she could just as easily be kinda preppy, kinda ghetto, kinda gothy, with the kind of mutual respect that I'd want factored in it seems to dwell a good ways outside those sorts of confines.



Kenya
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01 Jul 2016, 7:13 pm

I've honestly never had a girlfriend my whole life, but I'd want a girl who's supportive, has a strong faith based lifestyle, and is open to intimacy. I'd hope that it would eventually lead to marriage. The one thing that's a major turn off for me (and I hope I don't sound really shallow here) is any girl who's a smoker. I've already lost a grandma to Stage 4 lung cancer and I'd prefer not to go through anything like that again.



nick007
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01 Jul 2016, 9:08 pm

When I was single I wanted someone to spend the rest of my life with. I do have problems making the 1st move but I've done it & got rejected every time. My current girlfriend & my 1st ex made the 1st move with me & me & my 2nd girlfriend both sort of made the 1st move.


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Galymcd
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05 Jul 2016, 1:07 am

Someone who accepts me for who I am. Apparently that's too much to ask, or I'm far more deeply flawed than I realise, cuz' I'm perpetually single. :skull:

Though for physical standards, 4/10 or above.



lidsmichelle
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05 Jul 2016, 10:37 am

Someone who can deal with my issues and be understanding. Someone who can be focused on me without being too focused (there's a balance lol - too focused is obsessive and alarming). I want someone who is funny and emotionally supportive and who understands me really well and accepts the stuff they don't understand. I want to be with someone who cares about others and cares about changing the negative things in the world. And of course I want someone who likes going hiking and can cook with me. Hypocrital or not, I'd rather not date someone else with aspies - other autism sure, but not aspies. I could not handle being with someone who is ignorant to my emotional state. It wouldn't end well.


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05 Jul 2016, 10:41 pm

I would like a reliable, stable relationship. I really do wish for a person who shares my interests and can accompany me to activities. I think I would prefer another Aspie, or at least someone who understands or is willing to understand my sensory issues and need for quiet down-time. I am not good at making the first move, and I do not seem to get many offers. The whole thing is just so difficult. I am pretty content on my own but I do sometimes envy couples who share so much in common and have been together for years.


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