What would aspies like NTs to know?

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sinsboldly
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31 Mar 2008, 1:21 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
hartzofspace wrote:
1. Please do not use a really loud voice when talking to me in a social setting. I start to panic and seek an early, rapid escape.
2. Please don't expect me to accept an invitation to hang out, spontaneously. I have to take an internal inventory, to see if I am up for it.
3. Please don't touch, without permission! Give me time to know and trust you.
4. Please don't expect me to hang out in noisy, busy environments, unless you want to see my unpleasant side.
5. Please don't say, even jokingly, "You're Weird!" And please, please don't get emotional! I will shut down.


I don't know if some of those things are so universal. I personally don't care if my (hypothetical) woman wanted to touch me (just don't blatantly grope me in public :P ), and if someone says "You're weird" to me, I take it as a compliment, regardless of whether they meant it or not (but then again, I've been exposed to more sarcasm and banter than most people get in a lifetime thanks to the way family gatherings go in my house...)

Personally, I also have a problem with last-minute invitations myself; everything has to be planned out for me at least a week or so in advance. However, that also depends on the person, and there are some aspies out there that can deal with last-minute changes.

The not wanting to go to busy environments is usually seen across the board though, as 99% of aspies I know are easily overwhelmed by something such as, say, a bar or club setting. Some can manage to train themselves to be able to survive out there (mostly to meet new women), but I don't really know any aspies that truly enjoy such busy places...

If you're with an aspie (or someone you suspect is an aspie), the rule of thumb is to talk about things with your partner and know what their individual issues are. It won't be easy going at first, as both of you may have forgotten something that may surface later, but as it all gets worked out, it will become easier...


someone starts out a list and people respond to the OP and then someone responds to what someone else said and starts picking it apart.

she wasn't posting because it was UNIVERSAL, she was posting because someone asked HER. If you have your own list, by all means share it, but don't pick on just one of the lists and say how it's not what YOU would have listed.

Make your own list, dude.

Merle


And then another someone decides to lampoon the "someone else" because he doesn't like what "someone else" said for some reason...


French lampon, perhaps from lampons, let us drink (from a common refrain in drinking songs), first person pl. imperative of lamper, to gulp down, of Germanic origin.]

1. A written attack ridiculing a person, group, or institution. .
2. A light, good-humored satire


if you thought that was satire or ridicule. . . you haven't read my other posts on WP.

Merle



D1nk0
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31 Mar 2008, 1:48 am

1)Say what you Mean and Mean what you say!

2)Do NOT play romantic or social games....dont be manipulative.

3)Try to be as direct as you can-if I dont pick up on subtle hints than just say it out loud to my face.

4)Do NOT "cut me off" without telling me so and giving at least some explanation why.

5)Dont flirt with me unless you are truly interested/attracted

6)Do not try to vent your frustrations on me that are not my fault-i.e., dont use me as a punching bag



MissConstrue
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31 Mar 2008, 2:18 am

This would include aspies as well as NTs. It would be nice if you didn't judge me right off the bat by the way I sound, sometimes my thoughts are hard to implement through communication as it is an aspie trait. I would also like all NTs and aspies to know I do not take cues very well espeacially sarcastic ones, they're a waste of time and don't always make since to me. NTs and Aspies need to just be open and direct with me. Besides that, just treat me like any other human being and we'll be fine.


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ToadOfSteel
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31 Mar 2008, 8:24 am

MissConstrue wrote:
This would include aspies as well as NTs. It would be nice if you didn't judge me right off the bat by the way I sound, sometimes my thoughts are hard to implement through communication as it is an aspie trait.


Amen to that...

And yet, that's what is happening to me in this thread...



D1nk0
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31 Mar 2008, 11:19 am

And Another thing: I strongly prefer to socialize with people in private rather than in public. I suppose there are NTs like that too huh :lol: .



Social_Fantom
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31 Mar 2008, 12:08 pm

Exactly, it's hard enough for me to communicate well with one person. If you want to talk to me, don't bring all of your friends.


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D1nk0
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31 Mar 2008, 12:12 pm

Social_Fantom wrote:
Exactly, it's hard enough for me to communicate well with one person. If you want to talk to me, don't bring all of your friends.


I can socialize with a group of people, just not in a public place like a bar, club, or cafe'(or even on mass transit). Parties are a little different because to some extent they're slightly more private-everyone there has been invited.