Being Bitter Not Going to Help you Get a Woman

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It's a negative that helps balance out the positive emotions, that's the purpose it serves. Without sadness, happiness could not exist, and vice-versa.

Who say that. It is biologically possible for someone to be happy and never bitter. You got to ask yourself, would that person be able be succesful in the modern world.

incidentally, since joining this forum, I have added 'Must genuinely LIKE women! in a general sense' to the top of my mental list of wants in a man.

Many have spoken on the importance of balance, Lao Tzu being one example - a lot of these perspectives surfaced in Taoism. I believe emotional balance has been preached by many philosophers since, and can be found in Psychology as well.

The idea is that all humans are predisposed to feel negative and positive emotions by nature. If all we felt were positive emotions, how would we define them as such? There must be other states of mind which differ, in order for a contrast to be drawn.

I would say there are three major categories which states of mind fall into. Positive, Negative, and Neutral states. Neutral is devoid of either negative or positive, completely emotionless. Buddhism talks about balance and moderation, the key is aiming for a healthy center between the positive and negative extremes. I'm not going to get into everything here, anyone interested can read up on it easily enough.

Not until it gets scientifically tested anyway... It works quite well as an hypothesis in psychology... many people have defense mechanisms that function to protect themselves from societal pressures...

I am not bitter , I just have an extreme evolutionary view about everything in life including relationships....and evolution and natural selection are very bitter , the truth of things is always bitter.

Wrong!

The truth about pie is that it's delicious...




not bitter.

^^ ...and one day you won't able to taste this pie because you are going to die and be a worms colony.

So how does this defense help them in an NT world. Or better still what gives a defensive guy the edge other someone who simply does not give a damn and just gets on with life.

Because certain men have characteristics which women find attractive in spite of how these men treat women.
Men who are athletic, suave, socially skilled and/or Very High Status will trigger biological imperatives in women.
Pro athletes are notorious for their misogyny and mistreatment of women in their lives but there actually ARE women out there
who put up with it! How you treat members of the opposite sex has very little effect on how attractive they find you(sexually in particular). I remember 10 years ago(EXACTLY) when I was single and hadnt yet had a gf and I went around talking b*****s and ho's. Low and behold that november I MET my first gf
So Aridarr, I ask you: how can women expect men to love them if they hate men, eh?

I think being bitter is a consequence of misusing the denial defense mechanism. The truth that "I am not successful in relationships and need to change my behavior" might be too painful for someone to accept. So, he will create an alternate explanation to explain the repeated failures in connecting with other people: "All women are b*****s". This puts the blame on an external source instead of an internal one and allows him to avoid the painful reality that he needs to check himself.

Chav. Not all behaviors must have an evolutionary advantage.. Many human behaviors around today do not. Take depression. It's highly maladaptive and I suspect a very bitter person is too. Who wants to date someone who is bitter about their partner? They won't have a very good chance to reproduce, comparatively.

This is not true. It is not possible for someone to be 100% happy forever without the intervention of drugs that don't exist yet. This has been researched and explained scientifically - it's called the hedonistic treadmill. Let's say you work at a job and you earn $45,000 a year. You get a promotion and now you earn $70,000 a year for doing the same thing. You become happy because of the change in circumstance. Now, some time later (it may be a year or more), this is no longer a source of happiness for you. You are "used" to the $70,000 lifestyle - you become accostumed to it, and this way of life for you is your new neutral baseline. This is biological. All happiness is fleeting due to the way the brain works.

This is veering off topic, There's an interesting book about this and how we might be able to change this in the future here: http://hedweb.com/hedethic/hedonist.htm

Yup, but their skin is orange from spending too long in the tanning salon and you have to buy them off with handbags afterwards.




I don't think many women do actually hate men. I've been treated horribly in the past but I have the decency not to transpose those crimes onto half of the human race.

Thankyou for making this thread. The 'don't trust anything women say' thread, which eventually turned into the 'all NTs are lying twats' thread really pissed me off and I'm glad someone agreed with me.

Dinko - it is true that some women (especially naiive ones who think things like 'I will heall him with my love! Then he'll be nicer to me,') will put up with a tremendous amount of BS from an otherwise attractive man. However, if you take two men who are equally athletic, equally rich, and equally high status, the as*hole is going to be at a disadvantage with women compared to the non-asshole.

Yes. Precisely...It works both ways.

Well done for pointing that out... I never would have thought of that.

I'm going to ignore the rest of your post as to honour it with a reply would be an insult to your supposed intelligence.