How do you know when someone is flirting with you?

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I could never tell when people were just idly being friendly flirty or were really interested. I am quite friendly and often had males thinking I was interested.

All too confusing, happily I am middle-aged and out of all that now.

What I have learned is that any exchanges between male and female are open to gross misinterpretation. Worst was when I went to an Osteopathic Clinic and some fanciful young girl (supposedly grown young woman trainee osteopath) suggested I fancied one of the old guys there. Ugh. *shudders*

heh, not exactly on topic but I have funny story: I was talking to my pdoc about other stuff and I mentioned that I was talking to a girl while i was out dancing. I then made a statment along the lines of "No wonder girls hair is always breaking and they need all kinds of product... she was constantly playing with it." (more elaborate but pretty much it.)

My pdoc mentioned the girl was probably flirting and that playing with hair is a "signal." Next she'll be telling me that the reason this girl was constantly touching my elbow wasn't because she was dyspraxic but because she was trying to send another "signal"

I can certainly relate to alot of what you describe. I often can't tell with the less obvious flirting and with the more obvious stuff, I doubt myself at the time.

I've looked back at many times where I'm pretty certain I should have said/done something in return and maybe something could've happened. And some of these instance's have been REALLY obvious on reflection, the worst being when out in a club an extremely attractive girl was dancing against me. Numerous thoughts came to mind as to why she wouldn't be interseted - maybe it's because she was to drunk, or the club was too crowded so not enough space, etc - so I more or less convinced myself not to. IDIOT!

I suppose, as has already been suggested, I just need to be clear in intentions and deal with the results.
I'm glad you posted, lets me know there are others in this situation and gives me a few tips!

This is not necessarily true. Some people just like to flirt, even with people they're not that interested in.

The problem isn't usually biting my tongue when I know there is flirting going on. It is registering in the first place that a person is actually flirting. Perhaps they are just exchanging information like I am?

when she gives me sex eyes

I don't know how to flirt and have no idea when I am being flirted with. I have had frineds tell me after the event "so and so was flirting with you" but I always thought they were joking. I remember once at a party this really nice lass started talking to me 9I was about 17 at the time) and she kissed me before I left but I never even thought to get her phone number or anything - how stupid was I? I guess deep down I don't see why anyone would be attracted to me so I always assume its a joke if they seem to be. :s

It's difficult for us Aspies to interpret such things, because it requires us to be able to read facial expressions very well. Granted some of us are good at it, though.

Usually when I talk to people I can just about work out when they are dying of boredom (quite often) but thats about it.