Trying to ask a girl out but I think I might have a hurtle

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Praetor2379
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16 Mar 2008, 7:09 pm

If I am honest over the issue with the picture, will that help my chances. I am concerned the picture business will make or break any possible relationship.


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16 Mar 2008, 7:46 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
"Unfortunately I don't. :( It's really too bad, too, because you're a great artist.

What would you say to [doing xyz activity] with me on [specific date and time]? It has been way too long since I've seen you."


gwenevyn has this correct as well. Send her a PM. Be honest about not having the picture but then try to steer the conversation to where you want it to go, spending time with her.



Praetor2379
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16 Mar 2008, 8:45 pm

If we do date when is an appropriate time to ask for sex?


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gwenevyn
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16 Mar 2008, 8:49 pm

And Praetor, I don't think the picture issue will make or break it. I think what she really wants to know is whether you value her presence. The picture is just a symbol. If you can let her know in other ways that she is special, that will make up for not having kept the picture she made for you.

As for sex... uh... you don't. Are you joking?


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16 Mar 2008, 8:52 pm

Sex is far more complicated. I wouldn't worry about sex for a while. If I were you the thing that would be driving me crazy would be a kiss! Now in my experience and the experience of a handful of male friends, women will usually try very, very hard to let you know when to kiss them, although us Aspies can miss it. Sometimes they may even become impatient and kiss you. It is important to be mentally prepared for this because it can be very surprising and something of a paradigm shift when it happens. Try to spend some time with her and get to know her as a person. I have found that it is best to let the woman lead the way when it comes to sex. Just work on your immediate assignment.



Praetor2379
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16 Mar 2008, 9:09 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
And Praetor, I don't think the picture issue will make or break it. I think what she really wants to know is whether you value her presence. The picture is just a symbol. If you can let her know in other ways that she is special, that will make up for not having kept the picture she made for you.

As for sex... uh... you don't. Are you joking?


No, I am not talking about immediately either. How is sex suppose to happen? Does it just happen, badda-boom, badda-bing!


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Praetor2379
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16 Mar 2008, 9:10 pm

Here's what I wrote on her Facebook wall:

I hope so. I'm pretty sure its somewhere, but I am not exactly the most organized person. It was a beuatiful picture though, you have a really good talent. Why do you ask?


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16 Mar 2008, 9:31 pm

Praetor2379 wrote:
Here's what I wrote on her Facebook wall:

I hope so. I'm pretty sure its somewhere, but I am not exactly the most organized person. It was a beuatiful picture though, you have a really good talent. Why do you ask?


As I've said, how to handle the picture is a judgment call. In terms of sex, for people your age it very rarely, if ever, happens instantly. It only happens when you have mastered the basics; when you're completely comfortable with yourself and the other person. It is something that requires an incredible amount of trust and is the most personal thing that can ever happen to you. Truly, you must work on being friends for a long time first.



Praetor2379
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18 Mar 2008, 5:36 am

alright an update. She wrote on my facebook "I was just wondering if you get it man" I asked her if she wanted to go to a movie or get coffee.


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18 Mar 2008, 5:59 am

Praetor2379 wrote:
alright an update. She wrote on my facebook "I was just wondering if you get it man" I asked her if she wanted to go to a movie or get coffee.


Yes, it sounds as if we were correct! Let us know if she decides to take you up on your offer.


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Praetor2379
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20 Mar 2008, 6:26 pm

Okay, Ive asked her but she's now ignoring my letters/


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KingofKaboom
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20 Mar 2008, 6:41 pm

Hmmm do you KNOW she is ignoring you I thought a girl I liked was ignoring me b/c she didn't reply to my e-mails but a few days later shows up and sits next to and we start talking turned out my e-mails never even got to her apparently that happens alot b/c I don't get them from one of my instructors either. I'm gonna be honest most of the time I think a girl dislikes me I try to cut it off b4 she can tell me and hurt my feelings but I usually just find out later she did and I messed up. I suggest just wait wait wait let her move don't harass her if you see her say hi and smile and move on she'll get you if she wants to.


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20 Mar 2008, 7:22 pm

Just chill and give her some space to process this. I think she's liked you for a long time and doesn't understans why it's taken you so long to
'get it." Just leave her alone for awhile, she'll come around.


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Praetor2379
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21 Mar 2008, 12:32 pm

UPDATE: I got turned down. She didn't want to go out. Here's what she said:

"sorry not looking for that"


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gwenevyn
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21 Mar 2008, 12:39 pm

Aww... that sucks. I'm sorry. It looks like we were wrong.

Weird.

Do you think the drawing was supposed to be some kind of joke or insult then? I wonder what you were supposed to "get"?


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Praetor2379
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21 Mar 2008, 12:43 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
Aww... that sucks. I'm sorry. It looks like we were wrong.

Weird.

Do you think the drawing was supposed to be some kind of joke or insult then? I wonder what you were supposed to "get"?


No, I asked her to draw me it. It didn't mean anything; the only peculiar thing about it was the heart.


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