Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Should Aspies love?

Page 2 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

Should Aspies love/be in relationships, or is it simply not worth it?
Yes 91%  91%  [ 42 ]
No 9%  9%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 46

D1nk0
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2007
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,587

25 Apr 2008, 4:00 pm

ccflowergirl wrote:
Why shouldn't we have relationships, we our human after all! At one point i thought, after reading some thing on line, that said autistic people were mostly asexual or not very sexual people, so I thought well every thing else fits but i guess I’m not autistic. Then I came here and read more and I’ve never met a group of more horney people in all my life! And thought Wola! We have a winner! :lol:
Just because you have trouble socializing doesn’t mean you don't have human needs for companionship, love, and sex. :P
I for one I’m very high maintenance, I don't really want to open my self up to allot of girl friend relationship drama, i just like to be close to one person, and i seem to get allot better with guys as friends anyways , I just think that what would be better than your lover being your best friend? And I know that there are allot of guys out there that want to have there sports and fishing and hunting male bonding thing but I 'm still hoping that there is one guy out there left that would just like to do some female bonding!
So I’m for “A” relationship! :wink:


EX-ACTLY! :cheers:



ccflowergirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 696
Location: tulsa,ok

25 Apr 2008, 4:19 pm

Now if you were just alittle older! :lol:



hopelessaspielover
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 30
Location: Pennsylvania

27 Apr 2008, 5:25 pm

Well, I think they should. ^^ Life doesn't last forever, and you should always try something at least once before you die. lol. But we've been having this discussion for months now, haven't we? I appear to be getting nowhere. Anyway, I think they should because the amount of affection you have for the other person is so great you'd hate yourself if you never did. I have loads of other reasons, but you've heard them already. ^^ :heart: It's not a waste of time and if you feel like you should, then go ahead. If something's holding you back, just let go of it.


_________________
"Here's to the crazy ones... Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.&


pbcoll
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,892
Location: the City of Palaces

27 Apr 2008, 5:56 pm

ccflowergirl wrote:
I just think that, what would be better than your lover being your best friend?


Exactly how I feel.

I know a diagnosed aspie who is happily married with two very nice children. So while AS makes it harder to find someone, it doesn't mean you're inherently unsuitanble for romantic relationships.


_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)

El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)

I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).


frankcritic
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 167
Location: United States, AR

27 Apr 2008, 9:11 pm

For my purposes, these lyrics from U2 sum up my relationship with love very well.

You say love is a temple
Love the higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
And then you make me crawl
And I can't be holdin' on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

Should aspies love? Yes, in a perfect world. Here's the thing though, that's a lot bigger requirement if you're AS than if you're NT I think. It has to WORK. No games, no nonsense, no craziness, no anybody deluding themselves. NTs have such relative mastery over emotion and deception that they can stay in a marriage or a relationship for their whole lives and never notice the contradictions or the irrational paradoxes inherent to the thing. If a relationship is full of it, an aspie will know and not in the deep down where your heart is true kind of way either. They'll KNOW and be able to rationally explain to themselves and others why this won't work for them. In short, love must work on my terms and I cannot go against what I feel is basic human dignity just to hold onto it, which is, I find, often the price.

-Frank