First message, online dating...

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Okay, so I've been using eHarmony for a couple of months. I just about gave up on the site, I did not connect with anyone. And could tell that most were a completely different sort of person than who I'd want to be with.

I really started to loathe that site.

But, a girl initiated communication... which hardly ever happens with my profile. At every step she seems great, and so far I really like her. And the steps flew by faster than I've ever seen on this site.

So now it's down to the first real communication, and I want to be casual and fun... like I know I can be. But at the same time, I am rarely in contact with someone like her... who also seems to like me so far.... so I'm crossing my fingers that I don't screw any of this up. But in all of this is the hesitation, which is magnified by the online nature of this... and I get a sort of writers block.

So here are a few things I want to know first, basically if they are good ideas or bad ideas.

Getting a phone number early and using that instead of online communication... is this a bad move? I really would prefer it, but I don't know how weird it is for the girl to talk on the phone so soon. I have the impression that it would be almost stalker like if I ask for it early... but this probably isn't true.

How much should I say that I like her? I really do like her so far. And would like to express it, but I know I can go overboard with this expression. But then I don't express anything... so it goes nowhere that way too. Should I say it in the first message?

How long after the first communication should I ask for a date? This is often a fault of mine... I wait way too long... and just let these sort of things fizzle. I don't want that to happen here.

If I chat on IM or over the phone, how do I properly end the conversation? I always seem to have it go on too long, then it seems forced... especially with IM. I am really confused by IM, since I'll still be online... but don't feel compelled to talk...it comes to pass that I don't contact when we are both online.... even though I want to develop something. Gah, I hate IM. I'm just not going to go down that path, it's just too risky. Only after we know each other.

How short should I keep emails between each other, I can go into diatribes which don't seem to be reciprocated in length. Which I am fearful of... it may or may not seem... needy or something. The other could just be shy... but I'd rather to get her talking more in emails. Any guidelines as far as this goes?

I know I'm over thinking all this stuff... but any pointers could really go a long way I think. Especially from girls who have experience in the online dating scene, and what woos ya and what doesn't.