Any AS guys manage to become "bad boys?"

Post Reply New Topic

I'm not looking to argue with you, I just want you to understand why I said that.

You say that like it's not right. Alot of people don't realise when they're doing something. In fact, that's alot of the problem with autism in the first place. I know you don't like the thought of someone saying they know aspects of someone else better than that person knows those aspects of themself, but it's entirely possible.

Just because a person might disagree with you when you point out their flaws, doesn't mean they aren't flawed. Otherwise we could all diagnose ourselves with Autism, because afterall, how could a psychologist's opinion on our personality matter more than our own?

I'm sorry if you disagree, but the fact is alot of women let their emotions cloud their judgement. They feel a certain way about a certain type of person and suddenly that guy is the smartest, kindest guy in the world.

All men generalize= Fact.

Not all guys. In fact I've met some really nice guys on WP. I have to say, I must not fit the statistic.

Actually, most of the those women think "oh, he's a jerk now, but I can make him see that and change him into the nice guy I want him to be". 2 years later all they have to show for it is a history of black eyes and a restraining order.

I definitely didn't generalise. I made a point of saying "alot" and even included the disclaimer "I haven't met them all".

Unless that was a joke, seeing as that sentence qualifies as a generalisation.

...you may want to read the small print she put in that post.

oh right enough. Fair play to you.

lmao, just because a person doesn't talk about the different philosophical themes doesn't mean that he, or she, isn't deep.

Despite the fact that everyone has their own personal philosophy in life, whether it's consciously known or not., you don't have to be deeply involved in philosophy to be considered "deep". The way I've seen this word "deep" thrown around in high school, I saw people who thought they were deep just because they were some sort of "poet", but were, succinctly described previously, a "psuedopoet".

Not all men are the same and not all women are the same.

Depth is wisdom. Some of the deepest people I've ever known where in fact very simple thinkers - old folks who had the life experience to distill things down to the very essence of what is really important.

I've never met a high school kid that had any idea of what that actually means. They don't even know enough yet to understand how much they don't know.

In my opinion,

You can be a bad guy. It is just a matter of switching your mentality. But it is not really a good idea unless that is who you want to become.

Girls like ass holes. They like it because there are so many "nice guys" and "lame guys" and that one guy who doesn't give a f**k about them (the bad boy) is different and desirable by many women.

Potentially part of the equation is age. I find that women older than 24 are much more receptive to nicer guys. Not push overs mind you but genuinely nice guys who keep their more abrasive attributes hidden out of maturity and respect.

Where as the younger girls 22 and under are less into nice guys. My hypothesis is that the difference between these girls/women is experience. The more jerks you date the less attractive they become. And the more mature they become the more women realize that jerks are nothing special.

So for me I am learning the balance. Sometimes I am a jerk in the sense I bust girls breasts and poke fun at their insecurities. But then I am also caring, listen to them, and make sure they feel like princesses.

You can take some of the "bad boy" tendencies EG playful banter and laid back tendencies

For aspies this is a very social related task. So prepare for difficulties along the way, I know I do. And every time I fail I know what works and doesn't work...

The other day I strait up told a girl what I was thinking. "Nice legs" I said. She turned around and was interested...never in a million years would I have expected it to work like that but it did.

It's a long battle. Just keep your head up and your confidence strong.

-Zane

Wow, not to be anything but observant here is my take on this reply.

Holy cows man, learn to take a compliment.

A simple thank you would have easily worked. That's another thing that keeps a lot of aspies out of the dating world. We talk way too damn much. Yeah we think a lot and have a lot going on upstairs but seriously I have taught myself there is a time and a place for everything even my opinions. Now I focus on the women herself more than me.

But an insiders tip. All "Alpha" males know how to take a compliment.

With a thank you and a smile.

-Zane

I don't think it was a compliment. She was being somewhat sarcastic, and she was apparently annoyed by the fact that a man was saying he knew about a woman's motivations better than she did herself.

But if that was a compliment, i'm sorry for droning on.

Yeah you are right. Potentially it was sarcasm. If she is a strong woman than it was sarcasm.

Either way, a Thank you works. When a girl gets smart with me, and gets sarcastic, and attempts to get my goat I simply say...Thank you.

Magically the tables turn. I don't know man. I guess you could ask her.

Just be careful about posting. Last week I got in a lot of trouble over junk like that.

Posted a bunch of stuff and then some how it got to a city rep and then I had two choices leave the city or print a retraction bulletin.

-Zane

When a guy gets smart with me, I get sarcastic.

I stand by what I said, I agree that sometimes you know more about a person than a person knows about themselves. However, if I were to make the same blunt generalizations about guys, would you take it?

Probably not.

thanks for the advice. I do annoy people when I keep going on about things.

In reference to what you said about women's age, and how they view nice guys, I did have a good experience whilst doing a summer Biology bursary in college. A woman I was assigned to work with, a 24 year old student (beautiful), was completely shocked I didn't have a girlfriend. She and her friends though I was a nice guy, and somewhat attractive, so they thought I must have been taken. At the time I thought I was just an ugly nerd, so you can imagine my surprise.

I'm still insistent that I didn't generalise. To generalise would imply I said it was true of all intelligent women. I only spoke of all my encounters with intelligent women.

Back to the original question, I have become a little more jerk-like as you describe, which has proven to make me better w/ women. It's not that I decided to do it, but as with anything, the more you do something, the less sensitive you become to it (dating in this case). The more I dated, the less I became self-conscious about every little interaction. When that happened, I got a little bored. To spice things up, I'd throw in some resistance, or off-color banter, or teasing of some sort and bam!! I'm a jerk now. lol

The whole term "bad boy" I believe is a misnomer for what you're trying to describe. Many of these so-called "jerks" aren't really bad people at all. They're just experienced to the point where they've gotta be different to keep things interesting.