Online dating.
I refuse to use online dating sites for soem of the reasons mentiones elsewhere in this thread. Even if I was willing to use them, it wouldn't work anyway, since I cannot feel attraction to someone I don't know at all... I've tested this using some of those "rate my attractveness" places and almost always rate other people very low...
MR_BOGAN
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Joined: 5 Mar 2008
Age: 124
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,479
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
My Tips.
Make sure you put an attractive picture of yourself up. Look neat and tidy.
Write a interesting profile about yourself, be yourself, don't try and please everyone. There are al sorts of girls out there so someone will find it interesting to.
I wait for women to msg me, that way you know that the person you are talking to is serious and not just doing online dating for a joke. A lot do it just as a self esteem thing.
Also if you are going to send a message to anyone, put some effort into it otherwise it is a waste of time. Heaps of guys just go on there and send mass messagers to everybody. Don't let your message look like one of those.
AnonymousAnonymous
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Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,138
Location: Portland, Oregon
1. Like any form of dating, get lots of practice.
2. Whole point of online dating is honesty--you don't need to put on airs and then worry about the nasty truth coming out later. I met my wife online. On my profile, when it said, "Describe your personality," I wrote, simply, "Weird." She thought I was joking. Her best friend said, "And this attracted you?" Whenever she says something like, "YOu're weird." I said, "Hey! I said it on my profile!" I also talked straight out about Marfan syndrome, etc. (DIdn't know about Asperger's then; "Weird" was my way of describing it).
3. When you write to someone you're interested in, do everything you can to show *why*. There are basically three kinds of online dating sites: "simple profile" pages more for casual dating," eHarmony-type sites, and "niche" sites, like sites based upon religion or some other factor. That colors the kinds of profiles they have. But, when you find a person whose profile interests you, there should be *reasons*. In your initial e-mail or Im, speak to those reasons.
By the time I met Mary, I'd been doing online dating for 3 years. I knew how to draft an introductory e-mail, and I wrote her this long message, replying to just about every point in her profile.
Every other message she got during her first days on that service was, "Hey, your profile's neat. WRite to me," or something to that effect.
I was her age and I wrote an interesting message. When she read *my* profile, she liked what she saw--including my picture.
She claims she pretty much decided I was the one right then and there.
Aspie affection is ok. I've only made friends there although, given the male to female aspie ratio around the world i can't say i am disappointed.
As for plentyoffish I am on there too, but again i agree with many reasons said before, the odds are stacked against you and I have not really made any friends there, the first person i spoke to was an utter chav, who did nothing but drink and club. Then I met someone i really did like but I blew it. Then someone came along who was quite awesome, then began to act like an utter idiot so i blocked them, then i came across what i suspect was a dating scammer. Plus i find other issues with the site
1) Too many users have such poor grammar and frequently use text speak
2)A lot of people never bother to make their profiles interesting, it's always a couple of lines and then usually in hobbies they put clubbing, drinking and going out.
3) I have found on the forums there people to be rather rude or fussy. I did not know whether someone messaging me was a scammer or not so i posted a topic asking for help and it got deleted.
4)Naked pictures, disgusting and degrading.
As for plentyoffish I am on there too, but again i agree with many reasons said before, the odds are stacked against you and I have not really made any friends there, the first person i spoke to was an utter chav, who did nothing but drink and club. Then I met someone i really did like but I blew it. Then someone came along who was quite awesome, then began to act like an utter idiot so i blocked them, then i came across what i suspect was a dating scammer. Plus i find other issues with the site
1) Too many users have such poor grammar and frequently use text speak
2)A lot of people never bother to make their profiles interesting, it's always a couple of lines and then usually in hobbies they put clubbing, drinking and going out.
3) I have found on the forums there people to be rather rude or fussy. I did not know whether someone messaging me was a scammer or not so i posted a topic asking for help and it got deleted.
4)Naked pictures, disgusting and degrading.
I don't believe in this 'we're in a relationship but we've never met' thing so aspieaffection is not for me (I was on it but since the only message I ever got was from a scammer, I deleted my profile)
plentyoffish can be summarised in 4 words: attack of the clones. 99% of profiles are outgoing girls up 4 a laugh that like clubbin n' pubbin looking 4 a cool guy with a gsoh, no weirdoes plze (the remaining 1% never reply). I found this sameness too depressing so I deleted my profile, too.
_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)
El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)
I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).
Last edited by pbcoll on 23 May 2008, 1:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
It's an odd world out there... okcupid has provided some humour over the years; nolongerlonely is a site that I haven't tried, though the premise is rather interesting. A little scary, admittedly, but interesting. I don't believe you need to pay a site to meet people, just a healthy dose of foolishness. That said, my first girlfriend (many many moons ago) was someone I met on a BBS - online dating isn't a bad thing, but it does have a different set of expectations.
M.
_________________
My thanks to all the wonderful members here; I will miss the opportunity to continue to learn and work with you.
For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
Oh yeah...I had one chick I was chatting with once...just chatting, I had no interest in her, especially since I was taken at the time...she totally went crazy nutso on me Said she was in love with me one minute (she was well aware I had no interest in her), called me an a-hole the next...she even logged in with a different screen name sometimes and pretended to be her friend, and told me she was crying in her bedroom and was threatening to kill herself...yeah...funny how you and your friend both make the exact same spelling mistakes
Every once in a while she tries to IM me, I just ignore her.
_________________
I'll brave the storm to come, for it surely looks like rain...
Oh yeah...I had one chick I was chatting with once...just chatting, I had no interest in her, especially since I was taken at the time...she totally went crazy nutso on me Said she was in love with me one minute (she was well aware I had no interest in her), called me an a-hole the next...she even logged in with a different screen name sometimes and pretended to be her friend, and told me she was crying in her bedroom and was threatening to kill herself...yeah...funny how you and your friend both make the exact same spelling mistakes
Every once in a while she tries to IM me, I just ignore her.
Dating scammers are just too predictable, despite being some of the worst type of people out there.
I am not going to give up on the dating game, but when you are on plentyoffish and see that every profile is the same it does make you wonder what hope mankind has or ever had when people lead such conformist lives.
I gots my own horror stories to tell of crazy psychotic online girls, though they don't have to do with dating or dating sites. Believe it or not, I've had two cases of girls finding my profile on VampireFreaks, adding me on MSN, and almost immediately asking me to masturbate on webcam for them. Um...what the hell? Naturally, I refused them both. Even sillier was the fact that neither of them had cams themselves. One of them was quite ugly in her pictures, too. People are crazy.
As for online dating in general, eh, I can't say I'm a fan, but you can still meet someone off of the internet and date them eventually, if the two of you really clique. The hard part is location--long distance relationships rarely work, so somebody's gonna have to move eventually if you want to make it something real. But who's to say that isn't an option? Think of the old tales, where heroes would travel to the ends of the earth for their loves, facing gazillions of soon-to-be-decapitated dragons in the process. Is moving away so bad in comparison to that?
Yes, but these are fairy tales - it's a bit unrealistic to expect that in real life.
Yep, I feel the same.
_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)
El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)
I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).
I recently tried online dating. I have received a couple messages, but they were from overweight women who I had no attraction to (I am not overly picky, and I am a fitness buff so I need someone who is at least a little in shape). I sent out a lot of messages, but haven't gotten any replies. I have a couple of decent pics up... but maybe they aren't good enough? Also I am listed as a student and that may turn some women off. I have an NT friend who has done well with online dating, he says it is easy, you just need to be really good at small talk and making them laugh, and they'll have sex with you on the first or second date. Where does this leave AS guys though?
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