Scared to initiate?

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Bullseye!

Oh no, I've been found out.

Miss, it does sound like you need to get to know people first. Nothing wrong with that, though it is a bit more of a challenge to get things off the ground with a lot of people.

I also have problems getting to know people. I just can't open up to anybody. It takes a long time, for me to be able to trust someone, enough to open up to them. It has been my experience, that women lose interest in me, before I've even had a chance to reveal my true self, to them. It's that whole lack-of-confidence thing, along with AS. Probably some child abuse/abandonment issues, as well.

When I get rejected by a girl, I feel really, really bad. I feel like I did something wrong and that I'm a bad person for this. I once got drunk until passing out just because a girl said she didn't wanted to go out with me on a date.

I know it's silly and illogical but yes, I am scared s**tless of approaching women I find attractive. Unless it's online. On the internet I have far less fear, even if I know them in real life.

Often my problem is I can't find a good time to do it--it always seems like it'll be rude to interrupt what they're doing, and they're ALWAYS doing something, be it reading or talking to a friend or listening to music or dancing or whatever. Gaaah.

I just wish girls would approach ME. Well, ones I found attactive. It seems like every confident girl who is attracted to me is quite hideous to my eyes....

Last edited by Veresae on 02 Apr 2008, 7:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I always initiate now. It's finding someone I may actually be interested in dating (and who is equally interested) that's difficult.

I used to be that way but now I take the philosphy "Screw her I'm too good for her anyway"

I sort of have this problem. Except that it has nothing to do with rejection. I've faced rejection before (although it was rather soft), and I didn't get worked up over it. It's just a plain irrational fear that makes no logical sense whatsoever.

I'm getting over it though, amazingly I have a date for my senior prom now, which is coming up in under a month now. And while I still have trouble initiating a conversation with her (or even walking up to her), once I get started I can easily continue a perfectly coherent conversation.

This fits me perfectly.

Yes pretty much.

Not necessarily afraid of rejection...I'm really, REALLY used to it by now. I currently don't like anyone at the moment, perhaps due to my major (not many computer science girls whom aren't taken). For the past year I've been fine single...but a part of me is getting a little annoyed at the prospect of not being in a single meaningful relationship upon exiting college. If you actually believed in psychoanalysis, you'd probably say both my id and superego are very strong and I'm a very internally conflicted person. My id is telling me "eat, sleep...find something for sex..." while the superego says..."BAD MIKE! BAD BAD MIKE!! ! GET BACK TO STUDY!! !!" My ego of course tells me that looking for girls probably will lead to trouble in general so there is more reluctance in that field aside from simple rejection as a possibility.