Can good communication skills be learned?

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They definitely can be learned...you'd be surprised how many mistakes I made with regard to "common sense" matters, and quickly learned not to do them again so I wouldn't make a fool of myself...

I think it can be learned.

Yes, to an extent. Someone with deficits in communication abilities compared to others may not be able to communicate as well as someone who is a natural at it so to speak, but with enough practice I don't see why they couldn't be good. Maybe not great, but that's just part of the cards we're all dealt.

They can be learned.

Please allow to explain Logically why communication skills can be learned.
"Communication Skills" has the word "Skill" in it and people aren't born with any skill. Some people Pickup on skills faster than others, some people aren't as skilled as others and some people aren't skilled at all in one or more areas, therefore.

Communication Skills is a Skill.
Reading is a skill.
There are People who can read but, don't know how.
There are People can talk to people in a socially acceptable way but, don't know how.
People who don't know how to read can learn to read later in life.
People who don't know how to talk to people in a socially acceptable way can learn later in life.
A 8X-year-old Man who quit School in the Great Depression to work to support his family can learn to read.
A 40-year-old Virgin can get Hitched!! !

Last edited by Commodore256 on 03 May 2008, 4:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

People are still born as NT or aspie.

They CAN. This is not arguable, It's FACT. You can always learn communication skills. Always.

hey, sorry I don't know the history here...have you met in person? Is this someone you've known for some time? You know, it may be as simple as there is no "right" chemistry between you. Nothing to do with communication or personality. Just, you know..move on, find someone with whom you have chemistry. There won't be a need to try so hard to make yourself understood, the person will meet you half-way

hmm, I think that good communication skills can be learned. I've gotten much better with time. :D ooo, what part of Alaska are you from, northern_light_girl?

If she's on the spectrum she may have set certain rules of selection that she won't bend. I've done it myself - actually, to myself.

And I have learned communication skills and changed my personality. I wasn't always this shining example of goodness and light.

Nope. "abusive, violent, drug-addicted, alcoholic" are activities, not character. Lazy is character trait. Mind you, character traits are part of the personality. But type of humor, how you communicate, what you find interesting (Sponge Bob ), etc. are extremely important, although it's like asking whether the interior of a car, or the comfort of a car is more important.

You know the word "chemistry"... It's meshing of two personalities. Sometimes honest people may not be attracted to overly honest people. Personalities (and "character") are not good v. bad, as you full well know. Being violent is "bad", but being able to defend yourself, or not being overly passive, is "good". Being an alcoholic is "bad", but being able to relax and have a drink is "good". But the lines we each draw for what is "bad" and what is "good" are different than the next person's.

Hope it works out for, Tim. This early part of a relationship seems to be a real make-or-break. If she decides not to go for it, don't let it get to you. She's just making a choice for herself, based on what she's wanting.

I've met her in person several times, and have been corresponding with her for a year. But we got separated geographically due to us going to different schools.

She was the only one I had anything in common with as far as interests and religion goes.

Well, I'm an 'aspie,' and I learned them well enough. Hell, I learned them before I was diagnosed, and I do just fine.

I'm walking, talking proof that they can be learnt.

I used to have zero friends, no sense of tact, and awkward silences were in abundance.
I'm not really any more tactful than I ever was (but for completely different reasons,) it's just that I learnt how to hold a conversation.